These Following airport dad jokes will have you laughing all the way to your destination! From the funniest puns to the silliest one-liners, get ready to hear some of the best dads jokes around. So strap in, buckle up, and get ready for takeoff!
Airports can be hectic and stressful places, with travelers rushing to catch flights, long security lines, and delayed flights. Amidst this chaos, some people find solace in humor, and what better way to lighten the mood than with a good old dad joke? “Airport Dad Jokes” are a collection of corny and groan-worthy jokes that play off common airport and travel themes.
These jokes can be heard from fathers traveling with their families or airport staff trying to bring some laughter to their daily routine. Whether they make you roll your eyes or chuckle, airport dad jokes are a fun and harmless way to pass the time while waiting for your flight.
Best Airport Dad Jokes
1. What’s the term for someone who’s ill while traveling by air?
A terminal illness.
2. Why is Metallica considered a safe choice of music to listen to at an airport?
Because they haven’t triggered a metal detector since 1989.
3. What do you call a difficult passenger causing trouble at Las Vegas International Airport?
4. Why is it often windy at the airport?
Because it’s where all the air is funneled to.
5. What’s a humorous term for a baby who just had their diaper changed at an airport?
6. Why is smoking prohibited at airports?
Because it’s associated with a terminal disease.
7. How does an Antifa member typically reach the airport?
They take an a-cab.
8. Where does a hiker store his helicopter?
In a mountain hangar.
9. Why do some individuals have an immediate aversion towards airline personnel?
To expedite the process later on.
10. Do you think invisible planes will become a reality?
I can’t see them becoming popular.
11. What sets apart God from a commercial pilot?
God isn’t under the impression he’s a pilot.
12. Why was the plane punished and sent to its quarters?
Poor altitude behavior.
13. What makes flight attendants exceptional astronauts?
Their adeptness at occupying space.
14. What possesses a snout and flies but lacks a sense of smell?
15. What did the astronaut say to the flight attendant?
“Blast off time!”
16. What did the basketball player say to the flight attendant?
“Pass me to first class.”
17. What do you call it when a flamingo boards an airplane?
A “pink flight.”
18. Where are the Rocky Mountains located?
At the mountainous airports.
19. Who invented the first airplane that couldn’t land?
The Left Brothers.
20. How often do airplanes collide?
Once in a blue moon.
Dad Jokes about Airport
We all know that airports can be stressful places, with long lines, unpredictable delays, and of course, the dreaded security line. But while waiting in the airport, why not break the monotony with one of these dad jokes? After all, what’s more fun than a good laugh?
21. What do you call an airplane that flies upside down?
A reverse airline.
22. What do you call the Italian president’s airplane?
23. What happens to a terrible airplane joke?
It crashes and burns.
24. What’s the difference between an engineer and an artist?
An engineer built the airplane; an artist painted it.
25. Why do fighter pilots make great comedians?
They always deliver killer punchlines.
26. What did the astronaut pilot tell his crew?
“I’ve got this under control, let’s moonwalk.”
27. Why is innovation in airplane technology so slow?
Everyone is afraid to take off with new ideas.
28. What if a cat flew the first airplane?
It would be purrfect.
29. Why couldn’t the helicopter pilot land in the desert?
Because it was a sand trap.
30. Have you heard about the TV show featuring flying elephants?
It soared to great heights.
31. What do you call a pilot who is also a farmer?
A crop duster.
32. Why can’t butterflies become pilots?
Because they keep flapping their wings.
33. Where can you find Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson on a flight?
In Rampage mode.
34. What do you call a flying rodent?
35. A plane crashed, and only two survived. Why?
Because they were wearing their seatbelts.
36. What do you call the movie about a plane hijack?
Dad Jokes About Airplanes
Airport dad jokes are the perfect way to lighten up the mood at the airport. From long lines and flight delays to the stress of catching a connecting flight, airports can be stressful places to be.
But with a few airport dad jokes, passengers can have a few chuckles to help pass the time. Here are some of our favorite airport dad jokes to get you started:
37. Why won’t Redbull travel by airplane?
It already has wings.
38. Harry Potter boarded a plane, what did they call him?
The wizard in the sky.
39. Have you tried airplane mode? I did.
I threw my phone, but it didn’t soar.
40. How is a co-pilot different from a jet engine?
The engine stops whining after the flight.
41. Can an airplane fly backward?
Yes, it’s called a receding airline.
42. How do flat-earthers travel around the world?
They take a plane, of course.
43. Which bagel can fly?
A plane bagel.
44. What noise does a rubber airplane make?
Boeing? (Pun intended)
45. What flavor of crisps does an airline pilot love?
Plane, of course.
