Score a goal in the laughter league with our Arsenal Jokes! From pitch-perfect puns to football follies, these jokes celebrate the highs and lows of supporting the Gunners. Get ready for a comedic match that will have you cheering, even during the offside moments.
Whether you’re a die-hard fan of the Gunners or just enjoy a good football laugh, these quips and jokes will keep you in high spirits. It’s game time for giggles!
Arsenal Football Jokes
21. Why do people instantly dislike Arsenal? It’s a shortcut to save time.
22. Why do Arsenal fans whistle in the toilet? To figure out which end to wipe, of course!
23. Why are Arsenal men drawn to smart women? Because opposites attract in the world of love.
24. How do you greet an Arsenal fan with a job? “Can I have a Big Mac, please?”
25. How do Arsenal fan’s brain cells perish? Alone, in isolation.
26. How do you brighten an Arsenal fan’s eyes? Shine a torch in his ears, and watch the glow.
27. Why shouldn’t Arsenal fans get a coffee break? Retraining them takes forever.
28. Why did the Arsenal fan get fired from the M & M factory? He kept tossing out the W’s.
29. What do you name a fly inside an Arsenal fan’s head?
A Space Invader, exploring unknown territory.
30. How long has Tony Adams played for Arsenal? Donkey’s years, a lifetime of dedication.
31. What’s common between Paul Merson and a can of Coca Cola? They’re both red, white, and full of fizz.
32. Why is the pitch at Highbury so green? They keep putting lots of… fertilizer on it.
33. What’s the difference between Paul Merson and George? One Charlie shoots, the other shoots Charlie.
34. What’s the difference between Jon Pertwee and Ray Parlour? Ray Parlour still resembles Worzel Gummidge.
35. What’s the distinction between ‘disciplinary’ and ‘football’ at Highbury? ‘Disciplinary’ is the only action associated with it.
36. How was your holiday in Israel? “Smashing!”
37. Why did God make Arsenal supporters smelly? So even blind people could join the laughter!
Arsenal Jokes 2024
38. What’s the fate of a Gunner Fan found in a closet? Last year’s champion of hide and seek, forever concealed.
39. How do you compliment a Gunners supporter with a stunning partner? “Nice tattoo,” you say, acknowledging both beauty and team loyalty.
40. How do you label an Arsenal fan excelling in an IQ test? A remarkable anomaly, possibly a cheat in disguise.
41. Why do homemakers adore Arsenal? For their enduring reign on top and impressive second-place skills!
42. What separates “disciplinary” from “football” at Highbury? “Disciplinary” holds the lone association with the word “action.”
43. Why do Arsenal fans remain wide awake during matches? The scent of their stadium keeps them alert and engaged.
44. What’s an Arsenal fan’s post-Champions League celebration ritual? They pack away their Play Stations, acknowledging the virtual triumph.
45. What’s common between a 3-pin plug and Arsenal FC in Europe? Both equally futile on the European stage.
46. Why was the Arsenal fan jubilant after winning the Community Shield? “I’m gunner, celebrate all night long!” was the ecstatic cry.
47. Ever heard about the EPL title party? Man City invited Arsenal to the Etihad for a 4-1 reason!
48. Why is the devil in high spirits? Even Jesus and Mohammed couldn’t secure a league win for Arsenal.
49. What attracts many housewives to Arsenal? Their enduring top position, even if it ends in second place.
50. What’s the similarity between Arsenal on the EPL table and an elephant atop a tree? No one knows how they got there, but the fall is anticipated.
51. How do you refer to a Spanish man with 11 pricks?
Mikel Arteta, the football jibe personified.
52. Why did Jesus join Arsenal? He aimed to be part of a team where everyone is named Gabriel.
53. Why did aliens choose to land in the Emirates? Because there’s no atmosphere, figuratively and literally.
54. What’s the issue with Martin Ødegaard? He wouldn’t shoot Hitler even if he had a gun, a testament to his reluctance.
55. What’s peculiar about The Gunner’s defeat to Man Utd?
With Jesus, Mohamed, and Ram on their side, they still lost to the devils.
56. Why should Arsenal FC’s staff be cautious with Gabriel Jesus after New Year? Once he’s off, history shows he won’t return until Easter.
Arsenal Jokes One Liners
Join the comedy squad with our Arsenal Jokes From locker room banter to terrace taunts, these jokes capture the spirit of supporting Arsenal, making every fan feel like a winner in the game of humor.
