90+ Best Jokes About Gardening

Gardening is a wonderful hobby that allows you to get in touch with nature, soak up some vitamin D, and watch your hard work blossom into beautiful flowers or delicious vegetables.

But even the most dedicated gardeners need to take a break and have a good laugh. That’s why we’ve compiled a collection of jokes about gardening that are sure to make you chuckle.

Funny Jokes About Gardening

1.   Why did the gardener plant a light bulb?

He wanted to grow a power plant!

2.    Why did the gardener bury his money in the garden?

He wanted his money to grow on trees!

3.   What do you call a lazy kangaroo gardener?

A pouch potato.

4.  Why did the grapevine break up with the oak tree?

It was tired of being a sapling.

5.   Why did the gardener plant a seed in his ear?

 He wanted to grow an ear of corn.

6.   Why did the gardener plant a light bulb?

 He wanted to grow a power plant!

7.   Why did the gardener bury all of his money in the soil?

He wanted to make his assets grow!

8.   What did the grape say when it got pruned?

“Ouch, that was grape abuse!”

9.   Why did the gardener plant a seed on his computer?

He wanted to grow a website!

10.   What did one plant say to the other when it asked for help?

“You’re really rooting for me!”

11.   Why don’t ghosts like gardening?

Because they don’t want to be rooted to one spot.

12.   What do you call a group of cows gardening?

A moooooving garden!

13.   What do you call a lazy gardener?

 A plant manager.

14.   Why did the tomato turn green?

Because it was green with envy.

15.   Why do cows love gardening?

Because they have a lot of moo-lah to invest!

16.   What do you call a garden that grows money?

 A cash crop!

17.   Why did the gardener quit his job?

Because the celery was just too stalky.

Funny Jokes About Gardening

Jokes About Gardeners

Gardening can be a great way to spend time outdoors, get in touch with nature, and grow your own fruits and vegetables. But it can also be a source of frustration, especially when things don’t go according to plan.

That’s where a good sense of humor comes in handy. Here are some jokes about gardening that are sure to make you laugh.

18.   Why did the gardener go to jail?

Because he was caught with a bunch of pot.

19.   What do you call a gardener who is always angry?

A sourgrass!

20.   Why did the tomato turn red?

 Because it saw the gardener taking its picture!

21.   What do you call a gardener who talks to his plants?

A plant whisperer!

22.   What’s a gardener’s favorite kind of math?

Division, because they love to divide and conquer!

23.   Why did the gardener plant his seeds in alphabetical order?

So he could keep track of his peas and cues!

24.   Why did the gardener put his plants in jail?

They were charged with photosynthesis!

25.    Why don’t gardeners like to tell jokes?

They always weed themselves out!

26.   What do you call a group of gardeners who love to sing?

A trellis choir!

27.   What did the gardener say to the flower bed?

“Hey bud, how’s it growing?”

28.   Why did the gardener plant his vegetables so close together?

So they could have a pea party!

29.    Why did the gardener quit his job at the fruit stand?

He couldn’t make enough green!

30.   What do you call a gardener who always wears sunglasses?

A shade-tree mechanic!

31.   Why did the gardener start a compost pile?

To soil his reputation!

32.   Why did the gardener plant a clock in his garden?

Because he wanted to grow a timepiece!

33.   What did the gardener say when he saw his plants wilt?

“Water you doing?”

34.   Why did the gardener go to jail?

 He was caught with a bunch of pot!

35.     Why did the gardener go to the dentist?

 He had a root canal!

36.    What do you call a gardener who loves to dance?

A salsa verde!

37.   What do you call a gardener who is also a musician?

 A string bean!

38.   Why did the gardener bury his money in the garden?

 He wanted to grow rich!

39.   What do you call a gardener who’s also a ninja?

 A grassassin!

Jokes About Gardeners

Jokes About Gardens

Gardening is a beloved hobby for many people. There’s something so satisfying about getting your hands dirty, nurturing plants, and watching them grow.

But sometimes, even the most dedicated gardeners need a good laugh. That’s where jokes about gardening come in! Here are a few gardening jokes to tickle your funny bone:

40.   How do you make a gardener angry?

Take away his rake and hoe.

41.   Why did the gardener water his money?

 Because he wanted to grow rich.

42.   Why did the gardener quit his job?

He couldn’t get a raise.

43.    Why did the gardener bring a ladder to the garden?

To plant high seeds!

44.   Why did the gardener plant a light bulb?

He wanted to grow a power plant!

45.   What do you call a lazy gardener?

 A plant manager.

46.   Why did the gardener quit his job?

He just couldn’t get down to earth with his boss.

47.   What do you get when you cross a flower and a dog?

A collie-flower!

48.   What do you call a garden filled with lots of vegetables?

 A salad bar!

49.   What do you call a vegetable that insults you?

A snarky choke.

50.   Why don’t gardeners ever have trouble with math?

Because they know how to use their abacus.

51.   What do you call a garden that’s been well-tended?

 A well-oiled green machine.

52.   What do you call a garden that’s filled with lawyers?

A lawsuit waiting to happen.

53.   Why did the gardener plant a light bulb?

 He wanted to grow a bright idea.

54.   How do you make a plant grow taller?

Put a lampshade on its head!

Jokes About Flowers and Gardens

Gardening is a wonderful hobby that allows you to get in touch with nature, soak up some vitamin D, and watch your hard work blossom into beautiful flowers or delicious vegetables.

But even the most dedicated gardeners need to take a break and have a good laugh. That’s why we’ve compiled a collection of jokes about gardening that are sure to make you chuckle.

55.   What do you call a flower that’s not feeling well?

A little under the weather.

