Laugh out loud with this hilarious collection of jokes about St. Peter! From the gates of heaven to his time as a fisherman, we’ve got the best jokes about one of the most important figures in Christianity. Start your day with a smile and bring some joy to your day with these jokes.
St Peter is one of the most iconic figures in Christian lore, having been the keeper of the keys to the Pearly Gates and the gatekeeper of Heaven itself. His role in Christianity has been the subject of countless jokes and stories, making him a popular source of comedy in both religious and secular circles. Here are some jokes about St Peter that are sure to make you laugh!
Knock Knock St Peter Jokes
1. Knock knock?
Who’s there?
St. Peter!
St. Peter who?
St.Peter opened the gates, let me in and we’ll have some fun!
St. Peter Jokes.
2. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
St. Peter.
St. Peter who?
St. Peter, let me in or I’ll start a singalong!
3. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
St. Peter.
St. Peter who?
St. Peter, open up, I’ve got a great dad joke for you!
4. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
St. Peter.
St. Peter who?
St. Peter, I’m here to see my mom. Is she with you?
5. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
St. Peter.
St. Peter who?
St. Peter, do you have any heavenly WiFi? I need to check my email.
6. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
St. Peter.
St. Peter who?
St. Peter, can you give me some directions to the nearest Starbucks?
7. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
St. Peter.
St. Peter who?
St. Peter, I brought my guitar, can we jam?
8. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
St. Peter.
St. Peter who?
St. Peter, I’m a comedian, can I do a set for you?
9. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
St. Peter.
St. Peter who?
St. Peter, I’m sorry I’m late, I got lost on the way up.
10. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
St. Peter.
St. Peter who?
St. Peter, I’m here to audition for the heavenly choir.
11. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
St. Peter.
St. Peter who?
St. Peter, can I speak to God? I have a few questions.
12. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
St. Peter.
St. Peter who?
St. Peter, can I get a selfie with you?
13. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
St. Peter.
St. Peter who?
St. Peter, do you have any snacks? I’m starving.
15. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
St. Peter.
St. Peter who?
St. Peter, can you show me around? I’m new here.
16. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
St. Peter.
St. Peter who?
St. Peter, can I borrow your harp? I left mine at home.
17. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
St. Peter.
St. Peter who?
St. Peter, do you have any spare halos? I lost mine.
18. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
St. Peter.
St. Peter who?
St. Peter, can you help me find my wings? I think I left them somewhere.
19. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
St. Peter.
St. Peter who?
St. Peter, can you give me some tips on how to be more angelic?
20. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
St. Peter.
St. Peter who?
St. Peter, do you have any heavenly sunscreen? I don’t want to burn
St Peter One Liners Jokes
If you want to get a laugh out of your friends or family, telling a joke about St. Peter is a great way to do it. St. Peter is a popular figure in Christianity, so there are plenty of jokes about him that can make everyone smile.
If you’re looking for some St. Peter jokes to tell, here are a few that might do the trick:
21. What did St Peter say when he was asked if heaven had internet access?
Of course! It runs on faith-based Wi-Fi.
22. What did St. Peter say when he stood at the gates of Heaven?
“Welcome to eternity!”
23. What did St. Peter say when he was recognized at the Pearly Gates?
“Ahh, I thought that voice sounded familiar!”
24. What did St. Peter say when a sheep walked into the Pearly Gates?
“Baaahhh-vely!”
25. Why did St. Peter go to the mall?
To do some shopping for Heaven!
26. What did St. Peter say to the lost souls at the pearly gates?
“No soul left behind!”
27. What did St. Peter say when he saw the first rainbow?
“Whoa, look at all those colors!”
28. What did St Peter say to the gardener when he arrived at heaven’s gates?
“Lettuce in!”
29. Why did St. Peter never goes golfing?
Because he always had the gates to Heaven to tend too!
30. Why did St Peter always keep a broom in Heaven?
He wanted to sweep the angels off their feet.
31. What did St. Peter say when he created the gates of heaven?
“Eternity awaits!”
32. What did St. Peter say when he saw the gates of heaven for the first time?
“Wow, that’s one heavenly entrance!”
33. What did St. Peter say to the hot dog vendor?
Make me one without a bunch of Heaven-ly mustard!
34. What did St. Peter say when the angels asked him to open the Pearly gates?
‘Sorry, I don’t have a key!’
35. What did St. Peter say when he first checked into his hotel?
“Wow, this place has gates!”
36. Why did St. Peter put bells on the gates of Heaven?
So he could hear when angels are arriving!
37. What did St. Peter say when he was asked if it was cold outside?
“No, but you’re about to.”
38. What did St. Peter say when he opened the gate of Heaven?
“Welcome to Paradise!”
