Are you looking for something a little softer than jokes? Something that will make you smile without making you laugh out loud? Well, look no further. We’ve got just what you need.
At Softer Than Jokes, we provide content that’s sure to make you giggle, smile, and feel good. Our content is a little less jokey and a little more on the sweet and lighthearted side. Think of it as a bit of a break from the regular jokes and gags that you’re used to seeing.
Funny Softer Than Jokes
1. What becomes softer as it gets harder to handle?
A problem.
2. What was Paul Revere’s complaint after his long ride?
My behind needs a break!
3. What do cell division and escaping from jail have in common?
They both involve splitting away from confinement.
4. How does a hippo differ from a Zippo?
One weighs a ton, the other just a little.
5. What sets your advice apart from ice cream?
I crave one, not the other.
6. What sets apart a shabbily dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bike?
Their attire.
7. How are humans different from frogs?
Frogs croak all the time, while humans only do it once.
8. How does love differ from marriage?
Love is blind, but marriage opens your eyes.
9. What separates a good idea from a bad one?
Your judgment.
10. What distinguishes ignorance from apathy?
I don’t know, and I don’t care.
11. What sets a $20 steak apart from a $55 one?
The date on the calendar.
12. How does a cat differ from a comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
13. What distinguishes a man from a computer?
You only need to tell a computer what to do once.
14. What’s the difference between a scratch-and-sniff book and a spellbook?
One is a book of smells, the other a book of spells.
15. What separates a house from a mansion?
$13 million.
16. How does a liar differ from the Grinch?
One lives in a world of lies, the other in a fictional world.
17. How does a $20 ring differ from a $200 one?
The severity of your mistake.
You Softer Than Jokes
18. What did the blanket say when it felt rejected?
I’m feeling a little down, under.
19. Why did the programmer quit his job?
He didn’t get arrays.
20. Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get out of its shell and explore some new territory!
21. What did the jumper cable say to the battery?
“I’ve been getting a little bit of charge out of you lately!”
22. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
23. Why did the pirate go to the doctors office?
To get his boo-ty checked!
24. Why did the pirate go to counseling?
Because he needed some anger ARRR-management!
25. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An Investigator.
26. How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it!
27. Why do carbonated beverages always lose in basketball games?
Because they can’t handle the fizz.
28. What is the tiniest state for soft drink sizes in the U.S.?
MiniSoda
29. Why do the numbers 8, 9, and 10 frequently consume snacks and soda?
Because they reside in the 7/11 area code.
30. What drink do pirates enjoy the most?
Arrr Sea cola
31. Why did Pavlov’s hair feel so silky?
Because he conditioned it so well.
32. What do you name a body of water with gentle, smooth composition?
Lake Flaccid
33. What’s a supple, malleable part of the body that is often darker in color?
Your pupil.
34. What is firm when untouched, moist when chewed, and soft after use?
Chewing gum.
35. What do you call the delicate tissue located between a shark’s teeth?
A sluggish swimmer.
36. Why are dragon plush toys typically cuddly and soft?
Because they’re not made to scale.
37. What carbonated beverage does Moses prefer?
Mountain Jew.
38. Which U.S. state is known for its tiny soda sizes?
Minnesota!
Funny Slicker Than Sayings
39. Life’s too funny for its own good.
40. Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.
41. Don’t be average, be a little bit out of the ordinary.
42. A fool and his money are soon partying.
43. “Life isn’t all fun and games, but it should be.”
44. “Even if you don’t win first place, at least look like you did on purpose!”
45. “It’s not always about being the best – sometimes just having fun is enough”
46. “If it’s not broken, don’t fix it. If it is broken… find another way to do it.”
47. “Life is what happens while you’re making other plans.”
48. “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade! And don’t forget to add some sugar!”
49. “If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em! If you still can’t beat ’em, switch teams.”
50. “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When it hands out storms – just dance!”
51. “If nothing goes right… go left!”
52. “Where there’s life, there’s a chance at happiness!”
53. “The work smarter and not harder mantra will get you through life.”
54. “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”
Best Softer Than Jokes
55. How do you make a Kleenex dance?
Put some music in it!
56. Why did the programmer take so long to debug their code?
Because every time they spotted an error they had to recompile.
57. Why did the programmer quit his job?
He didn’t get arrays!
58. What did the blanket say when it saw a shivering person?
Hold me closer, tiny dancer.
59. What did one computer say to another?
Is that you or your better half running programs.?
60. Did you hear the one about the computer programmer who thought NaN was a number?
He expected it to be an integer, but ended up getting nothing!
61. What did the tape measure say to the ruler?
“Hey, get a life.”
62. What did the soft pillow say after a long day?
“Oh, I’m soooooo fluffy.”
63. What did the blue dinosaur say when he left his house?
“I’m out of this world!”
Final Thoughts
It can be said that the concept of ‘Softer Than Jokes’ is one that offers a fresh, humorous, and positive perspective on life. It offers a chance to step away from our routine and to focus on the lighter side of life.
It may not always be easy to find joy in the day-to-day, but the idea of ‘Softer Than Jokes’ can help bring a much-needed smile to anyone’s face.
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