The botanist, the gardener of the plant kingdom. Where would we be without them? Whether it’s cultivating rare, exotic flowers or inventing new plant-based medicines, botanists are responsible for many of our modern-day advancements in science and technology.
At the same time, botanists also have a reputation as being a bit, well… nerdy. And, of course, where there are nerds, there are jokes. So, if you know a botanist, or just appreciate the work they do, here are some funny botanist jokes to share.
Best Botanist Jokes
1. What do you call a botanist who’s lost in the woods?
A planteerest!
2. What do botanists use to communicate?
Plant languages!
3. What did the garden say after it sneezed?
“Tulips!”
4. Why did the botanist go to the bank?
He wanted to check his sap-ings.
5. What did the botanist say when he found two identical plants?
It must be a case of deja-vue!
6. What did the biologist say when she saw two plants of the same species getting married?
I thought plant reproduction was usually asexual!
7. What did one doctor say to the other when discussing botany?
“Let’s play stem and leaf!”
8. What did the botanist call his new-found plant species?
He named it thee Marinara Orchid!
9. Why did the botanist give up gardening?
Because they kept coming back with roots!
10. Why did the botanist go to the bank?
To get some plant-based money!
11. Why did the botanist go out of business?
Because there wasn’t enough bloom for him to make a profit!
12. What did one cactus say to the other when it asked for a hug?
You can’t embrace without thorns!
13. What did the botanist say when he found two identical plants?
He said “Identical twinsies!”
14. What did the botanist say when he discovered a new type of flower?
I think I’ve floristically found it!
15. What did the tree say to autumn?
Leaves be fallin’!
16. What did the botanist name her daughter?
Daisy!
17. What did the botanist say when he found a rare flower?
“It’s blooming marvelous!”
Killer Botanist Jokes
18. What did the botanist say when he found a rare flower?
Wow, it’s an un-beleafable discovery!
19. Why did the botanist cross the road?
To get to the other side flower!
20. What did the botanist say when he discovered a new species of flower?
“Wow, that’s one for the books!”
21. What did the botanist say when he found a rare flower?
“I’ve struck plant-gold!”
22. Why did the botanist take a break during his plant research?
He needed to recharge his batteries.
23. What do botanists say when they try to cross a river?
“I bridge the gap.”
24. What did the botanist say when he found a new species of flower?
I’m blooming with excitement!
25. What did the botanist say when he got stuck in a rut?
“I’m just taking root!”
26. What did the botanist name his pet fly?
Syzy-Glow.
27. Why did the botanist cross the road?
To get to the other flower bed!
28. What do you call a botanist who discovers and studies dangerous plants?
An ap-toxicologist!
29. Why did the botanist sneeze uncontrollably?
He had too much pollen in his system!
30. Why is the botanist always running?
Because he plants seeds of speed!
31. Why did the botanist break up with her boyfriend?
They just weren’t growing in the same direction.
32. What did the botanist say when she realized her plants had come to life?
“I think I’m root-ing for something!”
33. Why did the botanist have to break up with her plant?
Because it wasn’t flowering in their relationship.
34. What did the botanist say when she discovered a new species of rare flower?
“It’s an unbe-leaf-able find!”
35. What do you call a botanist who’s really good at exploring plants?
a super-plant explorer!
36. What did the botanist say when he found out about the bee’s death?
“That’s flowers for thought.
37. What did the botanist do when he found an odd-looking flower?
He took a [petal] off its crime].
38. What did the botanist say when he saw a rare flower
Wow, that’s poppy-crazing!
39. What did the botanist name their first pet?
They called it a fern-chise!
40. What did the botanist say when he saw his monstrous creation?
“It’s alive! ALI-VEE!”
41. What did the botanist say when she discovered a new species of flower?
“It’s bloomin’ marvelous!”
42. Why did the killer botanist water his plants with poison?
To make sure they grew flowers of death!
43. Why did the killer botanist go to prison?
Because they had a policy of ‘No Stems No Seeds!’
44. What did the botanist say when he found out his experiment was a success?
I’m in bloomin’ love with it!
45. What did the botanist say when he discovered a new type of flower?
Wow, this is going to make a bouquet-iful addition to my garden!
46. What do you call a botanist who kills people?
A Murd-erine!
47. What did the botanist say when he found out they had invented genetically modified plants?
Wow! You can’t beet that!
48. What did the killer botanist say when asked why he killed all those plants?
“I just couldn’t help myself! It was flower power gone mad!”
