Donald Trump is known for his bold statements, unfiltered remarks, and unforgettable moments that often leave people laughing—or shaking their heads.
If you’re looking for a good dose of humor, this collection of funny Donald Trump quotes brings together some of his most hilarious, witty, and outrageous lines.
From political blunders to everyday observations, these funny Donald Trump quotes show why he’s one of the most talked-about figures in modern history. Get ready to laugh, cringe, and maybe even repeat a few of these quotes to your friends!
Funny Donald Trump Quotes One Liners
1. “Despite the constant negative press covfefe” – Trump’s midnight brain fart.
2. “I’m like a smart person, I have the best words.” – Word salad champion.
3. “Nobody knows more about taxes than me.” – Except maybe his accountants.
4. “I have the best brain, tremendous brain.” – Phrenology called, wants its scan back.
5. “The concept of global warming was created by China.” – For the ultimate AC sales pitch.
6. “Windmills cause cancer.” – Renewable energy’s new supervillain origin story.
7. “I alone can fix it.” – Superhero cape sold separately.
8. “Fake news is the enemy of the people.” – Journalism’s evil twin alert.
9. “My IQ is one of the highest.” – Tested on a gold-plated scale.
10. “We’re like a garbage can for the world.” – Oval Office recycling bin vibes.
11. “Get your fat husband off the couch!” – Campaign slogan for couch potatoes.
12. “Despite the negative covfefe press covfefe.” – Double the typo, double the fun.
13. “I know the best people.” – Until “You’re fired!”
14. “It’s going to be wild!” – Rally cry or zoo escape warning?
15. “The witch hunt is a disgrace.” – Broomstick parking only.
16. “I have a great relationship with the Blacks.” – Straight from the focus group.
17. “We have the greatest economy in history.” – Asterisk: Pre-pandemic edition.
18. “Animals, they’re animals.” – MS-13 or just bad pet owners?
19. “Let Jimmy Kimmel rot in his bad ratings.” – Late-night curse activated.
20. “Darth Vader? That’s Russ Vought!” – Budget meetings gone Star Wars.
Read More: 111+ 50 Facts About Donald Trump
Best Funny Donald Trump Quotes
1. “I don’t sleep on planes. I don’t like sleeping on planes. You know. I like looking out the window, watching for missiles and enemies, actually.”
2. “I am looking for something to grab here. It’s going to get rough… So, I am looking for something to grab and it’s not going to be Karoline.”
3. “Nothing bad can happen, it can only good happen.”
4. “And as you know, other of the medicines are absolutely proven bad, I mean they’ve been proven bad, with the aspirins and the Advils and others, right?”
5. “We’re going to redo the grass with the finest grasses. I know a lot about grass because I own a lot of golf courses — and if you don’t have good grass, you’re not in business very long.”
6. “I never understood wind. You know, I know windmills very much. I’ve studied it better than anybody.”
7. “You want to see a bird graveyard? Go under a windmill someday. You’ll see more birds than you’ve ever seen in your life.”
8. “It comes from you people. Incredible people. Good-looking people. Too many good-looking people. I don’t like good-looking people.”
9. “They said global warming will kill the world, but then it started getting cooler. So now they just call it climate change, because that way, they can’t miss. If it goes higher or lower — whatever the hell happens — it’s climate change.”
10. “Modi is a great man. He loves Trump. I don’t want you to take the word ‘love’ any differently. I don’t want to destroy his political career.”
11. “We’re going back to plastic straws. These things don’t work. … I don’t think that plastic is going to affect a shark very much as they’re munching their way through the ocean.”
12. “Oh wow, it’s beautiful! Wow. That’s beautiful. This is a different panel than I’ve — everything’s computer!”
13. “I call it the N-word. There are two N-words, and you can’t use either of them.”
14. “I had zero respect for him as a president. But he would bop down those stairs.”
15. “You don’t have to set any record. Be cool when you walk down. But don’t bop down the stairs.”
16. “She’s become a star. It’s that face. It’s that brain. It’s those lips, the way they move. They move like she’s a machine gun.”
17. “I said, ‘What’s your first name?’ ‘Raizin, sir. They call me Raizin.’ And I say, ‘what the hell kind of a name is that? Right?'”
18. “A lot of presidents refuse to say that. They refuse to say that… Some refuse. Some major politicians refuse to say the word ‘God.’ They don’t want to say it. I say it.”
19. “They laughed at you and they said they didn’t respect our country. They didn’t respect our president. They thought he was a joke.”
20. “What a view. This is the door to the ballroom.”
Related: 117+ Iran War Quotes
Famous Funny Donald Trump Quotes
1. Every president promises change… usually in coins.
2. The Oval Office proves even leaders don’t like corners.
3. Presidents don’t retire, they just campaign slower.
4. Every president’s favorite workout: running for office.
5. Presidents are proof anyone can get a job with no experience.
6. The presidential seal should really be a coffee cup.
7. Presidents don’t make mistakes—they make “executive decisions.”
8. Every president’s favorite game: musical chairs with cabinets.
9. Presidents don’t age—they just collect gray hair faster.
10. The president’s pen is mightier than the sword… but not the budget.
11. Presidents love history—it makes their mistakes look smaller.
12. Every president’s favorite holiday: Election Day.
13. Presidents don’t tell jokes—they sign them into law.
14. The president’s desk is called “Resolute”… mostly because it never moves.
15. Presidents don’t lose arguments—they declare them classified.
16. Every president’s favorite sport: dodging questions.
17. Presidents don’t sleep—they just filibuster in bed.
18. The best presidential campaign slogan? “Trust me, I’ll try.”
19. Presidents love speeches—they’re just long stand‑up routines without punchlines.
20. Every president’s favorite snack: cabinet meetings.
Donald Trump Funny Quotes Reddit
1. “I know words. I have the best words.”
