Kick Off the Laughs with 110+ Football Kicker Jokes

Kickers in football often find themselves in a unique position on the field, both revered and occasionally the subject of playful ridicule. While they may not receive as much attention as other players, their role in securing crucial points for their team is undeniable. Behind the powerful kicks and game-winning field goals lies a world of humor and camaraderie that only those brave enough to face the pressure of the goalposts truly understand. So, let’s dive into the world of football kicker jokes, where wit meets the art of precision kicking, and where laughter is the best way to celebrate a perfectly executed kick.

Funny Football Kicker Jokes

1. If a football kicker wins the game, I volunteer as tribute for the Punter Games.

2. I heard football kickers want to make the goalposts as narrow as their aim.

3. It’s official! A soccer ball now has more black spots than a football kicker’s accuracy.

4. The football kicker is such a successful investor… in the laughing stock market.

5. The football kicker is so dumb, he thinks “offside” is the choice faced by quarterbacks at the line of scrimmage.

6. The football kicker’s accuracy is receding faster than the turf on the 50ard line.

7. The football kicker hates wind, the punter hates rain, the coach hates overtime, and the fans hate missed field goals.

8. That awkward moment when you actually want to vote for the football kicker as team captain.

9. If I wanted to mess up a game, I’d aim for the football kicker’s ego and miss by his IQ.

10. The football kicker loves the “poorly executed plays” so much that when he’s on the field, there will be more of them than ever.

11. How can a football kicker be so hostile to uprights when he himself can’t hit them?

12. The football kicker wants to control the game even though he can’t control his follow-through.

13. I heard the football kicker wants to bench all the underperforming players… Great, when does he leave?

14. The greatest trick the football kicker ever pulled was to miss wide right and convince the coach it was the wind’s fault.

15. The football kicker became captain and started combating missed field goals, annihilating touchbacks, and zapping blocked kicks.

16. Unfortunately, in the morning, the dream was over.

17. The football kicker has been counting his fans as supporters. 

18. No wonder why he thinks they’re in the thousands.

19. Kickercare: If you like your game-winning kicks, you can keep your game-winning kicks.

20. The football kicker wants to build a great net between the goalposts… and if he does, then the punter will need one too.

Famous Football Kickers Jokes

21. If the football kicker had a sense of humor, he would die laughing after watching his own highlight reel.

22. The only reason the football kicker cares about the fan vote (and claims millions of votes) is because it has the word “kick” in it.

23. Whoever said scoring field goals can’t buy happiness simply hasn’t felt the rush of splitting the uprights.

24. When I have perfect kicking form, I have nothing to improve. When I miss a kick, I want every coaching tip available.

25. Touchbacks are not the root of all evil, shanked punts are.

26. Can I buy you a Gatorade, or do you just want the points on the scoreboard?

27. A lot of footballs are deflated. ‘Taint fair and ‘taint right.

28. One football said to the other, our love doesn’t make field goals, it makes touchdowns.

29. Change is inevitable, except from the referee’s spot on a questionable call.

30. Missed extra points are God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.

31. Points can be lost in more ways than won.

32. Always borrow kicking tees from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.

33. When you’re a kicker, always spend your offseason wisely because it’s common sense.

34. The other day I went to the football field and this old coach asked if I could check his technique, so I kicked him into a perfect spiral.

35. If scoring touchdowns is the root of all evil, then why do they cheer for it in the stadium?

36. If time is touchdowns, are kickoffs time machines?

37. Love is like a game-winning field goal, not with money but with your foot.

38. You can always get field goals back, but you might not get your starting position back.

39. If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for touchdowns, I’d just laugh and challenge them to a kicking competition.

40. If I had a dollar for every time the opposing team tried to ice me, I’d be in the Hall of Fame.

41. What did the field goal posts say to each other? Field goal jokes are priceless, at least that’s my two points on it.

42. A young kicker walks into a bar with a roll of footballs taped inside the crotch of his pants. 

43. He looks around, then sits next to the most attractive cheerleader there.

44. Why did the football kicker refuse to buy drinks at the bar? Because he said, “I’d rather kick it than sip it!”

45. Football kickers and money have something in common – they both have a tendency to disappear when you need them the most.

46. You know you’re a football kicker when you consider every goal post your own personal ATM – Always Taking Money.

Famous Football Kickers Jokes

Hilariously Funny Football Jokes

47.  How can you prevent the Detroit Lions from entering your front yard? Erect a field goal post.

48.  What similarity exists between the Atlanta Falcons and possums?  They both play dead when at home and meet their demise on the road.

49.  Do you know what sets apart the Dallas Cowboys from a dollar bill?  You can still obtain four quarters from a dollar bill.

50.  Why do 49ers fans have a strong odor?  So that even blind people can despise them.

51.  In what way are Nebraska and marijuana alike?  Both are consumed through smoking in a bowl.

52.  What was the average score of a Patriot player on the Wonderlic test? Drooling.

53. What commonality exists between Billy Graham and the Jacksonville Jaguars?  Both have the ability to make seventy thousand people exclaim “Jesus Christ!”

54.  Why did the football team visit the bank?  To acquire its QUARTERBACK.

55.  What is a large gathering of Raiders fans referred to as?  Prison.

56.  What would a fan of the Minnesota Vikings do after their team wins the Super Bowl?  They would turn up their PlayStation 3.

