140 + Knock Knock Retirement Jokes for the Golden Years

As retirees bid farewell to the daily grind and embrace the leisurely rhythm of life, knock-knock retirement jokes offer a delightful avenue for celebrating this newfound freedom. With a playful exchange of punchlines, these jokes bring a touch of humor to the retirement journey, highlighting the joys, quirks, and adventures that lie ahead. Whether shared at retirement parties or enjoyed among friends over a cup of coffee, knock-knock retirement jokes invite laughter and camaraderie as individuals embark on this exciting chapter of their lives. So, get ready to knock on the door of retirement humor and step into a world filled with smiles and chuckles.

Knock Knock Retirement Jokes Funny

1. Knock, knock!

Who’s there?


Olive who?

Olive to retire soon!

2.  Knock, knock!

Who’s there?


Harry who?

Harry up and retire already!

3.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Irish who?

Irish you a happy retirement!

4.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Alpaca who?

Alpaca the suitcase, I’m retired!

5.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Nobel who?

No bell ringing for me, I’m retired!

6.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Thank you.

Thank you for your service, it’s time for retirement!

7.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Boo who?

Don’t cry, I’m just retiring!

8.  Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

Cash who?

No, thanks. I’m retiring and have saved enough money!

9.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Lettuce who?

Lettuce enjoy retirement together!

10.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Dishes who?

Dishes on my last day of work, I’m retiring!

11.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Gladys who?

Gladys time for me to retire!

12.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Honey bee.

Honey bee who?

Honey bee good to me, I’m retiring!

13.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Wanda who?

Wandaful to be retired, that’s who!

14.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Al who?

Al will be retired soon, so let’s celebrate!

15.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Justin who?

Justin time for my retirement party!

16.  Knock knock.

Who’s there?


Ach who?

Bless you! Retirement can be a sneeze when you’re ready.

17.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Honey bee.

Honey bee who?

Honey bee retired, and now I’m free as a bird!

18.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Iva who?

Iva got plenty of time to enjoy my retirement!

19.  Knock, knock

Who’s there?


Retirement who?

Sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of my retirement account growing.

20.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Hatch who?

Bless you! I’m retiring so I won’t be around to hear your sneezes anymore.

Knock Knock Retirement Jokes Funny

Knock Knock Jokes About Retirement

21.  Knock, knock!

Who’s there?


Irish who?

I could retire today!

22.  Knock, knock!

Who’s there?


Thank you.

Thanks for the memories, it’s time to retire!

23.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Cash who?

No need to worry about cash now that I’m retired and living on my savings!

24.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Gladys who?

Gladys time to retire and start enjoying the fruits of my labor!

25.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Oscar who?

Oscar retirement party, anyone?

26.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Robin who?

Robin the bank and retiring early!

27.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Max who?

Max my 401k contributions and now I’m ready to retire!

28.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Yacht who?

Yacht to know, I’m retired and loving it!

29.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Owls who?

Owls well that ends well, I’m retired!

30.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Ruth who?

Ruthlessly retired and enjoying every moment!

31.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Floyd who?

Floyd retired like a boss!

32.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Homer who?

Home Run into retirement!

33.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


June who?

June-tired and loving it!

34.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Beryl who?

Beryl happy to be retired!

35.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Alma who?

Alma mater is calling you back now that you’re retired!

36.  Knock, knock!

Who’s there?


Retirement who?

Retirement is great, you can do whatever you want, just don’t ask me what that is yet.

37.  Knock, knock!

Who’s there?


Gladys who?

Gladys retirement finally came, it’s time to party!

38.  Knock, knock!

Who’s there?


Ben who?

Ben retired for years, and I’ve never been happier!

39.  Knock, knock!

Who’s there?


Beets who?

Beets me, I’m retired now and don’t have to keep up with all the latest vegetable trends.

40.  Knock, knock!

Who’s there?


Ivor who?

Ivor worked a day in my life since retirement, and it feels fantastic!

Knock Knock Jokes About Retirement

Retirement Knock Knock Jokes

41.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Ivan who?

Ivan is retiring, and it feels great!

42.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Wooden shoes.

Wooden shoe who?

Wooden shoes like to retire too?

43.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Mikey who?

Mikey is retiring, and he’s going to party like it’s his job!

44.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Gladys who?

Gladys time to retire and enjoy life!

45.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Hawaii who?

I want to retire to Hawaii and never leave!

46.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Max who?

Max out your retirement savings and enjoy your golden years!

48.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Nana who?

Nana your business, I’m retired!

49.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Olive who?

Olive to travel now that I’m retired!

