If you’re a hockey fan, you know that there’s nothing quite like a good hockey dad joke. Whether you’re a player, a coach, or just a fan, these jokes can help lighten the mood and make the game a little more fun. With that in mind, here are some of the best hockey dad jokes around!
Some dads pride themselves on their quick wit and ability to crack a joke. Others are slightly less confident in their comedic prowess. But when it comes to hockey dad jokes, even the most humor-challenged dads can break a smile.
So what makes a good hockey dad joke? The answer is simple: hockey references! Hockey dads love to joke about their favorite game, the players, the teams, and the rules. To get you started, here are a few of our favorite hockey dad jokes:
Funny Hockey Dad Jokes
1. Did you hear about the hockey player who went to the bank?
He wanted to distribute more checks.
2. Where do hockey players buy their uniforms?
From New Jersey.
3. Which animal excels at playing hockey?
A score-pion!
4. Did you hear about the ghostbuster who joined the hockey team?
He’s great at stopping ghouls!
5. How do hockey players get paid?
With a check.
6. Why do people say that carpenters can’t play hockey?
Because they always get nailed to the boards.
7. Why don’t hockey players dress up for Halloween?
They have to take their face-off.
8. What do you call a hockey goalie who loves to read books?
A page-tender!
9. What do you call a hockey Dad who can skate backwards?
A reverse parent!
10. What does a hockey dad say when his kid scores?
Just ice it!
11. Why did the hockey puck cross the street?
To get to the other face-off!
12. Why do hockey dads have such great stories?
Because they have so many periods!
13. Where do hockey teams go when they want ice cream?
The Zamboni-er!
14. What did the hockey fan say when his team lost all their games?
“Oh, Shoot!”
15. What did the hockey goalie say to the ref after he was given a penalty?
“You have got to be icing me!”
16. What do hockey players use to make their ice cream?
Pucks and scoops!
Dad Hockey Jokes
Hockey dad jokes are some of the best! Whether you’re a hockey dad or just looking for a good chuckle, these jokes are sure to hit the spot.
From hilarious one-liners to puns about players, teams, and the game itself, there’s something here for everyone. So grab your skates and get ready to laugh!
17. What did the Zamboni driver say when he came to a stop?
Ice to meet you!
18. What kind of hockey player loves maths?
An algebraic goalie!
19. Why don’t hockey goalies drink beer?
Because they have to be alert and ready for the puck!
20. What kind of shots do hockey players fear most?
Fear checks!
21. What did the hockey puck say to the other?
Hey, let’s face off!
22. What did the hockey mom say when her son scored a goal?
“Way to shoot, Paul!”
23. What did the hockey dad say to his daughter when she was struggling with her stick handling skills?
“Stick with it, you’ll get better eventually!”
24. What do hockey dads serve their guests?
Ice cold beer and hard slaps!
25. What was the specialty dessert for the championship-winning hockey team?
They had Stanley Cupcakes on the menu.
26. Can any NHL player jump higher than a crossbar?
Well, the crossbar can’t jump, so technically all of them can.
27. What’s the perfect present for a hockey player?
An ice cap, of course!
28. Why didn’t the new hockey player perform well?
He had cold feet.
29. Why don’t NHL players sweat?
Because the stadium has a lot of fans the humankind, not the cooling device.
30. When do hockey players dress formally?
When it’s a tie game – a rare occasion that might make them sweat.
31. Why is Cinderella a lousy hockey player?
She keeps losing her skates.
Dad Jokes About Hockey
Hockey Dad Jokes are the best way to lighten up the mood between periods of an intense game.
Whether you’re the Dad on the bench or in the stands, these hilarious, pun-filled jokes are sure to get your friends and family laughing. So pass the puck and read on for our top hockey dad jokes!
32. Why did the hockey player refuse to play in the desert?
Because there was too much sand in the ice.
