Get ready to shell out some laughter with our collection of Lima bean jokes. These amusing jokes are sure to tickle your funny bone, whether you’re a fan of these little green legumes or just love a good pun. From witty one-liners to clever wordplay, our collection will have you laughing until you’re bean-sides yourself. So, get ready for a healthy dose of humor as we explore the lighter side of Lima beans. It’s time to plant a smile on your face with our hilarious Lima bean jokes!
Funny Lima Bean Jokes
1. It was so lima bean-y that chefs were holding up pictures of beans instead of thumbs!
2. Starbucks started serving coffee on a lima bean stick!
3. People with a craving for a snack would plead guilty and beg for a lima bean buffet!
4. The rats were bribing the alley cats with lima beans for a snuggle!
5. I wish school was as easy as cooking lima beans – just boil and serve!
6. Wishing your GPA looked like a lima bean’s calorie count!
7. If teachers are so smart, why aren’t they teaching us how to properly cook lima beans?
8. That awkward moment when an emo kid goes to a restaurant and orders a lima bean salad.
9. Hey Google, why don’t you join me for a lima bean cooking class instead of helping me with my homework?
10. If sleep is really good for the brain, then why isn’t it allowed in lima bean cooking class?
11. To steal lima bean recipes from one cookbook is plagiarism. To steal from many is culinary research!
12. My lima bean soup brings all the foodies to the yard, and they’re like, “It’s so healthy and hearty!”
13. That awkward moment when you try to impress your date by cooking lima beans, but they turn out like rocks.
14. It was so lima bean-y that chefs were holding up pictures of beans instead of thumbs, hoping for a delicious meal!
15. When I called the lima bean hotline, a recorded message said to come back in the spring for fresh harvests!
16. The optician was giving away free lima bean peelers with every new pair of eyeglasses!
17. Kids were using a new excuse to avoid eating lima beans: “But Mom, my taste buds haven’t thawed out yet!”
18. Richard Simmons started incorporating lima beans into his workout routines!
19. A streaker froze in mid-run, and the town council just stuck a lima bean plaque on him and pretended he was a statue until spring.
20. UN inspectors suddenly decided that the key to world peace might be hidden in a lima bean field!
Clean Lima Beans Jokes
21. Pickpockets were sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to feel for a lima bean snack!
22. The squirrels in the park were throwing themselves at the lima bean bushes, hoping for a tasty treat!
23. Starbucks started serving lima bean latte on a stick, giving customers a unique way to enjoy their favorite legume beverage!
24. The Lima Bean Emergency Hotline was buzzing to get the cooking competition started!
25. When we parked the bean cart, we had to either plug in the beans or keep them rolling in place!
26. The bar was entered by the passive Lima Bean.
27. The past, present, and future of lima beans walked into a kitchen. It was bean time!
28. A synonym strolled into a salad bar.
29. A lima bean and a lentil entered a restaurant, ordering a meal to munch.
30. A lima bean hyperbole stormed into the grocery store, clearing out the produce section!
31. A run-on sentence wandered into a café, hungry for some beans.
32. Falling slowly, softly falling, the lima bean chiasmus tumbled onto the salad bowl.
33. Yo momma loves lima beans so much, she’s social distancing from other veggies!
34. I cracked a lima bean , but it took a while for everyone to shell out a laugh. Eventually, they all got it.
35. Lima beans are hilarious when you’re feeling bean-tastic!
36. Lima beans are spreading faster than you can shell them!
37. Lima beans are rapidly becoming a -demic in the comedy world.
38. That awkward moment when you wake up and everyone else is more antisocial than a lima bean at a party.
39. Lima beans last forever, just like everything “grown in grandma’s garden.”
40. If lima beans don’t fill you up, being stuck at home with a lima bean casserole surely will.
Spongebob Lima Beans Jokes
41. Why did Spongebob refuse to eat lima beans? Because he was afraid they might make him sing the Lima Bean song!
42. Why did Mr. Krabs get angry with Spongebob when he offered him lima beans? Because Mr. Krabs thought Spongebob was trying to steal his precious money-making secret!
43. Why did Plankton think he could steal the Krabby Patty secret formula by offering Spongebob lima beans? Because Plankton thought Spongebob would be too distracted by the lima beans to notice he was up to no good!
44. Why did Squidward think Spongebob’s lima beans were better than his clarinet playing? Because the lima beans were less likely to make people’s ears bleed!
45. What did Gary the Snail do when Spongebob tried to feed him lima beans? Gary slid away in disgust, leaving Spongebob to ponder the question: “Do snails even like lima beans?”
