Are you looking for something a little softer than jokes? Something that will make you smile without making you laugh out loud? Well, look no further. We’ve got just what you need.
At Softer Than Jokes, we provide content that’s sure to make you giggle, smile, and feel good. Our content is a little less jokey and a little more on the sweet and lighthearted side. Think of it as a bit of a break from the regular jokes and gags that you’re used to seeing.
Funny Softer Than Jokes
1. What becomes softer as it gets harder to handle?
A problem.
2. What was Paul Revere’s complaint after his long ride?
My behind needs a break!
3. What do cell division and escaping from jail have in common?
They both involve splitting away from confinement.
4. How does a hippo differ from a Zippo?
One weighs a ton, the other just a little.
5. What sets your advice apart from ice cream?
I crave one, not the other.
6. What sets apart a shabbily dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bike?
Their attire.
7. How are humans different from frogs?
Frogs croak all the time, while humans only do it once.
8. How does love differ from marriage?
Love is blind, but marriage opens your eyes.
9. What separates a good idea from a bad one?
Your judgment.
10. What distinguishes ignorance from apathy?
I don’t know, and I don’t care.
11. What sets a $20 steak apart from a $55 one?
The date on the calendar.
12. How does a cat differ from a comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
13. What distinguishes a man from a computer?
You only need to tell a computer what to do once.
14. What’s the difference between a scratch-and-sniff book and a spellbook?
One is a book of smells, the other a book of spells.
15. What separates a house from a mansion?
$13 million.
16. How does a liar differ from the Grinch?
One lives in a world of lies, the other in a fictional world.
17. How does a $20 ring differ from a $200 one?
The severity of your mistake.
You Softer Than Jokes
18. What did the blanket say when it felt rejected?
I’m feeling a little down, under.
19. Why did the programmer quit his job?
He didn’t get arrays.
20. Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get out of its shell and explore some new territory!
21. What did the jumper cable say to the battery?
“I’ve been getting a little bit of charge out of you lately!”
22. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
23. Why did the pirate go to the doctors office?
To get his boo-ty checked!
24. Why did the pirate go to counseling?
Because he needed some anger ARRR-management!
25. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An Investigator.
26. How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it!
27. Why do carbonated beverages always lose in basketball games?
Because they can’t handle the fizz.
28. What is the tiniest state for soft drink sizes in the U.S.?
MiniSoda
29. Why do the numbers 8, 9, and 10 frequently consume snacks and soda?
Because they reside in the 7/11 area code.
30. What drink do pirates enjoy the most?
Arrr Sea cola
31. Why did Pavlov’s hair feel so silky?
Because he conditioned it so well.
32. What do you name a body of water with gentle, smooth composition?
Lake Flaccid
33. What’s a supple, malleable part of the body that is often darker in color?
Your pupil.
34. What is firm when untouched, moist when chewed, and soft after use?
Chewing gum.
35. What do you call the delicate tissue located between a shark’s teeth?
A sluggish swimmer.
36. Why are dragon plush toys typically cuddly and soft?
Because they’re not made to scale.
37. What carbonated beverage does Moses prefer?
Mountain Jew.
38. Which U.S. state is known for its tiny soda sizes?
Minnesota!
Funny Slicker Than Sayings
39. Life’s too funny for its own good.
40. Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.
41. Don’t be average, be a little bit out of the ordinary.
42. A fool and his money are soon partying.
43. “Life isn’t all fun and games, but it should be.”
44. “Even if you don’t win first place, at least look like you did on purpose!”
45. “It’s not always about being the best – sometimes just having fun is enough”
46. “If it’s not broken, don’t fix it. If it is broken… find another way to do it.”
47. “Life is what happens while you’re making other plans.”
48. “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade! And don’t forget to add some sugar!”
49. “If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em! If you still can’t beat ’em, switch teams.”
50. “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When it hands out storms – just dance!”
51. “If nothing goes right… go left!”
52. “Where there’s life, there’s a chance at happiness!”
53. “The work smarter and not harder mantra will get you through life.”
54. “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”
Best Softer Than Jokes
55. How do you make a Kleenex dance?
Put some music in it!
56. Why did the programmer take so long to debug their code?
Because every time they spotted an error they had to recompile.
57. Why did the programmer quit his job?
He didn’t get arrays!
58. What did the blanket say when it saw a shivering person?
Hold me closer, tiny dancer.
59. What did one computer say to another?
Is that you or your better half running programs.?
60. Did you hear the one about the computer programmer who thought NaN was a number?
He expected it to be an integer, but ended up getting nothing!
61. What did the tape measure say to the ruler?
“Hey, get a life.”
62. What did the soft pillow say after a long day?
“Oh, I’m soooooo fluffy.”
63. What did the blue dinosaur say when he left his house?
“I’m out of this world!”
Best Softer Than Jokes One Liners
64.”Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!”
65.”I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.”
66.”Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”
67.”Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.”
68.”I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.”
69.”I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!”
70.”I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.”
Best Softer Than Jokes for Adults
69.”I used to be a baker, but I quit. I couldn’t make enough dough to cover my expenses, and my life was getting crusty.”
70.”I tried to lose weight, but it just kept finding me. Maybe I should start leaving a trail of salad instead of breadcrumbs.”
71.”I told my boss I needed a raise because I’m always at my desk, working my fingers to the bone. He said, ‘That’s why we gave you a keyboard!'”
72.”My friend asked me if I wanted to hear a construction joke, but I’m still building up the courage to listen.”
73.”I thought about going on a diet, but then I remembered I’m on a seafood diet: I see food, and I eat it!”
74.”I told my wife she’s drawing her eyebrows too high, but she just looked at me with surprise. Now she has high standards.”
75.”I was going to tell a time-travel joke, but you guys didn’t like it. So, I’ll save it for yesterday!”
Softer Than a Sayings Funny
76.”Softer than a marshmallow at a campfire roast.”
77.”As gentle as a kitten’s purr on a Sunday morning.”
78.”Calm as a cucumber in a spa day bath.”
79.”Smoother than a well-buttered pancake.”
80.”Like a pillow fight with feathers made of laughter.”
81.”Lighter than a cloud in a tickle fight.”
82.”Happier than a squirrel with a secret stash of acorns.”
She Is Softer Than You
83.”She is softer than you when it comes to sharing the last piece of chocolate.”
84.”Her heart is softer than you’d believe, always lending a helping hand.”
85.”She is softer than you when it comes to forgiving and forgetting.”
86.”In a world of tough choices, she is softer than you, always choosing kindness.”
87.”Her smile is softer than you could ever imagine, brightening up even the gloomiest days.”
88.”When it comes to patience, she is softer than you, waiting with a gentle grace.”
89.”She is softer than you in her love for the little things in life, finding joy in simplicity.”
Final Thoughts
It can be said that the concept of ‘Softer Than Jokes’ is one that offers a fresh, humorous, and positive perspective on life. It offers a chance to step away from our routine and to focus on the lighter side of life.
It may not always be easy to find joy in the day-to-day, but the idea of ‘Softer Than Jokes’ can help bring a much-needed smile to anyone’s face.
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