33. What did the hockey player say when he got a hat-trick?
“I scored a hat-trick!”
34. What do you call a hockey player who doesn’t shower?
A stinker.
35. Why did the hockey player wear two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hat-trick.
36. Why did the hockey player break up with his girlfriend?
She was always trying to put him in the penalty box.
37. What did the hockey player say to the goalie who wouldn’t leave the net?
“You’re really crease-ing me out.”
38. Why did the hockey player bring a ladder to the game?
To climb the leaderboard.
39. How does a hockey player answer the phone?
“Ice to meet you!”
40. What do you call a hockey player who’s always out of breath?
A puck-er.
41. Why did the hockey player take a pillow to the game?
He wanted to have a power nap.
42. What did the hockey player say when he won the lottery?
“I’m skating on money!”
43. Why did the hockey player go to the dentist?
To get his tooth back in the game.
44. What did the hockey player say when he was asked to join the band?
“I can play center ice.”
45. Why did the hockey player bring his dog to the game?
He wanted to play fetch on the ice.
46. What did the hockey player say when he got a penalty for roughing?
“But it was just a love tap!”
47. Why did the hockey player go to the optometrist?
To get his eyes on the prize.
48. Why do ice hockey players never get lost?
They always know where the puck is.
49. Why are Montreal Canadiens players always in shape?
They never miss a chance to hit the ice.
50. What makes stand-up comedians great at playing hockey?
They have a knack for finding the funny side of the game.
51. How did the Italian chef get to the ice hockey match?
He drove his pasta-zamboni.
52. What did the military commander tell his team before the game?
Charge ahead, and skate to victory!
Hilarious Hockey Jokes
Welcome to the world of Hockey Dad jokes! It’s a place where you can find plenty of laughs, even if you’re not a hockey fan. Whether you’re a player, a coach, a parent, or a spectator, we’ve got something for you.
So grab your skates, slip on your helmet, and get ready for some of the best hockey dads jokes around!
52. What distinguishes wrestling from hockey?
Wrestling is a one-on-one combat sport, while hockey is a team sport that involves skating and a puck.
53. Why was the hockey player taken into custody and jailed?
He was arrested for shooting the puck at the referee.
54. What happened when the hockey player demanded payment?
He was issued a cheque for his services.
55. Why aren’t pigs allowed to play hockey?
Because they are notorious for hogging the puck.
56. What is the commonality between a dentist and a field hockey coach?
Both use drills in their respective professions.
57. If a monkey wins the Stanley Cup, what is it called?
A champion.
58. Which hockey team’s players cannot be trusted?
The Devils.
59. Why didn’t the new ice hockey player perform well?
He got cold feet and couldn’t handle the pressure.
60. What advice did the coach give the new hockey player?
“I have my eyes on you, so perform your best.”
61. Why do NHL players never sweat?
They have too many fans blowing air on them.
62. How did the blonde fisherman meet his demise?
He was run over by the Zamboni while ice fishing.
63. What mode of transportation did the skeleton use to get to the hockey game?
A Zam-bony.
64. What distinguishes a curvy woman from the Atlanta Thrashers?
Even the curviest woman scores occasionally.
65. Why do hockey players often visit the bank?
Ans: To distribute more checks.
66. Why can’t carpenters play hockey?
Because they’re always nailed to the boards.
67. Why was Cinderella terrible at playing hockey?
Ans: She learned it from a pumpkin.
68. Which TV show character loved hockey?
Stanley from “The Off-ice.”
69. Did you enjoy the hockey game last night?
Yes, it was the icing on the cake.
70. Why are hockey players skilled at making friends quickly?
Because they know how to break the ice easily.
71. What would you call a father-son duo invited for dinner at the hockey coach’s house?
The father, the son, and the goalie host.
Hockey Jokes Funny
Hey hockey parents, we all need a good laugh every now and then. So here are some of the best hockey dad jokes around!