57.  How many San Francisco 49ers fans does it take to change a light bulb?  None. Lava lamps never burn out!

58.  If a tornado strikes Chicago, where would you seek shelter?  The Art Institute of Chicago—where art protects against the storm.

59.  What do you call a brilliant mind surrounded by Texas A&M students? An intellectual oasis.

60.  Why are Corn Husker football players attracted to intelligent women?  They appreciate the beauty of brains.

61.  What is a Baltimore drug organization known as?  The Circle of Euphoria.

62.  How are a Raiders fan and a bottle of beer alike?  Both are hollow vessels waiting to be filled with purpose.

63.  What do you call fifty-three millionaires gathered around a TV watching the Super Bowl?  The Elite Viewing Society.

64.  Why do pigeons fly upside down over Ford Field?  They seek alternative viewpoints to inspire their flight patterns.

65.  What sets apart a Dallas Cowboys fan from a baby?  The baby outgrows its fussiness, while the fan remains committed through ups and downs.

Football Kicker Jokes One Liner

66. The football game at Capital Hill was quite the spectacle.  Despite the woeful defense exhibited by the Patriots, they remarkably triumphed over the Raiders.

67.  Why did the football kicker bring a ladder to the game?  Because he wanted to kick field goals on a higher level!

68.  Why did the football kicker go to art school?  Because he had a knack for making masterpieces…on the goalposts!

69.  How do you make a football kicker laugh?  Just tell him to imagine the goalposts as a clown’s face!

70.  Why was the football kicker so good at math?  Because he knew all about angles and how to kick it through the uprights!

Football Kicker Jokes One Liner 1

71.  Why did the football kicker take up gardening?  He wanted to kick the ball and watch it ‘seed’!

72.  How did the football kicker become a professional golfer?  He realized that kicking a football and swinging a club had a lot in ‘common’!

73.  What’s a football kicker’s favorite type of music?  Heavy ‘kick’ metal!

74.  Why did the football kicker bring a pillow to the game?  In case he needed to ‘soften’ the blow of missing a field goal!

75.  Why did the football kicker bring a ladder to the game?  Because he wanted to kick field goals from a higher level!

76.  Why did the football kicker wear two different shoes?  So he could kick with his best foot and his “second best” foot!

77.  What do you call a football kicker who becomes a chef?  A “boot”camp graduate!

78.  Why did the football kicker start a gardening business?  Because he wanted to specialize in “field goals” and “kick offs”!

79.  How do football kickers like to relax?  They kick back and watch their favorite movies!

80.  What did the football kicker say to the ball before making a kick?  “You’re about to have a kickin’ good time!”

81.  Why was the football kicker always confident?  Because he had a lot of “kick”-self-esteem!

82.  What’s a football kicker’s favorite type of music?  Heavy “kick”-metal!

83.  What do you call a football kicker who loves to dance?  The “toe”-tapping kicker!

84.  Why did the football kicker take up gardening?  Because he wanted to kick some grass!

85.  Why was the football kicker such a great comedian?  Because he always had good delivery!

86.  Why did the football kicker bring a ladder to the game?  Because he wanted to kick it up a notch!

87.  Why did the football kicker join a band?  Because he had a great foot for rhythm!

88.  What do you call a football kicker who can’t make a field goal?  A wide left comedian!

89.  What is the similarity between the Atlanta Falcons and chameleons?  They both pretend to be lifeless at home and get crushed on the road!

90.  How can you ensure the Detroit Lions stay away from your front yard? Erect some goalposts.

91.  What sets apart the Dallas Cowboys from a dollar bill?  A dollar bill can still yield four quarters.

92.  What occurred to the wisecrack that Carson Wentz shared with his receivers?  It sailed right over their heads.

93.  Why do 49er fans have such a pungent odor?  So even blind people can despise them.

94.  What resemblance does Nebraska share with a bowl of marijuana?  Both go up in smoke.

95.  How are the Jacksonville Jaguars and Billy Graham alike?  They can both rouse 70,000 individuals to stand up and shout, “Jesus Christ!”

96.  Why are numerous Seattle Seahawks players claiming they have the Swine Flu?  So they can avoid handling the pigskin!

Football Kicker Puns

97.  Some dream of it, we strive for it.

98.  We scoured the depths of the internet, but no rivals could we find.

99.  True contentment reveals the cessation of progress.

100.  A team first and foremost. Above all, a unified team.

101.  Deeds resonate louder than the words of coaches.

Football Kicker puns 1

102.  Winners train, while losers lament.

103.  The disparity between champions and underachievers is minute.

104.  Our determination, our effort, your tears.

105.  We sense the scent of fear.

106.  Intensity is not a fragrance to be worn!

107.  Bad habits resemble a comfortable bed – easy to slip into, but difficult to break free from.

108.  “When it comes to kicking, I’m the ‘toe-tal’ package!”

109.  “I’m the ‘toe-talitarian’ when it comes to controlling the flight of the ball.”

110.  Championships are forged when the stands stand empty.

111.  Your parents come to witness my performance.

112.  Seven football-free days render one feeble.

113.  The ultimate victory lies within oneself.

Final Thoughts

Football kicker jokes can bring laughter and light-heartedness to the game of football. They serve as a way to lighten the atmosphere and provide a moment of entertainment for players and fans alike.Whether you are a football enthusiast or simply enjoy a good joke, take a moment to explore our collection of football kicker jokes and bring a smile to your face.

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