Get ready for a wild laugh with our hilarious possum jokes! These furry critters are the stars of our comedy show.
Brighten up your day with a barrel of laughs and a bunch of possum jokes that are sure to lighten the mood. Whether you’re a fan of these adorable critters or just in need of a good laugh, this collection is a must-read!
Best Possum Jokes
1. What do you call a possum who can play the guitar? Billy Stray-possum.
2. How does a possum make a phone call? On his o-possum-able.
3. Why did the possum bring a ladder to the bar? He wanted to hang out all night.
4. What did one possum say to the other possum at the party? “Let’s play possum and grab all the snacks!”
5. Why did the possum go to the dentist? He had a bad case of dec-opossum-posed teeth.
6. What do you get when you cross a possum and a kangaroo? A hop-py possum with a pouch.
7. Why did the possum bring a map to the nature park? He didn’t want to get possum-lost.
8. Why did the possum bring a watch to the movie theater? He wanted to keep track of when it was op-possum time.
9. What do you call a possum who loves to dance? A swing-possum.
10. How do you know if a possum has been using your computer? The mouse pad is covered in paw prints.
11. Why did the possum start a band? Because he had o-possum-tunity knocking on his door.
12. What’s a possum’s favorite kind of nut? A chest-nut.
13. Why did the possum become a stand-up comedian? Because he could always play deadpan.
14. What’s a possum’s favorite board game? Hide and seek-possum.
15. Why did the possum start a garden? He wanted to grow some o-possum flowers.
16. How do you catch a possum? Just act possum-tively irresistible.
17. What’s a possum’s favorite type of footwear? Flip-flops, because they allow for o-possum mobility.
18. Why did the possum go to the library? To check out some possum-nalities.
19. What do you call a possum who can solve complex math problems? A possum-tronaut.
20. Why did the possum go to the bakery? He wanted to buy some o-possum bread.
Pygmy Possum Jokes
Bring a smile to your face with a collection of hilarious pygmy possum jokes guaranteed to tickle your funny bone. Get ready for a wild ride through the world of these quirky critters!