46. Why did Sandy the Squirrel challenge Spongebob to a lima bean eating contest? Because she was convinced she could eat more lima beans than Spongebob and claim the title of “Lima Bean Queen!”
47. What do you get when you mix Spongebob with lima beans? A side dish that’ll leave you in stitches!
48. Why did Spongebob take a bunch of lima beans to the beach? He wanted to have a fun food fight!
49. Did you hear about the time Spongebob tried to use lima beans to power his pineapple home? Let’s just say it didn’t end well – he ended up with a bean-shaped hole in his roof!
50. What’s the best way to cook lima beans for Spongebob? Under the sea, of course! Just add some sea salt and plankton for extra flavor.
51. Why did Patrick refuse to eat Spongebob’s lima bean casserole? He said it tasted like “something out of the Krusty Krab dumpster” – yikes!
52. Why did Spongebob give up on eating lima beans? Because he couldn’t deal with their beanliness!
53. Why did Spongebob eat a bowl of Lima Beans? Because he wanted to be a “beanie-weenie!”
54. What do you call a Lima Bean that’s lost its shell? A naked Lima Bean, of course!
55. Why did Patrick refuse to eat Lima Beans? Because he thought they tasted “bean-y!”
56. How many Lima Beans does it take to make a pot of soup? At least a dozen, otherwise it’ll just be a “soupy Lima mess!”
57. What do you get when you cross Spongebob with a lima bean? A Bikini Bottom dweller that always makes sure to have a side of greens!
58. Why did Sandy go on a lima bean cleanse? Because she heard it would give her super strength! (Plus, Spongebob made a really convincing pitch about the health benefits).
59. What do you call it when Spongebob’s pet snail eats all the lima beans in Bikini Bottom? A slime bean heist!
60. How does Squidward feel about lima beans? He thinks they’re just okay – he’d rather have a clarinet solo than a veggie dish!
Best Lima Beans Jokes
61. Giving people lima beans is no longer a bland gift, it’s a nutritious surprise!
62. Please tell my friends it’s the lima bean love and not the quarantine that’s keeping me at home.
63. I had a lima bean nightmare where I couldn’t stop eating them. It was the beaniest dream ever.
64. The 2020 lima bean boom will give rise to the Quran-beans.
65. Dear grocery shoppers, you cannot eat toilet paper, but you can certainly enjoy a hearty lima bean stew!
66. Lima bean jokes went viral faster than a beanstalk in a fairy tale.
67. This is the only time you can tell a lima bean and not get bean-boozled.
68. Lima beans don’t make you cool, they make you full.
69. How many lima beans would a woodchuck munch if a woodchuck could chomp on beans?
70. Freedom doesn’t exist if lima beans are illegal.
71. Are you a lima bean? Because I’d love to bean-sprout with you tonight.
72. Always take your driver’s license picture after eating lima beans, so when you get pulled over, the cop will think you always look like that.
73. God is perfect. Man is not. Man made alcohol. God made lima beans.
74. What if Instagram instantly gave you a lima bean for every like?
75. If someone could convince Justin Bieber to drive Amanda Bynes and Lindsay Lohan off a cliff, we could kill two beans with one stone.
76. People who love lima beans are just so chill.
77. I’m not religious, but I worship Lima Jane.
78. If I ate as many lima beans as I smoked weed, I’d be a lima bean bush by now.
79. Dig a little hole, plant a little seed, wait a little while, smoke a little lima bean.
80. I’d rather have a world of lima bean enthusiasts than alcoholics.
Lima Bean Puns
81. What do you call a lima bean that’s been in the sun too long? A baked bean.
82. What do you call a lima bean that’s been in the water too long? A floater.
83. Why did the lima bean get a job as a security guard? Because he was a legume of interest.
84. What do you call a lima bean with a bad attitude? A sour pea.
85. Why did the lima bean cross the road? To get to the other pod.
86. What do you call a lima bean that’s been to the gym? A buff bean.
87. What do you call a lima bean that’s been to the dentist? A bean with a pearly white pod.
88. What do you call a lima bean that’s been to the spa? A bean with a smooth and silky pod.
89. What do you call a lima bean that’s been in a car accident? A smashed pea.
90. What do you call a lima bean that’s been in a fire? A roasted bean.
91. What do you call a lima bean that’s been in a bad mood? A moody bean
92. What do you call a lima bean that’s been in a fight? A bean with a black eye.
93. What do you call a lima bean that’s been in a car accident and has amnesia? A bean with a split pea.
94. What do you call a lima bean that’s been in a fire and has lost its hair? A bald bean.
95. What do you call a lima bean that’s been in a flood? A bean with a soggy pod.
96. What do you call a lima bean that’s been to the library? A well-read bean.
97. What do you call a lima bean that’s been to the zoo? A bean with a wild side.
98. What do you call a lima bean that’s been to the movies? A bean with a good sense of pod.
99. What do you call a lima bean that’s been to the beach? A bean with a sandy pod.
100. What do you call a lima bean that’s been to the mountains? A bean with a lofty goal.
101. Why did Patrick refuse to eat lima beans with Spongebob? Because he doesn’t like anything that isn’t pink or chocolate flavored.