39. What did St. Peter say to the angelfish at the gates of heaven?
Nothing, they just exchanged angelfish looks!
40. What did St. Peter say when he reached the Pearly Gates?
Heaven must be missing an Angel!
41. “Why did St. Peter have to stand at the gates of Heaven?
Because that’s where heavenly resumes are checked!”
42. Why didn’t St. Peter go fishing?
Because he already had all the saints!
43. What did St. Peter say when he was asked for his ID?
I thought Heaven didn’t have any gates!
44. What did St. Peter say when he was denied entry to the club?
“No way, Jose!”
45. What did St. Peter say when he was at the gates of Heaven?
Here’s your golden ticket!
46. What did St. Peter say when he got to the pearly gates?
“Well, this is heavenly!”
47. What did St. Peter say when he answered the door?
“Jesus Christ, it’s about time!”
48. What did St. Peter say when he was at the pearly gates?
“Knock, knock!”
49. What did St Peter say when he saw a group of angels coming towards him?
Oh, look, reinforcements!
50. What did St. Peter say when he answered the door?
Heavens to Betsy!
Funny Jokes About St Peter
He’s the iconic figure at the gates of Heaven, doling out eternal salvation or damnation. He’s been around for centuries and has been an object of both fascination and ridicule. After all, who can forget his legendary exchange with Jesus in the Bible?
51. Why did St. Peter has so many keys?
Because he was the gatekeeper of Heaven!
52. What did St. Peter do when he lost his keys?
He had to Heaven!
53. What did St. Peter said to the angels when he saw them yawning?
“Heavens to Betsy, wake up!”
54. Why did St. Peter guard the gates of Heaven?
Because he had a lot to lose if anyone saw him coming in late!
55. What did St. Peter say when he saw the gates of Heaven?
“Wow, I was expecting a bigger key!”
56. What did Saint Peter say when he opened the Pearly Gates?
Welcome to Heaven, now let’s get this party started!
57. What did St. Peter say when he clocked into the Pearly Gates?
“Time is Heaven!”
58. Why did St Peter go to the store every day?
Because he always needed more gates!
59. What did St Peter say when he saw the parade approaching?
Looks like Jesus is coming back!
60. What did St. Peter say when he saw a former co-worker entering heaven?
Looks like they finally admit that I’m the boss!
61. How did St. Peter welcome everyone to heaven?
A: With open arms!
62. What did St Peter say when he looked out the Pearly Gates?
“Looks like Heaven is open for business!”
63. Why did St. Peter go to the hardware store?
He wanted to get a new key for heaven!
64. What did St. Peter say when he answered the door in heaven?
“Ah, Heavenly greetings!”
65. What did St. Peter say when he saw a hole in the wall?
“Oh no! I hope it isn’t one of Heaven’s gates!”
66. What did St Peter say when he reached the pearly gates?
Oy! Another sinner!
67. What did St Peter say when he realized he had left his keys in Heaven?
Oh no, I’ve got heaven locks!
68. Why did St. Peter stand at the Pearly Gates?
To make sure only angels got in!
69. What did St Peter say when he saw a scandalous headline about himself?
“Who let the papers out?”
70. What did St. Peter say when he answered the door?
“Oh, it’s you again!”
71. Why does St. Peter carries a large key?
Because he has all the locks to Heaven!
72. Why did St Peter have to unlock the gates of heaven?
Because everyone was dying to get in!
73. Why does St. Peter carry a large key?
Because he has all the locks to Heaven!
74. Why did St Peter have to unlock the gates of heaven?
Because everyone was dying to get in!
St Peter Refrigerator Joke
75.St. Peter was doing his usual gatekeeping duties in Heaven when he noticed a new arrival. He asked the newcomer, “How did you end up here?” The person replied, “I died while trying to fix my refrigerator.” St. Peter chuckled and said, “Well, welcome to Heaven! We’ve got a special spot for you right next to the ice maker!”
76.A man arrived at the gates of Heaven, and St. Peter asked him how he met his end. The man sighed and said, “I was reaching for a snack in my refrigerator when it fell on me.” St. Peter nodded sympathetically and said, “Don’t worry, we have heavenly fridges here, and they won’t topple over on you!”
77.St. Peter greeted a new arrival and asked, “What brought you to Heaven?” The person replied, “I was cleaning my refrigerator, and it unexpectedly sucked me in.” St. Peter chuckled and said, “Well, it’s the first time I’ve heard of someone ascending to Heaven through the fridge! Welcome!”
78.A fellow found himself at the pearly gates, and St. Peter inquired, “How did you meet your end?” The man replied, “I was trying to fix a leaky fridge, and I got electrocuted.” St. Peter chuckled and said, “Don’t worry; we only have electrifying conversations up here!”
