Onions may be small, but they sure pack a punch when it comes to humor! Whether you’re a fan of groan-worthy puns or clever wordplay, these onion puns are sure to get a chuckle out of even the grumpiest of vegetable haters.
From funny quips about onions and tears to punny jokes about cooking with them, these puns about onions will have you rolling on the floor with laughter.
Funny Puns About Onions
1. What did the onion say when it was asked to go home? “I really can’t, I’m in a caravan!”
2. Why do onions make good detectives? Because they always have layers!
3. How does an onion text its friends? With veg-messages!
4. What do you call an onion that’s really good at math?A: A Calculi Onion.
5. “Why don’t onions make good pets? Because every time you try to hug them, they make you cry!”
6. “Why do onions make terrible detectives? Because they always make you cry while they’re interrogating you!”
7. “Why did the onion go to the doctor? Because it was peeling sick!”
8. “Why did the onion cross the road? To get to the other fry!”
9. “Why do onions make terrible breakfast food? Because nobody likes crying over their cereal!”
10. “Why did the onion go to the seance? To try and get in touch with its root!”
11. “Why did the onion refuse to go skydiving? Because it didn’t want to risk getting diced in mid-air!”
Best Puns About Onions
Onions are a popular ingredient in many dishes and are also a great source of humor. From classic puns to onion-themed jokes, there’s always something to make you chuckle when it comes to onions.
Whether you’re a fan of funny food puns or just like a good laugh, here are some of the best puns about onions that you can share with your friends. Enjoy!
12. What do you call a lazy onion? A cer-tangy!
13. Why did the onions go into couples therapy? Because they wanted to learn how to make things less saucy between them!
14. How are onions like a bowling ball? They both have layers and make people cry!
15. Did you hear about the young onion who was arrested for theft? He was caught taking a dehydrator in his pants!
16. Why don’t onions make good detectives? They can never stop crying!
17. What did the onion say when it saw its reflection in the mirror? “Oh no, I’m sautéing”
17. If you think someone is half-baked just toss them an onion – because they’re not complete without one!
18. Where do Onions go on vacation? The Leek Islands!
19. What kind of onion can never cry? An imp-onion!
20. Why did the woman plant onions in her garden? She wanted to see them grow and leek!
21. Did you hear about the vegetarian who ate nothing but onions for a month? He became really punchy!
22. What do you call it when someone cries after cutting an onion? A tearable offense!
23. What did the onion say when it saw its reflection in the mirror? “I’m feeling a bit teary!”
24. Why wouldn’t the leopard eat onions? It was afraid of being spotted!
25. How do you make an onion cry? Chop it up into pieces!
26. What do you call an onion that’s in denial? A leek!
27. How do onions make sure they stay on track financially? They keep a close tab on their expenditures.
28. Where would an onion go if it needed to relax? The spa-hoven!
29. What did the red onion say when it saw its reflection in the mirror? “Oh, I’m looking a bit pale today!”
30. Why don’t potatoes date onions? Because they have separate peels!
31. How do you make an onion cry? Chop it in two!
32. What did the onion say after being cut into slices? “I’m feeling a little ‘chopped’ up!”
33. What did the onion say when it saw itself in the mirror? Sh-alot!
34. Why wouldn’t the baby onion leave his house? Because he was afraid of making a thin slice of himself!
35. What do you call an onion that’s always ready to party? All-yeonion!
36. Why don’t onions and potatoes ever get along? Because one gets shirty when the other cube jokes about them!
37. Where does a group of onions like to go for vacations? To their peelings!
38. What would happen if all the world’s onions were chopped in half? Worldwide weepage!
39. Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke involving onions? He was awarded a No-bell prize!
Onion Puns About Goodbye
Onions are versatile vegetables that can be used in a variety of dishes, from savory to sweet. With their distinct flavor, onions are a favorite ingredient for many cooks.
They are also a source of endless puns, which are sure to liven up any conversation. Here are some of the best puns about onions that you can use to make your friends and family smile.