72. Why did the hockey player’s English teacher keep reprimanding him?
He kept adding three periods to his sentences.
73. What do NHL players receive on hot days?
Iced tea to keep them cool.
74. What can you contract from hockey players who are afraid?
Chicken pucks.
75. Why did the horseback rider arrive for hockey tryouts?
He misunderstood and thought they were jockey tryouts.
76. Which hockey team cannot be trusted?
The Devils.
77. What is your favorite part of a hockey player’s birthday party?
The icing on the cake.
78. What type of tea do hockey players drink?
Penal-tea.
79. What do a weak hockey team and the Titanic share in common?
They both appear impressive until they hit the ice.
80. Who has the largest helmet in hockey?
The one with the largest head.
81. What does the best hockey team receive for their end-of-season celebration?
Stanley Cupcakes.
82. What award does the finest Chinese hockey team win at the conclusion of the season?
The Bruce-Lee Cup.
83. Which Nordique great experiences recurring ligament problems?
Peter Spaz-knee!
84. Which trophy is the most extravagant?
The Lady Bling.
85. Did Cyclops from X-Men participate in hockey?
Yes, he enjoyed lacing up his skates.
86.Why did the hockey player bring an extra pair of pants to the game? In case he got a “hat trick”!
87.What do you call a hockey player who goes fishing? A “puck” catcher!
88.Why did the hockey player go to therapy? He had too many “penalty issues”!
89.What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of math? “Slap-stract algebra!”
90.Why don’t hockey players ever tell jokes during the game? Because they might get “iced”!
91.What did the hockey stick say to the puck? “You make me feel so ‘puck’ing special!”
92.Why did the hockey player bring a ladder onto the ice? Because he wanted to go “top shelf”!
Field Hockey Jokes
92.Why did the field hockey player bring a ladder to the game? Because they wanted to take their skills to a “higher level”!
93.What’s a field hockey player’s favorite type of music? “Rock and goal”!
94.Did you hear about the field hockey team that scored so many goals? They ran out of space on the scoreboard!
95.Why was the field hockey coach always cool and collected? Because they knew how to keep their “cool-sticks”!
96.How did the field hockey team celebrate their big win? They had a “ball” and stuck around for more fun!
97.What did the field hockey ball say to the player? “Stop hitting on me, I’m not into ‘stick-y’ relationships!”
98.Why do field hockey players make great detectives? Because they’re always good at finding the “net”!
Funny Hockey Stories
99.In a classic mix-up, a hockey coach asked his star player to “break a leg” before a game. The player must have taken it literally because he slid into the boards and sprained his ankle!
100.During a charity hockey game, one player accidentally knocked off his own teammate’s wig with a body check. The opponent skated away with his hairpiece, leaving everyone in stitches!
101.A young hockey fan once asked a player for an autograph and handed him a piece of paper and a pen. The player took a moment and then asked, “Are you sure this is the back of your report card?”
102.In a youth hockey game, a player managed to score a goal with a puck stuck in his pants! The ref and players had a good laugh as he skated around with an extra “puck” in his stride.
103.An NHL player, known for his witty humor, once said, “I found a great way to stay in shape during the off-season – I stay out of shape all year long!”
104.During an intense game, the goalie’s water bottle went flying after a close call. The ref skated over and said, “That was some impressive hydration, but it’s time to water the players, not the ice!”
105.In a particularly competitive match, a player scored a hat-trick, and fans started throwing hats onto the ice. One enthusiastic fan even threw a toaster. Afterward, the player joked, “I guess they thought I needed some ‘toasty’ success!”
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Conclusion
Hockey dad jokes are a great way to lighten up the mood at any hockey game or gathering. Whether you’re a die-hard fan or just someone who enjoys a good laugh, these jokes are sure to bring a smile to your face.
So whether you’re at a game or just having fun with friends, don’t forget to throw in a few good hockey dads jokes to make sure everyone has a good time.
