Looking for a good laugh? Check out these funny cougar jokes and puns! Whether you’re a kid or an adult, these jokes are sure to put a smile on your face. From puns to dad jokes, there’s something for everyone. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the show!
Cougars are often the subject of jokes and for good reason. They’re big, they’re powerful, and they’re not afraid to take what they want. But sometimes, the best jokes about cougars are the ones that are just plain silly. Here are a few of our favorite Cougar jokes:
Best Cougar Jokes
1. Why did the cougar cross the road?
To get to the boy toy on the other side!
2. Why are cougars always on the prowl?
Because they’re looking for their next prey!
3. What do you call a cougar who’s lost her teeth?
A gummy bear!
4. Why did the cougar go to the club?
To find a young stud to dance with!
5. What do you call a cougar who’s looking for a man with a lot of money?
A gold digger!
6. What do you call a cougar who’s looking for a man with a lot of brains?
A sapiosexual!
7. Why did the cougar date a man half her age?
Because she wanted to feel young again!
8. Why are cougars like vampires?
They both like to sink their teeth into their prey!
9. How do you know you’re dating a cougar?
She’s always the one buying you drinks!
10. Why did the cougar cross the road?
To get to the younger side, of course!
11. Why did the cougar break up with her boyfriend?
He was too young to remember the ’80s.
12. Why do cougars prefer younger men?
Because they’re like a fine wine – they get better with age.
13. Why did the cougar cross the road?
To get to the young chicken on the other side!
14. Why did the cougar break up with her boyfriend?
He was too immature for her – he still drank milk from a sippy cup!
15. Why did the cougar cross the road?
To get to the younger man on the other side!
16. How does a cougar say “I love you”?
By buying you a sports car!
17. Why don’t Cougars play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs!
18. What do you call a cougar who likes younger men?
A purr-vert!
19. Why was the cougar afraid of the computer?
She heard there was a mouse on the screen!
20. What do you get when you cross a cougar and a cheetah?
A fast and furious romance!
21. Why do cougars prefer younger men?
Because they can keep up with them!
Cougar Meme Jokes
Cougar jokes have been around for a while, and they never fail to bring a smile to people’s faces.
Whether you’re a fan of funny one-liners, puns, or silly stories, there’s something for everyone when it comes to cougar jokes. So, without further ado, here are some of the funniest cougar jokes around!
22. Why did the cougar break up with her boyfriend?
He was too much of a cheetah.
23. What’s a cougar’s favorite song?
“Eye of the Tiger.”
24. What do you call a cougar in a library?
A bookworm!
25. Why did the cougar go to the gym?
To work on her claws!
26. What’s the difference between a cougar and a leopard?
The cougar is more experienced!
27. Why do Cougars make the best teachers?
They have years of experience!
28. Why do cougars make great hunters?
They know how to pounce!
29. What do you call a cougar who likes younger men?
A cougaress!
30. Why do cougars prefer younger men?
Because they’re easier to train!
31. Why did the cougar go to the psychiatrist?
To work on her inner roar!
32. What do you call a cougar who’s looking for a sugar daddy?
A sweet-toothed cougar!
33. What’s a cougar’s favorite type of music?
Anything with a younger crowd!
34. Why did the cougar cross the road?
To get to the younger man on the other side!
35. What do you call a cougar in a bar?
A purr-fect 10!
36. Why did the cougar cross the road?
To get to the high school football game.
37. What’s a cougar’s favorite car?
A jaguar, of course!
38. Why did the cougar break up with her boyfriend?
He couldn’t keep up with her!
Funny Cougar Jokes
As much as we love to appreciate the beauty and grace of a cougar, it’s also quite amusing to make fun of them.
So, we bring you a list of some of the funniest cougar jokes that will make you laugh out loud. Let’s dive in!
39. Why did the cougar date the handyman?
She needed some good tools.
40. What do you call a group of cougars?
A purr-ty.
41. Why did the cougar break up with the young cub?
He was too kittenish.
42. How do you know when a cougar is happy?
She starts to purr loudly.
43. Why did the cougar cross the road?
To get to the younger prey on the other side.
44. How do you attract a cougar?
With a young, tender steak.
45. What do you call a cougar who’s also a lawyer?
A legal predator.
46. Why did the cougar go to the gym?
To keep her claws sharp.
47. What do you call a cougar with a high libido?
A mountain lion.