50.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Pension who?

Pension is all I need to retire in style!

51.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Retire who?

Retired people like to enjoy my golden years now, please!

52.  Knock, knock!

Who’s there?


Greta who?

Great news!

53.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Professor who?

Professor you retired, you can finally grade papers in your PJs!

54.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Lecture who?

Lecture me retire so I can enjoy my golden years!

55.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Library who?

When you retire from the library, you can finally read all those books you’ve been meaning to!

56.  Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Campus who?

Campus on your doorstep now that you’re retired, explore and learn to your heart’s content!

Funniest Retirement Jokes

57.  What was the reason for the prostitute’s retirement?

She made a grave mistake.

58.  Why did the butcher decide to retire?

He was sliced out of the business.

59.  How can you know it’s time to retire?

When you start looking forward to the weekend on Monday.

60.  How do retirees spend their free time?

Traveling, reading, and pursuing hobbies they never had time for before.

61.  What are the benefits of retirement?

More time to spend with family and friends, pursue passions, and enjoy life.

62.  Why do retirees seem so content?

They have the freedom to do what they want, when they want, without the stress of work.

63.  What is the best age to retire?

It depends on individual circumstances, but generally, the earlier, the better.

64.  How can you prepare financially for retirement?

By saving regularly, investing wisely, and seeking professional advice.

65.  What is the biggest challenge of retirement?

Finding a sense of purpose and staying active and engaged in life.

66.  What is the key to a fulfilling retirement?

Staying physically and mentally healthy, maintaining social connections, and continuing to learn and grow.

67.  What time do retirees typically hit the hay?

Three hours after they’ve dozed off on the sofa.

68.  Why aren’t seniors bothered by being called seniors?

It’s because they get a discount of 10%.

69.  Why are there numerous elderly individuals in places of worship?

Perhaps they’re studying for their ultimate exam.

70.  Who are you planning on contacting?

 Pest controllers or fly swatters?

71.  What is the reason retirees have a perpetual smile on their faces?

They can’t hear anything you say!

72.   When does a retiree typically go to bed?

Three hours after dozing off on the sofa.

Funniest Retirement Jokes

Retirement Jokes for Adults

73.  How do you know you’re officially retired?

When you don’t know what day of the week it is, but it doesn’t matter anyway.

74.  Why did the retired person get a tattoo of their blood type on their arm?

Just in case they need a transfusion, but can’t remember whether they’re retired or not.

75.  Why do retirees count pennies?

Because they’re the only ones left in their piggy bank.

76.  Why do retirees wake up so early?

Because they have nothing to do all day and they want to get a head start on it.

77.  Why don’t retirees get bored?

Because they have a lot of time on their hands!

78.  How do retirees stay cool?

 They open the fridge and stand in front of it!

79.  What do you call a retired man who takes up gardening?

A senior citizen with a green thumb!

80.  Why did the retired couple decide to take up skydiving?

 They wanted to jump into their retirement with both feet!

81.  What do retirees do on weekends?

They forget what day it is!

82.  Why did the retired person go to the doctor?

 To get a prescription for more naps!

83.  What do retirees say is the best part of retirement?

 Every day is a Saturday!

84.  Why did the retired couple decide to move to Florida?

 Because they wanted to spend their golden years in a state of confusion.

85.  Why did the retiree cross the road?

To get to the other side of life.

86.  Why do retirees always seem to have trouble with technology?

Because they’re used to a simpler time when the only screen they had to worry about was the TV.

87.  What did the retired doctor say when asked if he missed his patients?

“No, but I do miss my copays!”

88.  How can you tell if someone is retired?

They’re the ones in the coffee shop who are reading the paper and complaining about how the world has changed.

89.  What do you call a retired person who still works?


90.  Why did the retired person start a new hobby?

 Because they realized they had a lot of time to kill, and they didn’t want to be the ones doing it.

91.  Why do retirees always say they’re busier than ever?

 Because they finally have time to do all the things they’ve been putting off for years!

Jokes About Retirees

92.  What is the message written on the cake for the retirement party at the government printing office?

This cake is intentionally unmarked.

93.  Why was the comedian cannibal unhappy about performing at retirement homes?

The audience was too difficult to please.

94.  How would you name a retirement home for detective squirrels?

Sherlock Squirrels’ Sanctuary.

95.  Retiring?

 I assumed you had already quit working ages ago.

96.  What do you label a person who’s related on Mondays?

A retiree!

97.  Why do retirees always seem to have a grin on their face?

They can’t hear anything you say!

98.  How many retirees does it take to switch a light bulb?

 Only one, but it could take an entire day.