102. What’s Spongebob’s favorite way to cook lima beans? Bikini Bottom style – he boils them in salty seawater until they’re as tender as jellyfish tentacles!
Stand Up Comedian Lima Bean Jokes
103. I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow these lima beans down.
104. Don’t get high… stay bean’d!
105. If she can cook lima beans perfectly, wife that lady.
106. UNDER the influence, but ABOVE the ignorance of not appreciating lima beans.
107. Got busted with lima beans once and the cop asked me to give up my source. I said “Mother Nature.”
108. I’m not addicted to lima beans, but I eat them like I am.
109. Gas prices may be high, but I am definitely higher on lima beans.
110. If cooking lima beans isn’t an art, then why do they call me the Picasso of the bean pot?
111. I wish lima beans were as easy to cook as half the veggies in the garden.
112. Wishing my lima bean soup looked as rich as those celebrity chefs’ bank accounts.
113. If lima beans are so nutritious, why do they still hang out in the garden instead of going to school?
114. That awkward moment when a lima bean walks into a fast-food joint and orders a Happy Meal.
115. Hey, why don’t you sit next to me during my lima bean cooking competition?
116. If relaxation is really good for the soul, then why isn’t it permitted in lima bean kitchens?
117. If you create a lima bean cooking camp, is it considered a concentration camp for foodies?
118. If a lima bean stew looks delicious on the outside, why shouldn’t we judge its flavor by its aroma?
119. To steal lima bean recipes from one cookbook is plagiarism. To steal from many is culinary research.
120. My lima bean casserole brings all the foodies to the yard, and they’re like, “It wasn’t that bland.”
121. That awkward moment when you move to a new kitchen and don’t find a vampire boyfriend among the veggies.
Lima Bean Jokes One Liners
122. Why did the Lima bean go to the gym? It wanted to be a well-toned legume!
123. What do you call a Lima bean that tells jokes? A pun-inta!
124. Why are Lima beans such good listeners? They never interrupt with a shellfish comment!
125. What did the Lima bean say to the corn during their argument? “You’re just a-MAIZE-ing me!”
126. How do Lima beans navigate through the city? They use their “Lima-dar”!
127. Why did the Lima bean refuse to play cards? It didn’t want to be a “bean counter”!
128. What’s a Lima bean’s favorite type of music? Pod-rock!
129. What do you call a Lima bean that’s late for work? A slow-poke!
130. Why did the Lima bean bring a ladder to the party? It wanted to “bean” the life of the party!
131. What do Lima beans do when they win a race? They “bean” their competition!
132. Why did the Lima bean blush? It saw the salad dressing!
133. How do Lima beans greet each other? They say, “Hey there, pod-ner!”
134. What’s a Lima bean’s favorite dance move? The legume-lt!
135. Why was the Lima bean so quiet? It was trying to keep a low “pro-pea”!
136. What’s Lima bean’s favorite superhero? The Green Bean-tern!
137. Why did the Lima bean get a ticket? It was caught jay-beaning!.
138. What did the Lima bean say to the chickpea? “You’re a-pea-ling to me!”
139. How do Lima beans keep their money safe? They put it in the “bean”k!
140. What did the Lima bean say to the tomato? “You’re looking vine today!”
141. Why did the Lima bean become a magician? It wanted to “bean-dazzle” everyone!
142. How do Lima beans stay in shape? They exercise with “legum-batics”!
143. What did the Lima bean say to the pea? “You’re my split-pea!”
144. Why did the Lima bean take up gardening? It wanted to “bean” closer to nature
Some Final Talk
In conclusion, while Lima beans may not always steal the show in the culinary world, they certainly take center stage when it comes to providing comedic fodder. From their humble beginnings on dinner plates to their starring roles in punchlines and puns, Lima beans have proven themselves to be versatile subjects for humor. So whether you’re a die-hard fan of these legumes or simply appreciate a good laugh, let’s raise a toast (or a bean) to the unsung heroes of vegetable comedy. After all, in a world where laughter is the best seasoning, Lima beans are always in season!