48. How do you know if a cougar is interested in you?
She’ll ask for your number and give you a wink.
49. What’s a cougar’s favorite drink?
A margarita with extra salt, just like her prey.
50. Why did the cougar join the dating site?
She heard there were plenty of fish (er, cubs) in the sea.
51. What do you call a group of cougars on the prowl?
A hot flash mob.
52. How do you know if a cougar is in a bad mood?
She’ll swipe left on every cub she sees.
53. Why did the cougar start watching “The Bachelor”?
To scout out potential prey.
54. What do you call a cougar with a younger boyfriend?
A feline Cougar Mellencamp.
55. Why did the cougar break up with the older man?
She realized she was just a retirement plan.
Cougar Woman Jokes
56. Why did the cougar break up with the young man she was dating?
He kept calling her “ma’am” instead of “baby.”
57. What do you call a group of cougars on the prowl?
A purrty.
58. What’s a cougar’s favorite type of music?
Anything with a young beat.
59. What do you call a group of cougars?
A pride.
60. Why do cougars love dating younger men?
Because they’re like a fine wine – they get better with age.
61. Why did the cougar break up with her boyfriend?
He was too immature – he still liked playing video games.
62. Why did the cougar break up with her boyfriend?
Because he couldn’t keep up!
63. What do you call an older woman who loves younger men?
A cougar, of course!
64. Why did the cougar go to the gym?
To work on her claws!
65. How do you know if a cougar is hungry?
She starts eyeing the young men!
66. Why did the cougar cross the road?
To get to the young man on the other side!
67. What’s the difference between an ocougar and a lion?
One prowls the savannah, and the other prowls the club scene!
68. Why did the cougar go to the doctor?
Because she was feeling a little “roar”!
69. What do you call a group of cougars?
A pride, of course!
70. Why did the cougar buy a new sports car?
To keep up with the younger men!
71. What do you call a cougar at a bar?
A puma-tini!
72. What’s a cougar’s favorite type of music?
“Cougar Rock” – it’s all about the younger guys.
73. Did you hear about the cougar who opened her own dating app?
It’s called “Pounce”!
74. What’s a cougar’s favorite type of wine?
Anything with a vintage date that’s younger than she is.
75. Why did the cougar break up with her younger man?
She realized he still had a curfew.
76. What do you call a young man who’s into older women?
A cub scout!
77. Why did the cougar refuse to date a man her own age?
She didn’t want to be known as a “kitten”.
78. What do you call a cougar who’s always on the prowl?
A feline predator.
79. Why did the cougar break up with the young guy?
He was too immature. She needed someone who knew how to purr like a kitten and roar like a lion.
Funny Jokes About Cougars
80. Why do cougars love dating younger men?
Because they’re always up for a good chase!
81. Why did the cougar break up with her younger boyfriend?
He couldn’t keep up with her!
82. What’s a cougar’s favorite drink?
A Cuba libre!
83. What do you call a cougar who’s also a chef?
A cougar de cuisine!
84. Why did the cougar break up with her younger boyfriend?
He was too immature for her.
85. What’s the difference between a cougar and a cheetah?
One is fast and agile, and the other is a big cat.
86. Why did the cougar go to the grocery store?
To pick up some fresh meat!
87. What do you call a cougar who’s also a lawyer?
A legal predator!
88. What’s the difference between a cougar and a puma?
One is a big cat, and the other is a big flirt!
89. Why did the cougar get kicked out of the zoo?
She was caught flirting with the keepers!
90. What do you call a group of cougars?
A pride of divorcees!
91. How do you know if a cougar is into you?
She’ll purr instead of growl!
92. What do you call a cougar who loves to dance?
A twerking cougar!
93. Why did the cougar break up with her young lover?
He was too much of a cub scout!
94. What do you call a cougar who is also a lawyer?
A purr-secutor!
95. Why did the cougar go to the bar?
To find a young man who can handle her roar!
96. What do you call a cougar who is also a rock star?
A meow-they Crue!
97. What’s the difference between a cougar and a jaguar?
A jaguar has better taste than men!
98. What do you call a group of cougars?
A purrfect party!
99. Why did the cougar break up with her younger boyfriend?
He was too immature. She needed a man, not a boy toy.
100. What do you call a cougar who just got out of a relationship?
A hot, single cat!
101. Why did the cougar go to the club?
To find someone to take her on a safari!