21. Why did the Pygmy Possum bring a ladder to the party? Because it wanted to hang out with the big possums!
22. What do you call a Pygmy Possum that can play the piano? A possumophonist!
23. Why did the Pygmy Possum apply for a job at the bakery? It wanted to work with sugar gliders!
24. How do Pygmy Possums send secret messages? By using possum-grams!
25. What’s a Pygmy Possum’s favorite game? Hide and squeak!
26. What do you call a Pygmy Possum that loves to dance? A groovy glider!
27. Why did the Pygmy Possum go to school? To get a little extra knowledge in its pouch!
28. What do Pygmy Possums say when they’re surprised? “Oh, possum-tively!”
29. How do Pygmy Possums stay organized? They use a possum planner!
30. Why did the Pygmy Possum bring a backpack to the picnic? Because it wanted to pack-a-lunch!
31. What’s a Pygmy Possum’s favorite movie? “The Possum Father”!
32. How do Pygmy Possums navigate in the dark? They use their possum-pass!
33. Why did the Pygmy Possum start a band? It wanted to play some “possum tunes”!
34. What’s a Pygmy Possums favorite dessert? Possum pie, of course!
35. How do Pygmy Possums stay fit? They do “possumcise”!
36. What’s a Pygmy Possum’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop and pouch!
37. What did the Pygmy Possum say to its friend on a chilly day? “Let’s huddle for warmth!”
38. Why did the Pygmy Possum invite all its friends to the treehouse? It wanted a “possum party”!
39. How do Pygmy Possums greet each other? They say, “Hey, possum buddy!”
40. What did the Pygmy Possum order at the coffee shop? A mini macchiato!
41. Why don’t Pygmy Possums make good detectives? Because they always play possum when things get tough!
42. What do you call a Pygmy Possum that loves to tell jokes? A comedy glider
Funny Possum Jokes
43. What kind of possums roll the best? O-possums.
44. Why did the possum cross the road? To visit his flat mate.
45. What’s the difference between a possum and a raccoon ? A possum plays possum, and a raccoon plays the piano.
46. Why did the possum get fired from the bowling alley? He kept throwing trash in the gutters.
47. What do you call a possum that’s been in a fight? A bruised opossum.
48. Why did the possum cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
49. What do you call a possum that’s been in a car accident? Roadkill.
50. Why did the possum get lost in the library? He was looking for the fiction section.
51. What do you call a possum that’s been to the dentist? A toothless opossum.
52. Why did the possum quit his job at the bank? He was always putting things in the wrong account.
53. What do you call a possum that’s been to the movies? A scaredy opossum.
54. Why did the possum get arrested? He was caught shoplifting a can of tuna.
55. What do you call a possum that’s been to the circus? A clown opossum.
56. Why did the possum get a job as a waiter? He wanted to make tips.
57. What do you call a possum that’s been to the zoo? A caged opossum.
58. Why did the possum get a divorce? His wife was always playing possum.
59. What do you call a possum that’s been to the hospital? A sick opossum.
60. Why did the possum get fired from the daycare? He kept putting the kids to sleep.
61. What do you call a possum that’s been to the beach? A sandy opossum.
Funny Jokes About Possum
61. Why don’t possums like sharing secrets? Because they’re always playing dead!
63. What did the possum say to its friend? “So nice to hang out with you!”
64. How does a possum get to work? By playing possum-uter!
65. Why did the possum bring a map to the party? To avoid getting possum-lost!
66. What did the possum say when it saw a cheese platter? “This is o-possum-tively delightful!”
67. How do you make a possum smile? Just give it some “opossum-itivity”!
68. Why was the possum in the library? It was looking for some possum literature.
69. How does a possum clean its house? With a broom and lots of opossum elbow grease!
70. Why did the possum sign up for a yoga class? It heard it was good for playing dead poses!
71. What do you call a possum with great style? A fashionably-fur-ward possum!
72. What do you get when you cross a possum and a comedian? A laugh-a-possum.
73. How do possums like to celebrate their birthdays? With a possum-lutely awesome party!
74. Why did the possum thank the police officer? Because they helped it cross the road safely.
75. What kind of music do possums like? Anything they can hang by!
76. Why do possums make good therapists? They’re experts at playing dead and listening!
77. What did the possum say when it won an award ? “I guess all that possum-vation paid off!”
78. How did the possum become a detective? It was great at playing possum-trigation.
79. What’s a possum’s favorite dessert? Possumberry pie, of course!
80. Why did the possum start a band? It wanted to play some “possum-istic” tunes.
81. How does a possum win an argument? By playing dead serious!
82. What did the possum say after it finished a successful heist? “I guess I’m a master of playing possum-tivity!”
Possum Jokes One Liners
Possum jokes that are as unexpected as a midnight visit from our furry friends. Dive into the world of possum humor and prepare for a positively good time!
83. What’s a possum’s favorite game? Hide and go hiss!
84. Did you hear about the possum’s birthday party? It was a real “playing possum” affair!
85. Why do possums make terrible poker players? Because they’re always playing dead!
86. What do you call a possum with a gold medal? An opossum-ist!
87. How do possums keep their fur looking great? They use opossum conditioner!
88. How do possums make decisions? They flip a coin – heads, they play dead; tails, they play possum!
89. What’s a possum’s favorite musical instrument? The opossum-phone!
90. What do you call a possum who loves classical music? An opossum poser!
91. Why did the possum bring a suitcase to the party? Because it wanted to pack it with fun!
92. What did the possum say when it bumped into a tree? ” I’m just hanging out!”
93. Why did the possum start a band? Because it wanted to be a rock ‘n’ roll possum!
94. What’s a possum’s favorite board game? Hide and squeak!
95. How do possums like to relax? They play possum-tunes on their possum-phones!
96. What did one possum say to the other at the gym? “Let’s get fit and hang in there!”
97. Why don’t possums ever tell jokes? Because they’re afraid they’ll be playing deadpan!
98. What’s a possum’s favorite superhero? Spider-Opossum!
99. Why was the possum a great actor? Because it had a talent for “playing dead” on cue.
Dirty Possum Jokes
Possum jokes that are so funny, they’ll make you play dead with laughter! Explore our collection for a quirky twist on humor.