49. What did the botanist say when he won a Nobel Prize in Plant Sciences?
I’m rooting for this!
50. What do you call a botanist that specializes in dangerous plants?
An extreme horticulturist!
51. Why did the botanist cross the road?
To get to the other plant-side!
52. What did the botanist say when he found poisonous foliage?
Oh, leaf me alone!
53. What did the botanist say when he wanted to break up with his cactus?
Let’s just be ‘prickly’ friends.
54. What do botanists take to the party?
Pot-pourri!
56. What did the botanist say when they stepped on a bee?
Oh no, I’ve made an ouch-dinary discovery!
Cute Botany Jokes
Do you have a green thumb? If so, then you’ll love these botanist jokes! Botany is a fascinating science that studies all aspects of plants, from their structure, growth, reproduction and even their evolution.
Botanists are often seen as serious-minded scientists, but even they have a sense of humor. o, here are some botanist jokes that will make all the green thumbs out there green with laughter.
57. What did the cactus say when it was hugged?
“Don’t holds me back!”
58. How does a plant find its way home?
With leaf annunaki.
59. What did one tree say to the other?
Leaf me alone!
60. What did the mushroom say to the flower?
You’re such a fungi!
61. Why do fungi only have one eye?
Because they are mushrooms!
62. What do you call a tiny flower?
A dandelion in disguise
63. What type of plant likes to dance?
A boogie-plant!
64. What did one creep vine say to the other?
Let’s cling together!
65. What did the singing flower say?
Petal can move mountains!
66. What did the fungus say after a great date?
It was toad-ally awesome!
65. What did the plant say when it was offered a drink?
“No thanks, I’m photosynthesizing!”
67. Why did the bamboo shoot stop growing?
Because it ran out of bam-boo.
68. What did the fern say when it got a good grade on its test?
I’m frond of this result!
69. What did one flower say to another?
I’m so happy we are in the same bouquet!
70. What did the red rose say to his friend?
“I’m blushing!”
71. What do you call a botanist who loves plants?
A Plant Nerd!
72. Why don’t flowers like to play jokes with trees?
Because they always fall flat!
73. Why did the botanist leave his houseplant in the kitchen?
He was trying to have a leafy breakfast!
74. Why did the cucumber go to the spa?
Because it needed a “pickle”!
75. What do you call a flower that only blooms once a year?
An annual rose.
76. Why don’t trees ever forget?
Because they have such good mahogany!
77. Why do mushrooms always get invited to parties?
Because they’re such a fungi!
78. Why did the plant go to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t feeling leafy!
79. What did the mold say when it saw its friend?
“It’s so fungi to see you!”
80. Why did the daisy go out with the carrot?
Because they were made for each other!
81. What did the bee say to the flower?
“What’s up, bud?”
Funny Botanist Jokes
Do you have an affinity for plants? Are you a budding botanist with a wild sense of humor? If so, you’ve come to the right place! Here, you’ll find the most botanically-correct jokes to keep you chuckling for hours.
82. Why did the botanist take a bath?
He wanted to make his plants bloom!
83. What did the forest ranger say to the botanist?
“What’s up, tree-ducer!”
84. What did the botanist say when he found a rare flower?
I’m 6-petaled over this!
85. What do you call a singing flower?
A Petal-odist!
86. What did the botanist say when he saw a strange-looking plant?
“Weird leaf, Dude!”
87. Why did the botanist go to the party?
To see some plants!
89. How do you make a slow plant go faster?
Switch it to sunflower fuel!
90. Why did the botanist cross the road?
To get to the other flowerbed!
91. What did the botanist say when he found two identical plants?
“I have a case of deja-gro!”
92. What did the botanist say when he discovered a new type of flower?
I think I found myself a posy-tive!
93. What did the plant say when it was feeling down?
“I’m weed-ing.”
94. What did the Venesian cotton say to its admirer?
You’re so maize-ing!
95. What did the botanist say when they sneezed?
pollen my nose!
96. Why did the botanist order a salad for dinner?
So she could have her greens!
97. What did the valley flower say to the mountain flower?
“You know I’m hill over you!”
98. Why did the botanist have to take a break while studying plants?
Because she was getting stem cell fatigue.
99. Why did the botanist cross the road?
Because she wanted to get to the other leaf!
100. What does a botanist do when she’s done for the day?
She packs her plantain and goes home!
101. What did the botanist say to his girlfriend?
I love you from my stem to thyme!
102. What do you call a sleeping flower?
A tulip in the nap!