99.  At what time does a retiree typically go to bed?

Three hours after dozing off on the sofa.

100.  When does a retiree hit the hay?

Three hours after dozing off on the couch.

101.  What’s the most common complaint among retirees?

 Not having enough time to finish everything.

102.  Why don’t retirees mind being called “seniors”?

 Because it usually comes with a  discount.

103.  What’s the formal dress code for retirees?

 Shoes with laces.

104.  Why do retirees bother counting pennies?

 They’re the only ones with time to spare.

105.  What do you call someone who loves working and refuses to retire?

 A nutcase!

106.  Why do retirees procrastinate clearing out the basement, attic, or garage?

They know their adult children will want to store things there as soon as they do.

107.  What’s a lengthy midday meal called among retirees?


108.  How would you describe retirement?

A never-ending tea break.

109.  What’s the biggest perk of going back to school as a retiree?

Nobody calls your parents if you skip class.

110.  Why do retirees often say they miss the people they used to work with, not the job itself?

They’re just being polite and not telling the whole truth.

Clean Retirement Jokes

111.  Retirement may be deadly, killing more than hard work ever could.

112.  Retirement is when you stop living for work and start working on your life.

113.  For Leonard Cohen, there was no sense of an end or retirement, just a continuous journey.

114.  Kitty O’Neill Collins believes that aging is the only way to live a long life.

115.  The reality of retirement is that you must put off being young until later in life.

116.  For Ella Harris, a retired husband can become a full-time job for his wife.

117.  Steve Young likens retirement to falling off a cliff, with the need to brush yourself off afterward.

118.  Chi Chi Rodriguez humorously suggests that a retired man’s wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.

119.  George Burns finds retirement at 65 ridiculous, as he still had pimples at that age.

120.  Robert Benchley feels as young as ever, aside from the occasional heart attack.

121.  Retirement can feel like trouble because you never get a day off, according to Abe Lemons.

122.  Children can be the leading cause of old age, as humorously suggested.

123.  Saving money and working hard can lead to enjoying the things of youth in old age.

Clean Retirement Jokes

124.  Old people should not be underestimated, as life imprisonment is no deterrent for them.

125.  Retirement can be wonderful, as it allows you to do nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.

126.  While money isn’t everything, it can help you stay in touch with your children.

127.  Be kind to your kids, as they may choose your nursing home one day.

128.  It’s best to start thinking about retirement before your boss does.

129.  Doris Day finds middle age frightening because she knows she’ll grow out of it.

130.  Retirement can be the best part of your job.

131.  Retirement is not the end of life, but it may be the end of your bank account.

132.  Every day can feel like Saturday in retirement, as humorously stated.

Short Knock Knock Retirement Jokes

133.Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Alpaca who?
Alpaca the vacation photos, I’m officially retired!

134.Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Juan who?
Juan more day of work left, and then I’m free for life!

135.Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ben who?
Been working for decades, but now I’m done!

136.Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash who?
Cash me outside, enjoying my retirement!

136.Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Olive who?
Olive the hard work is behind me now!

137.Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Arthur who?
Arthur any more 9-to-5, I’m retired!

138.Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Honeydew who?
Honeydew you know I’ve retired and now I’m chilling with fruit!

Retirement Jokes for Coworkers

139.To our coworker who’s retiring: Remember, retirement is not the end; it’s just the start of “Ctrl+Alt+Del” on life!

140.You’re leaving the 9-to-5 grind for the 24/7 unwind! Happy retirement, and may your days be filled with endless relaxation.

141.They say retirement is like a never-ending weekend. You’ve worked hard for it, so enjoy those weekdays off!

142.Congrats on your retirement! Your new title: “Professional Napper.”

143.Office meetings and deadlines are in your past now. From here on, your only decision is whether to have coffee or tea first.

144.Retirement is the time to trade your desk chair for a beach chair, your coffee mug for a cocktail glass, and your computer screen for a sunset view. Cheers to the good life!

145.Farewell to the office, hello to a lifetime of endless weekends. We’ll miss you at work, but we’re thrilled for the adventures retirement holds for you!

Final Thoughts

In conclusion, knock-knock retirement jokes provide a light-hearted and entertaining way to celebrate the transition into retirement. With their witty wordplay and humorous exchanges, these jokes capture the essence of this significant life milestone, offering laughter and camaraderie along the way. Whether enjoying a well-deserved break from the workforce or embarking on new adventures, retirees can find comfort and joy in the playful spirit of these jokes. So, as retirees embrace the next chapter of their lives, may they continue to find humor and happiness in every knock-knock joke that comes their way.

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