57. Why did Arsenal feel down about the European Super League collapse? They had high hopes of reaching as high as 12th place.
58. Which team starts matches with a bang? The Gunners, always aiming for explosive beginnings.
59. Why did the Super League invite Arsenal? Someone had to embrace finishing at the bottom and still be okay with it.
60. How would you describe PSG in the Champions League? They’re the Arsenal of the EPL, a familiar narrative.
61. Which football team has an affinity for toilet paper? Arsenal, the kings of unexpected rolls.
62. What links Arsenal FC and Oscar Pistorius? Both became accustomed to losing their legs, metaphorically speaking.
63. What advice do you give your girlfriend when she needs space? Tell her to check Arsenal’s trophy cabinet; there’s plenty of room.
64. What unites Arsenal and Tottenham fans? Their shared obsession with Tottenham, a love-hate relationship.
65. What sets apart The Emirates and a cactus? The cactus keeps its pricks on the outside, a lesson in defense.
66. Why are Bayern fans feeling blue? No Arsenal in UCL again this season, leaving them disappointed.
67. How does Arsenal fare in European competitions? They tend to 10-2 get knocked out, a predictable outcome.
68. Have you heard about the ref who faced a revealing soccer team? He witnessed Arsenal, a sight he won’t forget.
69. What distinguishes Arsenal’s players moving to Chelsea from Chelsea’s players joining Arsenal? One group heads to retire, the other aspires to lift trophies.
70. How does Arsenal promote equality with their gay team? They’re officially known as “Upthearsenal,” lovingly called “The rear Gunners” by fans.
71. What’s Gunnersaurus, Arsenal’s mascot, thinking? “I survived extinction for this nonsense?”
72. A man asks for directions to a rubbish tip; what’s the witty reply? “Arsenal winning the Premier League,” the epitome of unlikely scenarios.
73. Why does Arsenal plant potatoes at the pitcher’s edge?
To have something substantial to lift at season’s end.
74. Who are the three people you can’t advise? A woman in love, a man with money, and an Arsenal supporter.
75. How do you turn an Arsenal fan into a millionaire?
Advise them to save up for the Champions League final; it’s a distant dream.
76. How many Arsenal fans does it take to change a lightbulb? None; they’re still discussing the lightbulb they never bought.
Hilarious Arsenal Jokes
These clever jokes and puns bring a lighthearted touch to the world of Arsenal, ensuring that win or lose, you’ll always come out on top with a smile. Get ready to score big in the game of humor!
77. Why did the Arsenal fan sit in the corner during the match? Because they heard every match has a corner that’s hard to defend!
78. What’s an Arsenal fan’s favorite type of bread? Pita, because they can’t handle a “roll”!
79. Why don’t Arsenal fans play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when they always come second!
80. What do you call a book about Arsenal’s defense? A short story.
81. Why did the Arsenal fan bring string to the match? To tie the score!
82. What’s the difference between a tea bag and Arsenal? A tea bag stays in the cup longer!
83. Why did the Arsenal fan refuse to play cards? They heard the players were always dealing!
84. What’s Arsenal’s favorite type of movie? Anything with a “plot twist” at the end!
85. Why don’t Arsenal fans eat M&Ms? They always throw out the Ws!
86. What’s an Arsenal fan’s least favorite store? The trophy shop, it’s always out of stock!
86. Why did the Arsenal fan bring a ladder to the match? To reach the high expectations!
87. Why do Arsenal fans make terrible detectives? They can’t find the silverware!
88. What do you call an Arsenal fan with half a brain?
89. Why did the Arsenal fan bring a pencil to the game?
In case they needed to draw a game plan!
90. How does an Arsenal fan count to ten? “0-1, 0-2, 0-3…”
91. What do you call an Arsenal fan with a championship ring? A time traveler.
92. Why don’t Arsenal fans like using elevators? They can’t stand getting stuck on the second floor!
93. Why don’t Arsenal fans make good bakers? They can’t handle the pressure of a good “rise”!
94. What’s an Arsenal fan’s favorite type of music? Heavy metal, because they love the sound of hitting the post!
95. Why don’t Arsenal fans play chess? Because they can’t handle the checkmate!
Best Arsenal Jokes
Hit the back of the net with laughter as we score big with our collection of Arsenal Jokes – a must-read for football fans and comedy enthusiasts alike!