102. What’s a cougar’s favorite drink?
A Cuba libre, of course!
103. Why did the cougar join a dating website?
To hunt down her prey from the comfort of her own home!
104. What’s the difference between a cougar and a housecat?
About 20 years and a whole lot of attitude!
105. Why did the cougar go to the gym?
To stay in shape for her next young lover!
106. What do you call a cougar who just broke up with her young boyfriend?
A “puma”!
107. Why did the cougar break up with her younger boyfriend?
He was too immature and kept playing with his food!
108. What did the cougar say to the young man at the bar?
“Are you a beaver? Because daaaaaam!”
109. Why do cougars like younger men?
They taste better!
110. What do you call a cougar who loves to dance?
A “boogie cat”!
111. How do you know if a cougar is in a bad mood?
She’ll start growling!
112. What do you call a cougar who can’t keep a younger man interested?
A “cougar that lost her roar”!
113. Why do Cougars always have a good time?
They know how to purrfectly enjoy themselves!
Cougar Meme Funny Cougar Jokes
114. Why did the cougar break up with her cub?
He was too clingy.
115. How do you make a cougar purr?
Whisper sweet nothings in her ear, and then offer to pay for dinner.
116. Why do cougars like younger men?
They’re easier to train.
117. How do you know if a cougar is in the mood?
She’ll start stalking her prey.
118. What do you call a cougar who’s into fitness?
A gym cat.
119. Why do cougars love dating younger men?
Because they never have to worry about their partner being too tired to keep up with them.
120. How do you know if you’re dealing with a couga?
Look for the tell-tale signs of leopard print clothing and a penchant for younger men.
121. What do you call a cougar who’s lost her roar?
A house cat.
122. Why did the younger man break up with the cougar?
He wanted to find someone who was closer to his own age, like 25…in cougar years.
123. How do you make a cougar purr?
Buy her a drink and tell her she looks amazing for her age.
124. Why did the cougar go to the gym?
To keep her body in shape for all those young men chasing after her.
125. Why did the cougar go to the toy store?
To find a new young man to play with.
126. Why do cougars always date younger men?
Because they’re like catnip to them.
127. How do cougars stay young?
They date younger men.
128. What do you call a cougar who just broke up with her young lover?
Puma-ted.
139. What’s a cougar’s favorite band?
The Rolling Stones.
130. What do cougars wear to bed?
Their claws.
131. Why did the cougar date a younger man?
She wanted to be his sugar mama.
132. What do you call a cougar who’s into fitness?
A gym cat.
133. How do you know if you’re dating a cougar?
You’re the one who’s always buying dinner.
134. What’s the difference between a cougar and a jaguar?
A jaguar is a car, and a cougar is a cougar!
135. Why do Cougars make great dancers?
They know how to pounce on the dance floor.
136. What do you call a cougar who’s into younger men?
A “puma-enthusiast”.
137. Why do cougars prefer younger men?
Because they don’t need a walking stick yet.
138. How do you make a cougar purr?
Buy her a drink.
139. Why did the cougar go to the club?
To hunt for her prey.
140. What’s the difference between a cougar and a milf?
A cougar is a predator, and a milf is a trophy.
141. Why do cougars make great hunters?
They have lots of experience stalking their prey.
142. What do you call a cougar who’s looking for love online?
A web-cub.
143. Why are cougars always on the prowl?
They’re just trying to stay young at heart.
144. What do you call a cougar who’s been around the block a few times?
A seasoned pro.
145. Why do cougars prefer younger men?
Because they don’t have to worry about them falling asleep after sex.
146. How can you spot a cougar in the wild?
Look for the telltale signs of Botox and a desperate need for attention.
147. What do you call a young man who dates a cougar
A “cub” – because he’s young, cute, and full of energy!
148. Why do cougars always wear animal prints?
So they can blend in with their prey!
149. Why did the cougar break up with her cub?
He was too immature, and she needed someone with more experience.
150. What’s a cougar’s favorite type of music?
Cub-step!
151. Why did the cougar go to the gym?
To work on her prey-sis!
152. What do you call a male cougar?
A lucky cub!
153. What do you call a cougar who just got a facelift?
A new and improved kitty!
154. What do cougars and cats have in common?
They both love to play with their prey!
Final words
So, there you have it – some of the funniest cougar jokes that will surely make you chuckle. But, let’s not forget to appreciate these powerful and majestic felines for the amazing creatures they are.
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