41. I’m going to cry my eyes out when I bid you Onion farewell.
42. We’ve diced to go our separate ways, goodbye!
43. It’s been a tear-jerking experience, but it’s time to say onion adieu.
43. I’m onion the brink of tears as I say farewell.
44. It’s time to cut ties and say goodbye.
45. I never thought saying goodbye would be so onion-pleasant.
46. I’m crying like an onion as we say our goodbyes.
47. Let’s not get all mushy as we say goodbye, onion the other hand…
48. It’s time to peel out of here and say onion are.
49. We’ve chopped it up, and it’s time to say goodbye.
50. I’m in a bit of a pickle as we say our goodbyes, onion the bright side…
51. It’s time to say onion adios and move on.
52. I’m feeling a little raw as we say our goodbyes.
53. We’ve been through a lot together, but now it’s time to onion part ways.
54. Let’s not cry over spilled onions, but it’s time to say goodbye.
55. I’m going to miss you a bunch, onion the other hand…
56. We’ve diced it up, and it’s time to say farewell.
57. It’s time to bid you onion goodbye and go our separate ways.
58. I’m cutting ties with you, but I’ll always have a special place in my heart for onions.
59. I’m not crying, you’re crying. Okay, maybe we’re both crying as we say goodbye.
60. Let’s onion-ly remember the good times as we say our goodbyes.
61. We’ve chopped it up, but now it’s time to onion end things.
62. I’m feeling a little weepy as we say goodbye, onion the other hand…
63. It’s time to peel off and say onion farewell, my friend.
Jokes About Onions
Whether you’re using them in a meal or just having a bit of fun with puns, onions are a great ingredient that can bring joy to any conversation. With these puns about onions, you’ll be sure to have everyone in stitches.
64. Why did the onion break up with the garlic? Because it wasn’t their shallot.
65. Why don’t onions cry when they’re cut? Because they have many layers to hide their emotions.
66. What do you call an onion that’s always getting into trouble? A scallion.
67. Why did the onion go to the doctor? Because it was feeling saucy.
68. Why did the onion go to the gym? To get a better onion shape.
69. What do you call an onion that’s gone bad? A spoiled bulb.
70. Why did the onion refuse to play cards? Because it was always getting diced.
71. Why did the onion join the baseball team? To get a good bunt.
72. Why did the onion cross the road? To get to the other fry.
73. Why did the onion go on a date with a carrot? Because it wanted to find a good root.
74. Why did the onion go to the cinema? To see the latest onion flick.
75. What did the onion say to the tomato? You’re not my type, I’m looking for a sweet onion.
76. What do you call an onion that’s really big? A colossal bulb.
77. Why did the onion go to the doctor? Because it was peeling a bit under the weather.
78. What did the onion say when it got complimented? Aw, shucks.
79. Why did the onion get a job at the bakery? To make onion rings.
80. What did one onion say to the other onion that was misbehaving? You’re in a lot of hot oil now.
81. What do you call an onion that’s just been fired? A laid-off layer.
82. Why don’t onions use Facebook? Because they prefer to keep their layers private.
Clever Onion Puns
83. “Why did the onion cry? Because it was feeling all the layers!”
84. “What do you call an onions’ family reunion? A ‘tear-a-tier”!
85. What do you call an onion that makes jokes? a shallot-y speaking one!
86. How do onions make friends? They have to really get to the root of things.
87 . What did the onion say when it saw a scary movie? “I’m in tears!”
88. Why did the onion cry? Because it was feeling a little dunder-onion!
89. What do you call a talking onion? A Chatter-Vale!
90. What do onions use when they want to talk? A Voice-able!
91. Why did the Onion get invited everywhere? Because it was a real social “chieftain”!
92. What did the onion say when it saw its reflection in the mirror? “Oh, why hello there! I’m a-peeling!”
93. Why did the onion go to the dentist? It had a cavity in its sweet tooth.
84. What did the onion say when it was asked to give a speech? “I’m not sure what to say. I’m a little teary-eyed.”
95. Why did the onion get into the chicken coop? It wanted to peck around with the chickens.
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Overall, onions provide endless possibilities for puns and jokes. Whether you’re looking for a good laugh or just a clever conversation starter, onions are a great source of humor. So the next time you’re in the kitchen, don’t be afraid to use your onion-y wit and have some fun!