Looking for a good laugh? Check out these jokes about lizards! Whether you’re a lizard lover or not, these jokes are sure to put a smile on your face. From puns to dad jokes, there’s something for everyone. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the show!
Lizards are fascinating creatures that have been around for millions of years. They come in all shapes and sizes, from tiny geckos to massive Komodo dragons.
But did you know that lizards can also be the subject of some hilarious jokes? In this article, we’ll take a look at some of the funniest jokes about lizards that are sure to make you laugh.
Funny Jokes About Lizards
1. What do you call a lizard with a lisp?
A “thalamander”!
2. Why did the lizard refuse to play the game?
Because it was a “skink”erbell!
3. How do you know if a lizard is a good listener?
It nods its head like a “gecko”!
4. Why did the lizard go to the doctor?
It had a “tail”bone fracture!
5. How does a lizard communicate with its friends?
It sends them “tongue”twisters!
6. What’s a lizard’s favorite sport?
“Croak”et!
7. Why do lizards always win at poker?
Because they’re “scales”men!
8. What’s a lizard’s favorite subject in school?
“Hisss”tory!
9. What do you call a group of lizards playing music?
A “reptile” band!
10. Why did the lizard go to the beach?
To catch some “rays”!
11. Why did the lizard wear a tuxedo?
Because it was a “reptile” at a fancy party!
12. What do you call a lizard with a bad temper?
A “hot” head!
13. How do you make a lizard laugh?
You tell it a “tail”!
14. Why did the lizard cross the road?
To get to the “bask”etball court!
15. What did the lizard say when it was caught stealing?
“Iguana” get away with this!
16. Why did the lizard join the circus?
It wanted to be a “juggle”r!
17. What do you call a lizard that’s always on time?
A “prompt” tailed skink!
18. Why did the lizard wear a cowboy hat?
It was a “reptile” at a rodeo!
19. How do you know if a lizard is happy?
It does a little “tail” dance!
20. What do you call a lizard that’s always causing trouble?
A “scaly” wag!
Jokes About Lounge Lizards
Lizards may not be the first animal that comes to mind when you think of comedy, but they can certainly provide some laughs.
From their slithery movements to their unique appearances, there are plenty of opportunities to crack jokes about these scaly creatures. So, without further ado, let’s dive into some of the best jokes about lizards!
21. Why did the lounge lizard refuse to leave the bar?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
22. What did the lounge lizard say to the bartender?
“I’ll have a scotch and soda, and make it snappy. I’ve got a hot date with a fly later.”
23. Why did the lounge lizard cross the road?
To get to the other bar.
24. How do you make a lounge lizard laugh?
Just tell him a good tail.
25. What do you call a group of lounge lizards?
A reptile dysfunction.
26. Why did the lounge lizard get kicked out of the club?
He kept hissing at the bouncers.
27. What do you get when you cross a lounge lizard with a comedian?
A crocodile Dundee.
28. Why did the lounge lizard wear a tuxedo?
He was going to a black tie affair.
29. What do you call a lounge lizard who can’t hold his liquor?
A tequila mockingbird.
30. How many lounge lizards does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they prefer to keep things dim and cozy.
31. Why did the lounge lizard go to the doctor?
He had a reptile dysfunction and needed a check-up.
32 . What do you call a lounge lizard who’s a little too clingy?
A gecko stalker.
33. What do you call a lounge lizard who’s always up for a good time?
A party animal.
34. How does a lounge lizard spend his weekends?
Lounging around, of course.
35. Why did the lounge lizard get into a fight with the alligator?
He said his jokes were snappier.
36. What do you call a lounge lizard who’s also a con artist?
A reptile scam artist.
37. How does a lounge lizard pick up a lady?
He flashes his scales and says, “Hey, babe, wanna feel my smooth skin?”
38. What do you call a lounge lizard who’s also a detective?
A crocodile investigator.
39. How does a lounge lizard like his coffee?
Strong and black, just like his scales.
40. Why did the lounge lizard start a band?
He wanted to make some reptile dysfunction music.
Funny Lizard Jokes
Are you ready to laugh your scales off? Look no further than these hilarious jokes about lizards!
41. Why did the lizard go to the bar?
To get a newt-ini.
42. What do you call a lizard that sings and plays the guitar?
A rock gecko.
43. How do you know if a lizard is good at math?
It can count its own scales.
44. Why did the lizard become a lawyer?
It wanted to be a legalized.
45. What do you call a group of lizards playing instruments?
A band of geckos.
