70+ Best Kirk Cousins Dad Jokes

Are you ready to hear some hilarious dad jokes? Well, you’re in luck because we’re about to dive into the world of Kirk Cousins dad jokes! For those who may not be familiar, Kirk Cousins is a quarterback for the Minnesota Vikings in the NFL.

He’s known for his skills on the field, but also for his incredible dad jokes. He’s made appearances on late night talk shows and has even tweeted some of his best jokes. So, without further ado, let’s take a look at some of Kirk Cousins’ best dad jokes:

Funny Kirk Cousins Dad Jokes

1.  Why did Kirk Cousins love taking his Dad to football games?

 Because he always had a Couple-in!

2.   Why is Kirk Cousins always so excited to throw a football?

Because he’s been practicing his hail Marys.

3.  What does Kirk Cousins dad say when he walks in the room?

“That was quick! Did you

two-minute warn your way here?”

4.  Why did Kirk Cousins cross the road?

A: To get to the end zone!

5.  Why did Kirk Cousins bring a ladder to the game?

Because he wanted to climb the depth chart!

6.  Why did Kirk Cousins take his linemen out to lunch?

Because he heard they were hungry for some blocks!

7.  How does Kirk Cousins keep his cool during a game?

He practices his “Cousins’ Zen”!

8.  Why did Kirk Cousins get into a fight with a defensive lineman?

Because he said his dad could throw better than him!

9.  Why did Kirk Cousins bring a dictionary to practice?

 Because he wanted to look up the definition of “touchdown”!

10.   What did Kirk Cousins say to his receivers before the game?

“Let’s catch some W’s!”

11.  Why did Kirk Cousins go to the library before the game?

 He was looking for a book on “How to beat the Bears”!

12.  Why did Kirk Cousins go to the bank?

He needed some extra “passes”!

13.  What did Kirk Cousins say when he saw a squirrel on the field?

 “Looks like the defense is going nuts!”

14.  Why did Kirk Cousins cross the road?

To get to the end zone!

15.  Why did Kirk Cousins go to the gym?

He heard the weights were getting strong enough to block for him!

16.  Why did Kirk Cousins bring a snow shovel to the game?

 He wanted to “dig” his team out of a hole!

17.  What did Kirk Cousins say when his coach asked him how he felt about the game plan?

 “I’m all ‘aboard’!”

18.  Why did Kirk Cousins call his receivers “streakers”?

Because they’re always running around without any clothes on!

Funny Kirk Cousins Dad Jokes

Kirk Cousins Dad shirt jokes

19.  “Kirk Cousins’ dad’s closet is full of ‘You Like That?

 shirts, but he only wears them on game day.”

20.  “Kirk Cousins’ dad wears a ‘You Like That?

 shirt to work every day, just to remind his boss who’s in charge.”

21.  “Kirk Cousins’ dad’s ‘You Like That?!’

shirt has become so popular, it’s now the official uniform of his neighborhood watch group.”

22.  “Kirk Cousins’ dad wears a ‘You Like That?

!’ shirt to family gatherings, just in case anyone forgets who the real MVP is.”

23.  “Kirk Cousins’ dad’s ‘You Like That?

!’ shirt has been voted the most inspiring fashion statement of the year.”

24.  “Kirk Cousins’ dad’s ‘You Like That?

!’ shirt is so powerful, it has the ability to turn a bad day into a good one.”

25.  “Kirk Cousins’ dad’s ‘You Like That?

!’ shirt is so durable, it has survived every washing machine cycle without fading.”

26.  “Kirk Cousins’ dad’s ‘You Like That?

 shirt is so stylish, it’s been featured in fashion magazines around the world.”

27.  “Kirk Cousins’ dad’s ‘You Like That?

!’ shirt is so iconic, it’s now on display in the Pro Football Hall of Fame.”

28.  “Kirk Cousins’ dad’s ‘You Like That?

‘ shirt is so popular, it’s been worn by celebrities, politicians, and even royalty.”

29.  “Kirk Cousins’ dad’s ‘You Like That?

!’ The shirt is so comfortable, he wears it to bed every night.”

30.  “Kirk Cousins’ dad’s ‘You Like That?

!’ shirt is so legendary, it’s inspired a whole new generation of football fans.”

31.  “Kirk Cousins’ dad’s ‘You Like That?

!’ shirt is so infectious, everyone who sees it can’t help but smile.”

32.  “Kirk Cousins’ dad’s ‘You Like That?

!’ shirt is so motivational, it’s been used to train Olympic athletes.”

33.  “Kirk Cousins’ dad’s ‘You Like That?

!’ shirt is so famous, it’s now considered a national treasure.

Kirk Cousins Dad Memes

34.  What do you call Kirk Cousins when he’s driving a tractor?

 Farmer in the Red Zone.

35.  Why did Kirk Cousins get a job as a carpenter?

 Because he’s great at throwing hammer routes.

36.  Why did Kirk Cousins go to the bank?

To get his quarter back.

37.  Why did Kirk Cousins take his O-line out for pizza?

 He wanted to build a better rapport.

38.  What do you call Kirk Cousins when he’s hanging out with his teammates?

Captain Kirk and the Enterprise.

39.  Why did Kirk Cousins become a vegetarian?

He didn’t want to keep taking sacks of meat.

40.  What do you call it when Kirk Cousins throws a touchdown?

 A Cousins Connection.

41.  Why did Kirk Cousins start a landscaping business?

 He wanted to work on his play-action fake.

