150+ Funny sayings about cold weather, captions, and quotes

 Winter is coming, and with it comes a whole host of feelings: from excitement to sadness to just plain old boredom. But don’t worry, we have you covered with a roundup of funny sayings about cold weather. From the hilarious to the heartbreaking, read on for some warming words that will help get you through this season.

Funniest Cold Weather Sayings

1. “Warm drinks make you sweat, cold drinks make you shiver.”

2. “I’m not wearing a coat because it’s too hot outside–I’m wearing a coat because I’m cold outside.”

3. “Stay warm and don’t catch a cold.”

4. “If it’s below freezing, go outside and freeze to death.”

5. “Cold weather is the perfect time to curl up with a good book.”

6. “The colder the weather, the sharper people’s minds become.”

7. “When it’s cold outside, wear lots of layers so you can be as thin as possible and still stay warm.”

8. “Cold weather makes for great photography opportunities–you can get all the contrasting colors in the snow!”

9. “In cold weather, your toes will turn blue if you don’t keep them warm.”

Funny southern sayings about cold weather

  • You’ll be so happy you’re a hot dog when you’re a dog.
  • If you’re wearing gloves and can’t feel your hands, you’re a hot dog.
  •  If it’s too warm to wear a coat, you’re a hot dog.
  • If you’re in a hurry, the weather is in your favor.
  • It’s a warm day if you see your breath.
  • This is one of those times when “cold” actually means “wet”.
  • When the weather gets colder, there’s nothing more satisfying than curling up in front of a warm fire with a good book or movie.
  • There’s only one reason you would need to use the word “polar” and it’s because you’re too lazy to say “winter”.
  • It’s just as well you don’t have to worry about the “dog days” of summer since you probably wouldn’t be able to take a dog anywhere.
  • When it gets cold, don’t panic; it’s just a phase. It will pass, and then you can have spring again.
  •  You may find it hard to find things that need doing when you are cold. But when you have found them, they will need doing.
  •  People who live in cold countries find it difficult to understand how people can enjoy the heat.
  •  There is no bad weather, only inappropriate clothing.
  • The snow is nice, but the ice is better.
  •  If you have trouble sleeping during winter, try wearing a hat.
  •  A little bit of snow is good luck; much too much means bad luck.
  •  In winter, the most important thing is a warm house, a warm heart, and a warm bed.
  • I am very fond of winter, and I look forward to it more than any other season.
  • If it’s too cold to shovel your driveway, it’s not cold enough to snowboard.

funny things to say about cold weather

  • If it snows and you don’t go out sledding, you are a communist.
  • You can have a good time, or you can have a great time, but you cannot have both.
  • A snowstorm is when God closes his umbrella.
  • A blizzard is when God opens his umbrella.
  • I may be crazy, but I’m not stupid.
  • The coldest winter I ever spent was the summer I spent in Hell.
  •  You can survive a week without food, but you can’t survive a second without a drink.
  • We’re all going to die. It’s only a matter of time.
  •  We’ll find you. We’ll find you if you don’t want to be found.
  •  The coldest place to be is on top of a mountain in February.
  • I’m afraid the forecast is very bad – it’s going to be cold.
  •  I’m sorry, I’m wearing a winter hat.
  •  I’m not sure if it’s warm or cold out, but I think it’s winter.
  •  The best part about winter is that there are so many things to stay inside.

funny sayings about the cold weather

  •  What’s the difference between snow and ice? Ice melts in the summertime.
  •  Do you know the best way to keep someone warm? Put them in a bag with a hot dog.
  •  If you find yourself in a snowstorm, go inside. It’s a lot warmer than it is out there.
  • Snow days are great because they give you a chance to catch up on your TV shows.
  •  Ice makes you feel like you’re trapped in a refrigerator.
  • I feel like it’s snowing in my heart.
  • “Frosting on top, but still warm at the core.”
  • “It is colder in the winter, but sweeter in the spring.”
  • “I can think of no better companion in a long, dark night than a good book.”
  • The coldest winter I ever spent was the summer I met you.”
  •  “Sometimes you have to take a licking before you know who you are.”
  • We’ll get through this together.
  • No matter how bad your winter was, I’m sure it was worse.
  •  Don’t sweat the small stuff.
  • It’s too late for me, but it’s never too late for you.
  • It’s cold outside, so put on some warm clothes!
  •  I hate this weather!
  •  If it wasn’t for my coat, I would be naked.
  •  If I didn’t have a hat, I’d go bald.
  •  I hate winter because it makes me wear my sweater.
  • I’m going to turn into a snowman and take a nap.
  •  “It’s freezing out there. Is it always this bad?”
  •  “If you’re wearing fur, you’re too close to the fire.”
  • “It’s not so bad. It could be worse.”

funny sayings about blue balls and cold weather

  • “No matter what, somebody will find a way to complain about the cold.”
  •  “You can’t have both hot and cold in the same house.”
  • “How many layers can you wear?”
  •  “You’ll feel better when you’re inside.”
  • “That’s my girl!”
  •  This is when people with short tempers start to get short on patience.
  •  If you get cold and don’t have enough food or warm clothes, you will catch pneumonia and die.
  • You can survive with less than 10% of the recommended daily allowance of anything.
  •  It takes 15 minutes to get used to -20°F temperatures.
  •  Winter can be a long time.
  •  “Winter is coming.” – The Wizard of Oz
  •  “Hurry up and wait.” – Peter Pan
  • “I’m freezing my tuchus off.” – Alice in Wonderland
  •  “I can’t feel my nose!” – Groucho Marx
  • “You’ll have to speak louder, I’m feeling a little chilly myself.” – Pinocchio’s

funny sayings about cold

  • “Warm me up, cold hands.” – Snow White
  •  “I think I might be catching a cold.” – Winnie the Pooh
  •  “If you want a snowball’s chance in hell of surviving in this world, you’d better get yourself a good thick rug.” – The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
  •  “The wind is bitter cold and
  • When you’re driving in freezing temperatures, don’t drive slowly.
  •  Never put hot coffee near frozen food; it will defrost the food.
  •  If you are out of gas, put a match to it.

funny expressions for cold weather

  •  Don’t put your hand in the cookie jar when there are cookies in it.
  •  It is dangerous to operate heavy machinery when you are wearing a mitten.
  •  Take your boots off and walk across a frozen pond.
  •  When you’re camping, don’t pack a chair.
  • It’s okay to eat hot dogs if you live in Alaska.
  •  Never go skiing after eating.

 It takes no brains to walk across a frozen lake, it only takes feet.

Cold Weather Quotes

When it’s cold outside, everyone wants to cuddle up with a hot beverage. But what about when it’s just too cold to drink anything? Here are some funny sayings about cold weather that will make you laugh.

  • “I can’t drink coffee because it makes me cold.”
  • “I don’t want hot chocolate; I want my warm cup of coffee.”
  • “It’s really cold outside! I wish I had a coat or something.”
  • “I’m not going out; it’s too cold.”
  • “This is the worst winter ever! It’s freezing out!”

Winter Weather Quotes

Cold weather can be a drag, but it’s also the time of year when we can all appreciate some funny sayings about cold weather. Here are a few that we hope will bring a little levity to your winter days!

  • “When it’s this cold outside, I feel like I’m wearing oven mitts.”
  • “I have to shovel my driveway in the snow because there isn’t enough ice on the road.”
  • “I think I’m going to go take a hot bath instead of going out in this cold.”
  • “Considering how much money I’ve spent on holiday gifts for people who don’t like the cold, I might as well just curl up under a warm blanket and watch TV.”
  • “It feels like such a waste to wear clothes when it’s this cold outside.”

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