46. Did you hear about the new TV series about a plane crash?
The pilot was terrible.
47. What did they say to each other?
Mad props, yo!
48. Have you heard the airplane joke?
Never mind, it’s above you.
49. What’s another title for “Snakes on a Plane”?
The Boeing Constrictor.
50. Who created the first airplane that couldn’t fly?
The Wrong Brothers.
51. Why did the airplane break up with the airport?
Because it just needed some space.
52. Why did the pilot bring a bar of soap to the airport?
Because he heard that the runway was slippery.
Jokes About Airport Security
53. What is the term for an individual employed in airport security?
A security officer.
54. What could be a reason for a dentist to excel as an airport security guard?
They have experience performing thorough inspections.
55. Is it possible to cause harm with a bottle of water in large quantities?
Airport security suggests it could be.
56. Is there a connection between being Muslim and being a terrorist?
I cannot confirm this as I work in airport security.
57. Why hasn’t President Trump deported all Muslims?
It may be challenging to get them through airport security checkpoints.
58. Why did the airport security guard wear a suit of armor?
To make sure no one smuggled any swords onto the plane!
59. How do airport security guards always know when something is suspicious?
Because they have trained hawkeye detectives!
60. Why was the airport security guard so grumpy?
He got sick of always having to deal with people’s baggage claims!
61. What do you call airport security when they crack down on jokes?
A No-Fly Zone.
62. Why is airport security so strict?
Because they are constantly looking for anything suspicious… you know, like an unexpectedly long layover.
63. What did the TSA agent say when he found someone trying to sneak in a drumstick on an airplane?
64. What do you call an airport security guard who is always smiling?
The Terminally Jovial Checker!
65. Why did the TSA agent seem so angry?
Because he was fed up with all the people who said, “It wasn’t me! I packed my own bag!”
Airport Jokes One Liner
These following jokes are sure to give everyone a good laugh during a long layover. Whether you’re a dad or not, these jokes are sure to make your airport experience a bit more enjoyable.
So if you’re in the mood for some lighthearted humor, here are a few airport dad jokes sure to get you some laughs.
66. Keep calm and carry on!
67. Landon Safely authored the book “Introduction to Flying”.
68. Ascending to the pinnacle of achievement.
69. I acquired a travel guide called “Wanderlust” penned by Anna Plane.
70. That pre-flight shiver we all know so well It’s real, and we’re feeling it too.
71. Great things come to those who book their flights.
72. Even with a late-night airport layover, the Chicago show must go on .
73. Having free time and a mobile boarding pass – what could be better than that.
74. Start your next flight off right with these delicious soft-baked treats.
75. We’re thrilled to be the NFL’s official airline partner at Delta. Thank you for choosing us!
76. Going to the airport is always a joy, not only for the travel but also for the people-watching!
77. Every time I fly, I feel like anything is possible.
Airport Terminal Jokes
78. What did the terminal say when he got lost at the airport?
I’m in a bit of a departure!
79. What type of plane flies around the airport?
A Circumstantial aircraft!
80. Why did the airport terminal fill up quickly?
Because it had an amazing check-in!
81. What did the airport terminal say to the airplane?
“Let’s take off together!”
82. Why don’t pilots go to the terminal lounge?
Because there are no flights!
83. What did one airport say to the other?
You terminally have my heart!
85. Why didn’t the plane end up in the terminal?
It was grounded!
84. Did you hear about the airport terminal that couldn’t keep a secret?
It kept spilling its baggage!
85. Why did the airport terminal finally retire?
Because it had too many layovers!
86. What did the airport security guard say when someone forgot their boarding pass?
That’s ok, I’m happy to see you again!
87. What did one flight attendant say to the other as they surveyed an empty airport terminal?
Looks like we’re going to have a lot of downtimes!
88. What did the airport terminal say when it saw an airplane fly over?
Wow, that was aerodynamic!
89. What did the airport security guard say to the crowd of passengers going through customs?
Please check your bags and don’t carry on anything you weren’t planning on taking with you!
90. What do you call the fog that’s always around airports?
91. What did the airport terminal say when its connection was lost?
“Oh, my gate!”
92. What did the airport security guard say when he saw someone running through the terminal?
“Stop! Flyer, go back!”
93. Why did the plane crash into the airport?
Because it was too busy looking for a parking spot!
94. Why did the airplane crash into the mountain?
It was too close for comfort.
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We hope you enjoyed our selection of airport dad jokes! Whether you’re at the airport or just looking for a good laugh, these jokes are sure to hit the spot. So next time you’re passing through the airport, why not share one of our airport dads jokes with your friends? You never know, you might just get a few laughs out of it!