79.St. Peter asked a newcomer, “What’s your fridge-related story?” The person responded, “I slipped on a spilled drink from my fridge and met my demise.” St. Peter laughed and said, “Well, at least you’ll find Heaven’s floors to be quite slip-resistant!”
80.A person arrived at Heaven and explained, “I died while searching for leftovers in my refrigerator.” St. Peter grinned and said, “No need to search for leftovers here; everything’s fresh and eternal in our divine fridge!”
81.St. Peter asked a new arrival, “How did you end up at Heaven’s gates?” The person replied, “I was trying to organize my refrigerator when a container of leftovers attacked me.” St. Peter chuckled and said, “Don’t worry, our leftovers here are divine and won’t put up a fight!”
Getting Into Heaven Jokes
82.St. Peter was checking people at the gates of Heaven when a mathematician arrived. St. Peter asked, “Do you believe in God?” The mathematician replied, “I do now. I have a definite proof!”
83.A preacher, a priest, and a rabbi walked into Heaven. God looked at them and said, “I’m really busy today, so I’ll just let you all in. But, whoever can tell me the best joke gets a special spot.” The priest said a joke, the rabbi followed, but the preacher had everyone in stitches. God said, “You’re in, preacher. I could use some laughter up here!”
84.An engineer, a lawyer, and a doctor were discussing who had the best chance of getting into Heaven. The engineer said, “I think it’s me. I build things and help society.” The lawyer argued, “No, it’s me. I uphold justice and defend the innocent.” The doctor chimed in, “You’re both wrong. Doctors play God every day, and we’re still allowed in!”
85.A computer programmer passed away and arrived at the gates of Heaven. St. Peter said, “Before I can let you in, can you fix the glitch in the Pearly Gates’ software?” The programmer responded, “Have you tried turning it off and on again?”
86.A politician died and went to Heaven. God asked, “What did you do during your time on Earth?” The politician proudly replied, “I served the people, promoted peace, and fought for justice!” God nodded and said, “Well, you can stay, but only as a consultant. We don’t need politicians up here!”
87.Two friends, one a scientist and the other a conspiracy theorist, both passed away and found themselves at Heaven’s gates. St. Peter asked the scientist how he died, and he replied, “COVID-19.” The conspiracy theorist said, “I knew it!” St. Peter turned to him and said, “You can enter, but only if you promise not to start any conspiracy theories up here!”
88.A husband and wife arrived at Heaven’s gates together. St. Peter said, “Welcome! I have one question before you can enter: Have you ever cheated on each other?” The husband hesitated but then admitted, “Once, a long time ago.” St. Peter said, “That’s okay. You can enter.” The wife added, “But he cheated on our wedding day.” St. Peter raised an eyebrow and said, “You can stay. Heaven’s the right place for a marriage that started with a bad omen like that!”
St Peter Pearly Gates Jokes
89.A man arrived at the pearly gates, and St. Peter asked, “Have you done any good deeds in your life?” The man replied, “Well, I once gave my seat to an elderly lady on the bus.” St. Peter said, “That’s nice, but Heaven’s a bit more exclusive than public transit. Next!”
90.St. Peter welcomed a comedian at the pearly gates and asked, “Can you make me laugh?” The comedian cracked a joke, and St. Peter chuckled, saying, “You’re in, but keep the jokes PG-13 up here!”
91.A physicist arrived at the gates of Heaven and asked St. Peter, “Can I tell you a quantum physics joke?” St. Peter replied, “Sure, but only if I can understand it!”
92.St. Peter questioned a mathematician, “Why should I let you in?” The mathematician replied, “I’ve solved many complex problems.” St. Peter said, “Well, the ultimate problem solver is inside, but you can join if you can find the equation!”
93.A politician arrived at the pearly gates, and St. Peter asked, “Have you been honest in your political career?” The politician responded, “I’ve been mostly truthful.” St. Peter sighed and said, “Close enough. We have some other politicians up here who can fact-check.”
94.A dog owner approached the gates, and St. Peter asked, “Did you love and care for your dog?” The person replied, “Absolutely, my dog was my best friend!” St. Peter smiled and said, “You’re in, and your furry friend is waiting for you in the Eternal Dog Park!”
95.A chef arrived at the gates, and St. Peter asked, “Did you cook with love and passion?” The chef nodded and said, “I put my heart into every dish.” St. Peter smiled and said, “Good, because Heaven’s potluck dinners could use a top-notch chef!”
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Final words
Overall, jokes about St. Peter are a great way to bring some lightheartedness and laughter into any situation. Whether it’s a story about St. Peter walking on water or a joke about his never-ending keys, these jokes can be appreciated by all ages and walks of life. So whether you’re a devout churchgoer or someone looking for a good laugh, make sure to check out some of the best jokes about St. Peter.