103. What did the flower say to its admirer?
I stem confused!
104. Why did the botanist go to the bank?
He wanted to get some of his species out of debt!
105. What did the botanist say when he found a rare flower?
I’m stem-winded!
106. How do botanists count to ten?
By photosynthesizing!
107. What did the botanist say when she found out her plants could talk?
“My shrubs have something to say!”
108. Why didn’t the botanist like driving on long trips?
She was worried her plants would wilt.
109. What did the plant say when it saw a bee?
“Oh snap! Here comes the pollen jacker!”
110. What did the botanist say when another asked for a leaf?
Leaf me alone
111. Why don’t botanists tend to play poker?
Because there are too many cheats!
Jokes about Botanist
112. What did the botanist say when he saw a flower?
“It’s blooming marvelous!”
113. Why did the botanist take a trip on an airplane?
He wanted to get some high-altitude plants!
114. How does a botanist describe the perfect day?
Sun, no vines and lots of leaves!
115. What do you call a botanist who is always late?
A repotted appointment!
116. What did the botanist say when his seeds sprouted?
“That’s just grow-dian!”
117. Why did the botanist go to the bank?
To get a loan-dleaf!
118. What did the botanist name their twins?
Flower 1 and Flower 2!
119. What did the Botanist say when he found two similar plants?
I’ve “dicot” this one before!
120. What did the botanist say when he received a bouquet of flowers?
Wow! I must be pollen my stars today!
121. What did the botanist say when she found out her plants were getting new leaves?
“I’m leafing with excitement!”
122. What did the botanist say when he found a rare orchid?
Oh my flower!
123. What did the botanist say when she found a rare flower?
“I’m so foliage!”
124. What did the Botanist say when he found a rare flower?
“I’ve rooted out something special!”
125. What did the botanist say when he couldn’t find his favorite flower?
“I’m at my wits’ end!”
126. Why did the botanist go out of business?
Because he was always leafing through his expenses!
127. Why did the botanist get mad when her flowers didn’t bloom?
She was PO’d because they planted lies!
128. Why don’t botanists have a sense of humor?
They can’t see the funny side of photosynthesis!
129. Why did the botanist bring a ladder to work?
Because he wanted to get to the top of his field!
130. What did the botanist name his four daughters?
Daisy, Rose, Lily and Fern!
131. Why did the botanist wear glasses?
To see leaves more clearly!
132. What did the botanist say when he lost his keys?
“Oh, plant any clues!”
133. Why did the botanist cross the road?
To get to the photocopier, because he wanted to make some extra copies of his petals!
134. What do you call a Botanist with perfect pitch?
A Tune-tanic!
135. What do you call a botanist who can’t stop talking?
A prattling plant expert!
136. What did the botanist say when he saw a flower turn into money?
“This blooms with potential!”
137. What did the botanist say when they bought a new bag?
“It’s bryophyte!”
138. What did the botanist call his pet microorganism?
His little fungus among-us.
139. Why did the botanist throw her head back in laughter?
A: Because she found an ammonium Funny-gid.
140. What did the botanist say when he found a rarity in his garden?
It’s a rare bloomin’ miracle!
141. What do you call a botanist who is really bad at making jokes?
A Pictionary.
142. Why did the botanist order take out?
Because he wanted to get some take-out of the garden!
143. What did the botanist say when someone stepped on his flower?
“Hey, leaf me out of this!”
144. Why don’t botanists play cards?
They’re always stuck playing their leafs!
145. What did the tree say when it got pruned?
“I’m stumped!”
146. What did the botanist say when he found a rare plant?
“I’ve struck herb!”
147. Why did the botanist go to the bookstore?
To get some flowery books!
148. What did the botanist say when she discovered a new species of flower?
“Wow! It’s like I’ve found a needle in a haystack!”
149. What did the botanist say when they discovered a new species of plant?
I’ve just rooted out an amazing discovery!
Also, check-out:
- Best Hanging up Jokes
- Funny Magnet Jokes
- Hilarious Jokes About Stuttering
- Jokes about salsa with Puns
- Hilarious Jokes About Ecology
- Jokes About Garbage
- Jokes About Forgiveness
Conclusion
In conclusion, botanist jokes can be a great way to bring a bit of lightheartedness to any conversation. Whether you’re a botanist yourself or just a fan of gardening, these jokes can be sure to bring a smile to anyone’s face. So the next time you’re in the garden, why not take a moment to share a botanist joke and spread some joy?