100. Why did the possum go to the dentist? It wanted an op-possum smile!
101. What did one possum say to the other possum? “I’m so glad we’re hanging out!”
102. Why did the possum bring a ladder to the party ? It wanted to be able to reach all the snacks!
103. How do possums play hide-and-seek? They pretend to be dead and wait for someone to find them!
104. What do you call a possum with a black belt in karate? A ninja-possum!
105. Why did the possum bring a pencil to the party? It wanted to be a sketchy possum!
106. How do you catch a possum? Act possum-tively irresistible!
107. What’s a possum’s favorite game show? “Who Wants to Play Dead?”
108. Why don’t possums like sharing secrets? Because they’re always playing dead!
109. What’s a possum’s favorite dance move? The Play-Dead Shuffle!
110. What did the possum say when asked about its favorite movie? “Gone in 60 Seconds!”
111. How does a possum get to work? By playing possum-uter!
112. What is a possum’s favorite accessory? A tail bow-tie!
113. Why did the possum bring a map to the park? It didn’t want to get possum-lost!
114. What do you call a possum party? A hang-out!
115. What’s a possum’s favorite book genre? Mystery novels, because they’re experts at playing dead!
116. How do you make a possum laugh? Just give it some “oposs um-itivity”!
117. What’s a possum’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good beat to hang by!
118. Why did the possum bring a pillow to the party? It wanted to have a comfy place to play dead!
119. What did the possum say when it saw its crush? “You make my heart play dead!”
Possum Puns Reddit
120. What do you call a possum that’s been to the zoo? A caged opossum.
121. What do you call a possum that’s been to the circus? A clown opossum.
122. What do you call a possum that’s been to the movies? A scaredy opossum.
123. What do you call a possum that’s been to the dentist? A toothless opossum.
124. What do you call a possum that’s been to the library? A bookish opossum.
125. What do you call a possum that’s been to the bowling alley? A gutter ball opossum.
126. What do you call a possum that’s been to the beach? A sandy opossum.
127. What do you call a possum that’s been to the hospital? A sick opossum.
128. What do you call a possum that’s been to the daycare? A nap time opossum.
129. What do you call a possum that’s been to the bank? A loan opossum.
130. What do you call a possum that’s been to the grocery store ? A hungry opossum.
131. What do you call a possum that’s been to the zoo and the circus? A well-rounded opossum.
132. What do you call a possum that’s been to the movies and the library? A cultured opossum.
133. What do you call a possum that’s been to the bowling alley and the beach? A well-traveled opossum.
134. What do you call a possum that’s been to the hospital and the daycare? A caring opossum.
135. What do you call a possum that’s been to the bank and the grocery store? A financially responsible opossum.
136. What do you call a possum that’s been to the moon? An astronaut opossum.
137. What do you call a possum that’s been to Mars? An interplanetary opossum.
138. What do you call a possum that’s been to the center of the Earth? An opossum spelunker.
139. What do you call a possum that’s been to the edge of the universe ? An opossum cosmonaut.
140. What do you call a possum that’s been everywhere? A world opossum.
Possum Knock Knock Jokes
141. Knock knock.
Who’s there? Possum.
Possum who?
Possum gravy on my mashed potatoes!
142. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Possum in a tree.
Possum in a tree who?
Possum in a tree, fallin’ asleep!
143. Knock knock.
Who’s there? Possum with a stick.
Possum with a stick who?
Possum with a stick, playing fetch!
144. Knock knock.
Who’s there? Possum in a box.
Possum in a box who?
Possum in a box, scared of the dark!
145. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Possum in a hat. Possum in a hat who?
Possum in a hat, ready to go to the beach!
Final Thoughts
Possum jokes offer a lighthearted and entertaining way to brighten up your day. Whether you find joy in the clever wordplay or simply appreciate the humor in these quirky critters, there’s no denying the laughter they bring.
From silly antics to humorous situations, possum jokes offer a unique and memorable comedic experience. we hope you had a good laugh After reading through all these hilarious Possum jokes.
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