100+ Funny Nun Jokes

Nuns are often depicted as serious and devout women who have dedicated their lives to serving God. However, there are many funny stories and jokes about nuns that portray them in a more lighthearted and humorous way.

These jokes range from innocent puns to more risqué humor and have been passed down through generations. While some may find them inappropriate or offensive, others see them as a way to inject some humor into a traditionally serious topic.

In this blog post, we will explore some of the funniest nun jokes and stories that have become part of popular culture.

Funny Nun Jokes Clean

1)Why did the nun join the basketball team?  She heard they had a good habit.

2)  What do you call a nun who sleepwalks?  A Roamin’ Catholic.

3)  Why did the nun go to art school? She wanted to become a nun-artist.

4)  Why did the nun put her brother in a blender?  Because she wanted to make holy water.

5)  How do you make a nun swear?  Ask her to tell you what she really thinks.

6)  What did the nun say when she saw the elephant?  “Holy cow!”

7)  Why did the nun cross the road?  To get to the other convent.

8)  How do you know if a nun is feeling sick?  She’ll be a little convent-ional.

9)  What do you get when you cross a nun and a bulldog?  A holy terror.

10)  Why did the nun join the basketball team?  Because she heard they had habit-forming drills.

11)  How do you make a nun laugh?  Tell her a joke about priests.

12)  What do you call a group of nuns playing basketball?  A convent-ional team.

13)  Why did the nun bring a ruler to bed?  To see how long she slept.

14)  How does a nun keep her hair in place?  With holy hairspray.

15)  Why do nuns always travel in pairs?  One to keep an eye on the other and make sure she doesn’t get into any habits.

16)  What did one nun say to the other nun while they were in the bath? “Where’s the soap, Sister?”

17)  Why don’t nuns wear make-up? Because they already have a heavenly glow.

18)  Why did the nun bring a ladder to church?  Because she wanted to get closer to heaven!

19)  What do you call a nun who sleepwalks?  A roamin’ Catholic!

20)  Why did the nun join the police force?  Because she wanted to catch some soul!

21)  What do you call a nun with a cold?  A friar!

22)  How do you know if a nun is awake?  She’s got her eyes wide open!

23)  Why did the nun cross the road?  To get to the other prayer!

24)  What do you call a nun who loves to skateboard?  Sister Ollie!

25)  Why did the nun take up gardening?  She wanted to be closer to the Garden of Eden!

Funny Nun Jokes Dirty

Nuns have always been an object of fascination and humor for many people. Their unique way of life and their dedication to serving God has inspired countless jokes and one-liners.

If you are looking for a good laugh, here are some hilarious nun jokes that are sure to tickle your funny bone.

26)  What is black and white and rolls down a slope? A nun tumbling down.

27)  Have you ever wondered what a nun in heaven is called?  It’s a celestial sister.

28)  What do you label a sleepwalking sister of the church?  A wandering Catholic.

29)  How would you name a devout lady who works in your workplace? None of your concern.

30)  Do you know the number of females who have held the position of pope?  Not even one, nun.

31)  Why did the visually impaired nun stumble into the well?  She had poor vision.

32) How would you refer to a nun riding a bicycle?  A virgin mobile.

33)  How many nuns does it require to replace a light bulb?  None, they prefer candles.

34)  What would you call oysters cultivated by nuns?  Cloisters’ harvest.

35)  What is the relationship status of nuns?  Nun.

36)  How do nuns answer multiple-choice questions? They choose “nun of the above.”

37)  What did the priest say while standing with the nun at the salad bar?

“Let us pray.”

38)  What is a nun called when she sleepwalks? A roamin’ Catholic.

39)  What do you call a monastery run by women?  A non-profit organization.

40)  What is a nun’s favorite weapon? Nun-chucks.

41)  How does a nun respond when she doesn’t want to answer questions?  “It’s none of your business.”

42)  What is a group of nuns with swords called?  Nun-jas.

43)  What do nuns call their cell phones?  Virgin Mobile.

44)  How did the nun react when she couldn’t believe what was happening? “This is nun-believable!”

45)  What did the priest say to stop the nuns from spraying perfume?  “We must stop these nun scents.”

46)  What type of books do nuns typically read?  Nun-fiction.

47)  How much money do nuns have? Nun.

48)  Who is the Bible character without parents?  Joshua, son of Nun.

49)  Why did the nun go to the airport dressed in her habit?  She heard her ticket was cross-country.

50)  How do nuns surf the internet? They use the pray-per-view.

51)  What do you call a group of nuns in a sauna?  Virgin daiquiris.

52)  Why did the nun become a butcher?  She wanted to get in touch with her inner meat.

Funny Catholic Nun Jokes

They may be irreverent and sometimes controversial, but they are guaranteed to make you laugh out loud. Whether you are a practicing Catholic or just someone who enjoys a good laugh, These Nun Jokes are sure to tickle your funny bone.

53)  Why did the church hire extra security guards?  To ensure that nuns are safe.

54)  Why was the nun expelled?  She had a filthy habit.

55)  What is a common trait between a person with a lisp and a nun?  They both have a fondness for the Faith book.

56)  What is underneath a nun’s habit? Nun-apparel.

57)  What kind of beverages do nuns prefer?  Nun-intoxicating.

58)  Which group of children do nuns assist?  Nun-disadvantaged.