56.   Why did the gardener plant a money tree?

He wanted to grow some green.

57.   What do you call a flower that’s always running late?

A slow-bloomer.

58.   Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing!

59.   Why did the gardener bury his money in the garden?

He wanted to have rich soil.

60.   What did the soil say to the seed?

“Hey, you grow girl!”

61.   Why did the plant break up with his girlfriend?

 Because he wanted to branch out.

62.   What do you call a garden that grows only candy?

 A sweet pea patch.

63.   What did the tree say to the squirrel?

“Leaf me alone!”

64.  Why did the tomato blush?

Because it saw the salad dressing.

65.   Why did the gardener plant his seedlings in the middle of winter?

He wanted to grow a snow pea.

66.   Why did the gardener plant his money in the flower bed?

He wanted to watch his wealth grow.

67.  What do you call a gardening tool that’s always in a hurry?

A rush-hoe.

68.   Why did the sunflower stop following the sun?

 Because it saw a field of sunflowers and decided to stay put.

Jokes About Flowers and Gardens

Funny Gardening Jokes

69.   What’s the difference between a gardener and a chemist?

 A chemist plants things in test tubes, while a gardener plants things in the dirt!

70.   Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field!

71.  What do you call a plant that loves to party?

A photosynthesizer!

72.  What do you call a lazy gardener?

 A hoe-tato!

73.   Why did the gardener quit his job?

Because he couldn’t get a raise!

74.   Why did the gardener plant a seed in his ear?

He wanted to grow an ear of corn.

75.   Why did the gardener go to the doctor?

 He had a case of hoe-itis.

76.  Why did the gardener quit his job?

 It was just too rooted in tradition.

77.   Why did the gardener bury his money in his garden?

He wanted his money to grow!

78.   Why was the gardener always so happy?

 Because he had a plant to look forward to.

79.  What do you call a lazy gardener?

 A plant manager.

80.   Why did the gardener bury his money in the garden?

To have rich soil.

81.   What do you get when you cross a gardener and a baker?

 Flour power.

82.   What do you call a garden that’s always on the move?

A roamin’ garden.

Funny Garden Jokes

83.   Why did the gardener bury his money in the garden?

Because he wanted his money to grow on trees!

84.   Why do plants hate math?

Because it gives them square roots!

85.   What do you call a lazy kangaroo who loves gardening?

A pouch potato!

86.   Why did the gardener plant light bulbs?

He wanted to grow a power plant!

87.   What did the lettuce say to the celery?

Quit stalking me!

88.   What is a tree’s favorite drink?

Root beer!

89.   Why do watermelons have fancy weddings?

Because they are cantaloupe!

90.   Why did the gardener go to the bank?

To get his soil checked!

91.   What do you call a gardening tool that talks?

A hoes-petal!

Clean Jokes About Gardening

92.”Why do gardeners make terrible comedians? Because they’re always digging up old jokes!”

93.”What did the tomato say to the cucumber in the garden? ‘Stop dill-ing around!'”

94.”Why was the math book sad in the garden? Because it had too many problems!”

95.”Why did the gardener bring a ladder to the garden? Because they wanted to plant some ‘high’ seeds!”

95.”Why did the scarecrow become a successful gardener? Because he was outstanding in his field!”

96.”What do you call a gardener who tells jokes about plants? A ‘corn-y’ comedian!”

97.”Why don’t gardening tools ever go to school? Because they’re already ‘grounded’!”

Garden Jokes For Adults

98.”Why did the gardener bring a ladder to the garden party? Because they heard the drinks were on the house!”

99.”What’s a gardener’s favorite type of music? Heavy metal – it helps the plants grow!”

100.”Why did the tomato turn red at the garden party? Because it saw the salad dressing!”

101.”I told my friend a garden joke, but it was too dirty…so I had to ‘weed’ it out!”

102.”Why did the gardener start a band? Because they wanted to ‘rock’ the garden!”

103.”What’s a gardener’s favorite part of a book? The ‘table of contents’!”

104.”My neighbor is a gardener, and he’s always ‘soil-icious’ about his prized roses!”

Humorous Gardening Stories

105.”Once, a novice gardener planted some ‘magic’ beans they bought online. To their surprise, the beans grew into a beanstalk overnight. They climbed it, met a giant, and learned that sometimes it’s better to stick to the local nursery.”

106.”A gardener had an ongoing battle with a mischievous squirrel that kept stealing their tomatoes. They decided to dress up as a scarecrow to protect the crop but ended up scaring away the neighbors instead!”

107.”A gardening enthusiast spent hours meticulously arranging their garden gnomes in perfect rows. One night, they heard a commotion outside and found the gnomes engaged in a ‘gnome disco’ party.”

107.”A gardener was determined to grow the world’s largest pumpkin. They played classical music, sang to it, and even read Shakespearean sonnets. The pumpkin grew huge, but it turned out to be a ‘ham’ instead!”

108.”A gardener tried to create a butterfly-friendly garden but ended up with a ‘caterpillar paradise.’ The butterflies loved it, but the gardener felt like they were running a ‘caterpillar daycare.'”

109.”A gardener had a ‘green thumb’ but a ‘black thumb’ for technology. They accidentally watered their plants with a hose connected to a vacuum cleaner, giving a whole new meaning to ‘sucking up water.'”

110.”In an attempt to deter rabbits, a gardener decided to build a scare-rabbit figure instead of a scarecrow. But instead of scaring away rabbits, it attracted them for what looked like a ‘bunny convention.'”

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Final Words

We hope these jokes about gardening have brightened up your day and put a smile on your face. Remember, even if your garden doesn’t always turn out perfectly, there’s always a good joke to make you feel better. Happy gardening!