96. Why did the Arsenal player refuse to play cards? They heard the players were always dealing, but never winning!
97. What’s an Arsenal player’s favorite type of music? Heavy metal, because they love the sound of hitting the post!
98. What do you call an Arsenal player with a championship ring? A time traveler, because they seem to be living in a different era!
99. Why did the Arsenal player go to the art museum? To learn how to draw a proper defense!
100. Why don’t Arsenal players play chess? Because they can’t handle the checkmate; they’re used to draws!
101. What did the Arsenal fan do when they won the lottery?
They went back to the store to buy more lottery tickets, hoping for back-to-back wins!
102. Why don’t Arsenal fans make good firefighters? They can’t handle the heat in crucial moments!
103. What’s Arsenal’s favorite kind of seafood? Crawfish, because they love a good “crawl” to the finish line!
104. Why did the Arsenal fan bring a map to the stadium? To find their way to the top of the league!
105. Why don’t Arsenal fans play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when they always come second!
106. What do Arsenal FC and demonstrators share? Both face regular beatings, in different arenas.
107. Why was the wife shocked on her wedding night? She expected to marry an Arsenal fan, not an arsehole fan.
108. Heard about England’s 1st gay professional footballer? “His dream is to play for Arsenal,” a testament to the club’s allure.
109. Have you heard about the new Arsenal Bra? It offers ample support but sadly lacks any cups, a true reflection of their trophy cabinet.
110. What’s a pirate’s preferred football club? Arrrrrrrsenal, the team that sails the high seas of football.
111. How do you turn an Arsenal fan into a millionaire?
Advise them to save up for the UCL final, a lucrative endeavor that remains just out of reach.
Arsenal Player Jokes
112. Why did the Arsenal player bring a ladder to the match? To reach new heights in the league!
113. What’s an Arsenal player’s favorite subject in school? Chemistry, because they love creating “explosive” goals!
114. Why don’t Arsenal players do well in exams? Because they always fail to find the right answer!
115. How does an Arsenal player cool down after a game?
They open the window; they’re used to getting blown away!
116. What do you call an Arsenal player with an IQ of 70? A gifted footballer.
117. Why don’t Arsenal players play hide and seek?
Because good luck hiding when they always come second!
118. What did the Arsenal player do when they won the lottery? They went back to buy more lottery tickets, hoping for back-to-back wins just like their matches!
119. Why did the Arsenal player go to the beach? To improve their sand defense tactics!
120. What’s an Arsenal player’s favorite board game?
Chutes and Ladders, because they’re always aiming to climb to the top!
121. Why did the Arsenal player bring a map to the game? To find their way to the goal!
122. Why don’t Arsenal players make good chefs?
They can’t handle the pressure of the hot stove, just like the pressure in crucial matches!
123. What do you call an Arsenal player who can control the ball? A magician, because it’s a rare sight!
124. Why do Arsenal players love gardening? Because they’re experts at digging themselves into a hole and then trying to get out!
125. What’s an Arsenal player’s favorite type of movie? Anything with a “plot twist” at the end, just like their games!
126. Why don’t Arsenal players make good detectives?
They can’t find the silverware!
127. What’s the difference between an Arsenal player and a dictionary? The dictionary has more definitions of “win” than an Arsenal player has experiences with it!
128. What did the Arsenal player do at the library? They asked the librarian where they could find a book on how to score goals.
Arsenal Team Names
2. Cannon Commandos
3. Goal Diggers FC
4. Arsenal Arsenic
5. Redemption Reds
6. Victorious Vuvuzelas
7. Wenger’s Warriors
8. Gooner Glory
9. Emirates Elite
10. Arteta’s Artists
11. Net Breakers FC
12. Red Rampage XI
13. Gunners Galore
14. Scorers United
15. The Arsenal Anchors
16. Pitch Perfectionists
17. Infinite Invincibles
18. Goal Gurus FC
19. The Arsenal Allegiance
20. Emirates Enigma
Some Final Words
These jokes provide football enthusiasts, as well as comedy lovers, with a chance to enjoy a good laugh while showcasing their team spirit.
So gather your fellow fans or share a joke with rivals, because when it comes to Arsenal Jokes, everyone can find a reason to smile, regardless of which side of the pitch they stand on.