59)  Why can’t a nun contradict a priest?  He is nun-contestable.

60)  How do you describe a unique convent for nuns?


61)  What do you call a non-functional nun?  Nun-operational.

62)  What name do you give to an unprecedented nun attire? Nun-heard-of.

63)  In Star Wars, which character best represents a nun?  Nun Skywalker.

64)  How does a nun grab everyone’s attention?  She makes an a-nun-cement.

65)  What fruit is most favored by nuns?  Nun-berry.

66)  What do you call a leading nun?


67)  What is the term for a nun who does the same task repetitively? Stag-nun-ant.

68)  What would a nun major in if she went to college?  Religious Studies would be her preferred course of study.

69)  Why do nuns travel in pairs?  To have a companion and provide support during their journey.

70)  Why was the new nun feeling unwelcome?  She was not warmly welcomed into the convent by the other sisters.

71)  What do you call two nuns who are not related?  Unrelated nuns.

72)  How did the nun remain unaware of her illness for so long?  Her illness went undiagnosed for years.

73)  Why is it inappropriate to touch a nun?  Out of respect for her religious vows, touching a nun is not acceptable.

74)  What is a flag with a nun on it called?  A nun-adorned flag.

75)  What do you call a nun who is not wearing her habit?  A non-inhabited nun.

76)  Why are nuns so predictable? Their daily routines and activities are highly structured as part of their religious practice.

Funny Jokes About Nuns

77)  Two nuns and a worker walk onto a football field. Result?  Two tight-ends and a wide receiver!

78)  How many Catholic nuns are required to replace a lightbulb?  Only one.

79)  What’s the contrast between a nun and a woman taking a bath?  One has hope in her heart, while the other has soap in her private parts.

80) Why do nuns wear the same outfit every day?  Just because it’s their uniform.

81) How do you cure a nun’s hiccups? Tell her she’s pregnant!

82)  What is the meaning of innocence? A nun working in a condom factory believing she’s producing sleeping bags for mice.

83)  What do you refer to as a nun who sleepwalks?  A wandering Catholic.

84)  What do you call a nun who has undergone reassignment surgery? A trans-sister.

85)  What’s black and white and red and struggles to enter through a revolving door?  A nun with a spear piercing her head!

86)  Why do nuns confess their sins?  To cleanse their souls.

87)  What is a nun wearing a veil called while flying?  A flying sister.

88)  What did the nun say while sewing?  I am addicted to this.

89)  How can you make a nun happy?

By showing kindness and love.

90)  Why do nuns use medicinal marijuana?  For pain relief.

91)  What is a nun in a wheelchair called?  A mobile sister.

92)  What is a naked nun called?  One without a habit.

93)  What do you call a nun sleepwalking?  A wandering sister.

94)  Why are nuns creatures of habit? Because they follow strict routines.

95)  What do you call a priest dressed as a nun?  A cross-dresser.

96)  What can you say about nuns? They are devoted to their faith.

97)  Why do nuns wear black clothing?

It’s their traditional attire.

Funny Nun One Liners Jokes

Laughing Our Way to Heaven Nuns have always been known for their piety, devotion and strict adherence to religious rules and regulations. However, they are also known for their sense of humor, which often comes in the form of one-liner jokes.

98)  Why did the nun join the army? She wanted to wear a habit with a camouflage pattern.

99)  Why did the nun go to the airport every day?  She was hoping to join the convention.

100)  Why did the nun cross the road? To get to the other bride.

101)  What do you call a nun who’s also a lawyer? A sister-in-law.

102)  Why don’t nuns wear bras? God supports them.

103)  How do you know if a nun is awake? She’s counting her beads.

104)  Why did the nun refuse anesthesia during her surgery? She wanted to keep her habit.

105)  What’s a nun’s favorite type of music? Gregorian chant.

106)  Why did the nun join the police force?  She wanted to catch the Father Time thief.

107)  What did the nun say when she walked into the bar?  “I have a confession to make.”

108)  Why did the nun use a ruler on her computer?  She wanted to measure the nun-pixels.

109)  What do you call a nun who’s a great singer?  A nun of your business.

110)  Why did the nun wear a helmet while mowing the lawn?  Safety habits.

111)  What do you call a nun who’s a lawyer?  A sister-in-law.

112)  Why did the nun refuse to go on a rollercoaster ride?  She couldn’t kick the habit.

113)  What do you call a nun who’s a great athlete?  A holy roller.

114)  Why did the nun study the Old Testament?  She wanted to learn how to raise Lazarus.

115)  What do you call a nun who’s a great chef?  The holy grill.

116)  Why did the nun wear a watch on her ankle?  She wanted to be a timekeeper.

117)  What do you call a nun who’s a great skateboarder?  Sister Ollie.

118)  Why did the nun take up archery? She wanted to learn how to aim for heaven.

119)  What do you call a nun who’s a great dancer?  Sister Disco.

Final Thoughts

While some may find the concept of funny nun jokes to be controversial or offensive, it is clear that they have remained a popular form of humor for many people. Whether it is the absurdity of imagining nuns behaving in humorous ways or the use of religious imagery to poke fun at societal norms, funny nun jokes have a unique appeal.

However, it is important to remember that humor should never come at the expense of others, and it is always necessary to be mindful of the impact that our words and jokes can have on those around us.

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