42.  What do you call Kirk Cousins when he’s playing horseshoes

? Ringer in the Red Zone.

43.  Why did Kirk Cousins go to the tailor?

He wanted to improve his pocket presence.

44.  What do you call Kirk Cousins when he’s watching a scary movie?

 Fear in the Pocket.

45.  Why did Kirk Cousins open a donut shop?

He wanted to perfect his touch pass.

46.  What do you call Kirk Cousins when he’s wearing a chef hat?

Captain Kirk and the Kitchen.

47.  Why did Kirk Cousins become a detective?

 He wanted to solve the mystery of his interception rate.

48.  What do you call Kirk Cousins when he’s playing Monopoly?

Property in the Red Zone.

49.  Why did Kirk Cousins start a dog-walking business?

 He wanted to work on his play-action handoff.

50.  What do you call it when Kirk Cousins makes a comeback?

A Cousins Reunion.

51.  Why did Kirk Cousins start a band?

 He wanted to perfect his play-action rhythm.

52.  What do you call Kirk Cousins when he’s playing golf?

 Aiming for the Red Zone.

53.  Why did Kirk Cousins go to the zoo?

 He wanted to learn how to escape the pocket like a cheetah.

Best Kirk Cousins Dad Jokes

54.  Why did Kirk Cousins go to the bank?

To get his Quarterback.

55.  Why did Kirk Cousins quit his job as a lumberjack?

 He couldn’t hack it.

56.  What does Kirk Cousins say when he gets a touchdown?

“It’s all relative!”

57.  Why did Kirk Cousins bring a ladder to the game?

He wanted to climb the rankings.

58.  Why did Kirk Cousins go to the dentist?

He wanted to get his teeth straighter than his passes.

59.  Why did Kirk Cousins cross the road?

To get to the end zone!

60.  Why did Kirk Cousins bring a spoon to the game?

 In case he needed to dish out some touchdowns.

61.  What do you call a Kirk Cousins touchdown pass?

A cousin connection!

62.  Why did Kirk Cousins wear two pairs of pants to the game?

 In case he had a “pick-six.”

63.  What do you get when you cross Kirk Cousins with a computer?

 A “byte”-ing quarterback!

64.  Why did Kirk Cousins bring his alarm clock to the game?

He wanted to wake up his team.

Best Kirk Cousins Dad Jokes

65.  Why did Kirk Cousins join the circus?

He heard they needed a quarterback to throw the ball through the hoop.

66.  Why did Kirk Cousins wear his hat backward to the game?

He wanted to show off his “fleek” passing skills.

67.  Why did Kirk Cousins go to the pet store?

He wanted to find a “retriever” for his passes.

68.  Why did Kirk Cousins try out for the orchestra?

 He wanted to play a “touchdown” with his violin.

69.  What do you call a Kirk Cousins touchdown pass that’s caught by the opponent?

 A “pick-sick”!

70.  Why did Kirk Cousins join a band?

He heard they needed a quarterback to lead the “passing” section.

Kirk Cousins Jokes

71.   What did Kirk Cousins say after he threw an interception?

He said, “My bad! I always seem to be throwing a Cousin’s Interception!”

72.  What did Kirk Cousins name his new puppy?

 A Quarterback!

73.   What did Kirk Cousins say when he ordered food at a restaurant?

I’ll have Quarter Pounder, with Cheesy Peas on the side!

74.  “Why did Kirk Cousins become a quarterback?

So he could always have someone to blame.”

75.  “Why did Kirk Cousins go to the bank?

To get his interception rate down.”

76.  “What’s Kirk Cousins’ favorite movie?

‘The Blind Side’, because he never sees his receivers.”

77.   “Why did Kirk Cousins become a quarterback?

 So he could always have someone to blame.”

Kirk Cousins Personal Life

78.Kirk Cousins was born on August 19, 1988, in Barrington, Illinois, USA.

79.He attended Michigan State University, where he played college football and earned a degree in kinesiology.

80.Cousins married his high school sweetheart, Julie Hampton, in June 2014, and they have two children together.

81.He is known for his strong Christian faith and has been open about his beliefs, often thanking God in post-game interviews.

82.Cousins is active in charity work, particularly through his “Kirk Cousins Foundation,” which focuses on youth development and education.

83.In addition to football, Cousins has a passion for books and is known to be an avid reader.

84.Kirk Cousins has had a successful NFL career, playing for the Washington Football Team (formerly the Redskins) and later the Minnesota Vikings as a quarterback.

Kirk Cousins Rumors

85.Why did the cousin bring a ladder to the family reunion? Because they heard it was a “close-knit” gathering!

86.What do you call a cousin who’s always playing tricks? A “prankster relative”!

87.Why did the cousin bring a calculator to the family picnic? Because they wanted to “count on” having a good time!

88.What’s a cousin’s favorite type of math? Multi-cousin addition!

89.How do cousins stay in touch in the digital age? They send each other “cell-fies”!

90.Why did the cousin bring a backpack to the family dinner? Because they wanted to “dish” out some good conversation!

91.What’s a cousin’s favorite game at family get-togethers? “Cousinopoly”!

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Final Thoughts

These dad jokes may seem cheesy, but they’re guaranteed to make you laugh. What’s great about Kirk Cousins is that he doesn’t take himself too seriously and uses humor to connect with his fans. In fact, Cousins even used his dad joke skills to raise money for a good cause.

So, whether you’re a fan of football or just a fan of good humor, Kirk Cousins’ dad jokes are sure to brighten your day. Who knew that a quarterback could be so funny?

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