46. Why don’t lizards like to play basketball?
They always get stuck on the foul line.
47. What do you call a lizard with an excellent sense of humor?
A comedi-gator.
48. What do you call a lizard with a lot of tattoos?
A skink with ink.
49. Why did the lizard break up with his girlfriend?
She was a real cold-blooded reptile.
50. What do you get when you cross a lizard and a kangaroo?
A jumpin’ dragon.
51. How do you catch a lizard?
Climb up a tree and act like a fly.
52. What do you call a lazy lizard?
A lounge-i-guana.
53. Why did the lizard join a gym?
To work on his scales.
54. What do you call a lizard that has lost its tail?
A tail-less monster.
55. What do you call a lizard that loves to dance?
A tango-lizard.
56. Why did the lizard go on a diet?
It wanted to look good in its new skink-tight outfit.
57. What do you call a lizard that’s always trying to sell you something?
A reptile marketer.
58. How do you know if a lizard is feeling sad?
It has a reptile dysfunction.
59. What do you get when you cross a lizard and a turtle?
A slow-moving dragon.
60. Why don’t lizards wear shoes?
They prefer repti-sandals
Best Jokes About Lizards
61. Why did the lizard cross the road?
To get to the reptile store on the other side!
62. What do you call a lizard that sings?
A croak-awoke singer!
63. How do you know if a lizard is a good dancer?
It has a great reptile rhythm!
64. Why did the lizard go to the doctor?
It had a reptile dysfunction!
65. What do you call a lizard with a big ego?
A reptile narcissist!
66. How do you catch a sneaky lizard?
With a reptile trap!
67. What do you call a group of lizards that play music together?
A reptile band!
68. Why did the lizard become a stand-up comedian?
It had a great sense of reptile humor!
69. How do lizards communicate with each other?
They use their reptile tongues!
70. What do you call a lizard that does magic tricks
A reptile illusionist!
71. Why did the lizard go to the dentist?
It had a reptile cavity!
72. What do you call a lizard that is always daydreaming?
A reptile-dreamer!
73. How does a lizard measure its tail?
It uses a reptile tape measure!
74. Why did the lizard join the gym?
It wanted to get reptile-fit!
75. What do you call a lizard that loves to cook?
A reptile chef!
76. How does a lizard celebrate its birthday?
It throws a reptile party!
77. Why did the lizard refuse to play cards?
It was afraid of the reptile stakes!
78. What do you call a lizard that is always on time?
A reptile-punctual!
79. How does a lizard keep its home clean?
It uses a reptile vacuum cleaner!
80. Why did the lizard go to the library?
It wanted to check out some reptile books
Reptile Jokes
Whether you love reptiles or just love a good laugh, these jokes are sure to make you smile.
So next time you’re in need of some humor, remember these jokes about lizards and share them with your friends and family. Who knows, you might even convert a few people into lizard lovers too!
81. Why don’t reptiles have good jobs?
Because they’re always hiss-terical.
82. What did the snake say when it was offered a piece of cheese?
“Thanksss, but no thanksss.”
83. Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the shell station.
84. Why do lizards do pushups?
To impress their lady friends.
85. What do you call a snake that works for the government?
A civil serpent.
86. Why do crocodiles always win at poker?
They have a killer hand.
87. Why was the gecko arrested?
For stealing car insurance.
88. What did the chameleon say when it couldn’t change color?
“I’m feeling a little reptile dysfunction.”
89. Why don’t snakes ever get lost?
They always know their scales.
90. How do you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?
You’ll see one later and one in a while.
90. Why did the turtle cross the beach?
To get to the shell-a.
91. What do you call a reptile with musical talent?
A rock lizard.
92. What do you call a turtle that flies?
A shell-in copter.
93. What do you call a group of turtles playing instruments?
A shell ensemble.
94. Why did the lizard go on a diet?
It wanted to look slimmer.
95. What do you call a snake that works for the zoo?
A history teacher.
96. Why did the alligator go to the bank?
To get a loan for a new purse.
97. What’s a snake’s favorite subject in school? Hiss-tory.
98. Why did the snake refuse to lend money to his friends?
He didn’t want to be hiss-tered
Some Final Talk
These jokes are just a small sample of the many hilarious lizards jokes out there. Whether you’re a fan of reptiles or just enjoy a good laugh, you’re sure to find something to chuckle about in this list.
So the next time you see a lizard, remember these jokes and share them with your friends for a good laugh. Who knows, you might even make some new reptile-loving friends in the process!
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