2. “Sorry losers and haters, but my I.Q. is one of the highest — and you all know it!”
3. “I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn’t lose voters.”
4. “It’s freezing and snowing in New York — we need global warming!”
5. “The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese.”
6. “I’m, like, a really smart person.”
7. “My Twitter has become so powerful that I can actually make my enemies tell the truth.”
8. “I’m the king of debt. I love debt.”
9. “I’m not a schmuck. Even if the world goes to hell in a handbasket, I won’t lose a penny.”
10. “I have a great relationship with the blacks. I’ve always had a great relationship with the blacks.”
11. “I have the best brain — it’s been working hard since the campaign.”
12. “God created Trump, and then he said, ‘I think I’ll do a good job.’”
13. “Thank you Kanye, very cool!”
14. A classic: how Trump says “China.”
15. “Gina!” — a hilariously out‑of‑context shout that became a meme.
16. “I think I am actually humble. I think I’m much more humble than you would understand.”
17. “I have tremendous respect for women. Nobody has more respect for women than I do.”
18. “We have to take back our country. So important. So important.”
19. “I’m the most successful person ever to run for the presidency, by far.”
20. “Low‑energy individual.” — nickname for Jeb Bush that became a meme.
Related : 119+ Famous Anti War Quotes
Most Funny Donald Trump Quotes
1. “I shot down an Iranian drone — it was beautiful!” – A boast about destruction rather than defense
2. “I’m a stable genius.” – Self-proclaimed intelligence
3. “Build the wall and make Mexico pay for it — they’ll love it.” – A promise to build a wall
4. “You’re getting schlonged by China!” – A debate zinger
5. “Such a nasty woman.” – An insult to Hillary Clinton
6. “Fake News!” – A dismissal of unfavorable media coverage
7. “Low-energy Jeb!” – A jab at Jeb Bush
8. “Crooked Hillary.” – An insult to Hillary Clinton
9. “I’m the greatest.” – Self-praise
10. “I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose voters.” – Confidence in his voter base
11. “I have the best words.” – Boast about his vocabulary
12. “Make America Great Again.” – A campaign slogan
13. “I don’t think I’ve ever met a smarter group of people than this.” – Sarcastic remark
14. “I know more about ISIS than the generals do.” – Claim of expertise
15. “I love the poorly educated.” – Controversial statement
16. “You’re a disaster — your whole life is a disaster.” – Insult to an opponent
17. “I have a great relationship with the blacks.” – Controversial statement
18. “Nobody loves coal more than I do.” – Support for coal industry
19. “I may not be politically correct, but you know what? I don’t care.” – Disregard for political correctness
20. “I could be perfectly fine drinking tap water — some people like the lead.” – Comment on water quality
Funny Donald Trump Quotes In English
1. “Despite the constant negative press covfefe.”
2. “I have the best words.”
3. “The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese.”
4. “I will build a great wall—and Mexico will pay for it.”
5. “Blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever.”
6. “I alone can fix it.”
7. “Nobody knows more about taxes than me.”
8. “Windmills cause cancer.”
9. “These are very, very stupid people.”
10. “Grab ’em by the pussy.”
11. “I have a great relationship with the Blacks.”
12. “Get your fat husband off the couch!”
13. “Let Jimmy Kimmel rot in his bad ratings.”
14. “The United States has become a dumping ground.”
15. “I’m not a schmoozer. I’m a fighter.”
16. “You could see there was blood coming out of her wherever.”
17. “I know the best people.”
18. “Fake news is the enemy of the people.”
19. “My IQ is one of the highest.”
20. “We’re going to test ABC out on this.”
FAQS
What are few lines about Trump?
Donald Trump is an American businessman, television personality, and politician who served as the 45th President of the United States from 2017 to 2021. He is known for his real estate ventures, hosting The Apprentice, and his controversial and outspoken political style.
What was Trump’s famous line on TV?
Donald Trump’s most famous line on TV comes from The Apprentice, where he often said: “You’re fired!” when eliminating contestants. It became his signature catchphrase and is widely associated with his persona.
What is Trump’s famous tagline?
Donald Trump’s most famous political tagline is “Make America Great Again”, often abbreviated as MAGA. It was the central slogan of his 2016 presidential campaign and became widely recognized globally.
Final Thoughts
From witty one-liners to downright outrageous statements, funny Donald Trump quotes never fail to entertain. Whether you love him, disagree with him, or just enjoy a good laugh, these quotes capture the bold, unfiltered personality that keeps people talking.
Bookmark this collection, share your favorites with friends, and keep coming back whenever you need a quick dose of humor—because when it comes to funny Donald Trump quotes, there’s always something new to chuckle at!