100+ Best Train Jokes for Kids

Do you have a little one who loves trains? Or perhaps you’re just looking for some fun train jokes to tell your kids? Either way, you’re in luck! We’ve rounded up some of the best train jokes for kids!

Train jokes are perfect for kids who have a love of transportation, locomotives, and all things related to the Rails.

Whether it’s an old-fashioned steam locomotive or a modern-day high-speed train, these jokes are sure to bring a smile to your little one’s face. So hop onboard and get ready for some of the funniest train jokes for kids!

Funny Train Jokes for Kids

1.  What did the train say when it sneezed?

“Choo Choo!”

2.  Why did the train go so slow?

Because it was on the wrong track.

3.  What did the train say when it was stuck?

“I’m off the rails!”

4.   Why did the chicken cross the tracks?

To get to the other side!

5.  Why did the train cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!

6.  Why do trains always carry a spare wheel?

Just in case they get a flat!

7.  Why did the train go to the gym?

To train its engine!

8.  What does a train conductor use to stay cool?

 A train-fan!

9.  Why did the train driver wear a red shirt?

 In case he got lost, he could always be spotted!

10.  Why do trains hate math problems?

Because they always have to carry a caboose!

11.  Why did the train go to the doctor?

It had a little engine trouble!

12.  Why did the train get a ticket?

For locomotive-ing!

13.  Why did the train conductor get a promotion?

 Because he was a good engineer!

14.  Why did the train have a hard time sleeping?

 Because it had too many engineers!

15.  What do you call a train that sneezes?

A locomotive!

16.  Why did the train stop in the middle of the field?

 To let the cows moo-ve out of the way!

17.  What do you get when you cross a train and a bicycle?

 A choo-choo-cyclist!

18.   Why did the train always win at poker?

Because it had a lot of tracks up its sleeve!

19.  What do you get when you cross a train and a sheep?

 A woolly locomotive!

20.  Why did the train go to space?

 To visit the milky rail!

21.  Why did the train go to the beach?

 To train for the sand-castle building contest!

22.  Why was the train late?

 Because it had a lot of baggage to choo-choo-choose from!

Best Train Jokes for Kids

Whether you are looking for a funny joke to tell your kids at the dinner table, a railroad-themed activity for your next family game night, or just something to brighten your day, these train jokes for kids are sure to get the whole family laughing.

23.  Why did the train stop in the middle of the track?

It ran out of choo-choo juice!

24.  What did the passenger say when the train crossed a bridge?

“I’m a-bridge-d of this!”

25.  Why do trains make good singers?

 They always stay on track!

26.  What do you call a train carrying bubblegum?

 A chew-chew train!

27.  Why don’t trains go on vacation?

They don’t like to locomote!

28.  How do trains hear?

They use their engineers!

29.  Why did the train go to the doctor?

It had a case of loco-motive!

30.  What did the train conductor say when he saw a herd of cows on the tracks?

 “Mooove it or lose it!”

31.  Why did the train driver wear sunglasses?

Because he didn’t want to be a train-wreck!

32.  Why do trains hate cold weather?

They always get a case of the chills!

33.  What’s a train’s favorite drink?

Choo-choo-cola!

34.  What do you call a train that’s carrying a load of sheep?

 A lamb-choo-choo!

35.  Why did the train break up with his girlfriend?

 She was a freight-train!

36.  What do you call a train that’s been robbed?

 A choo-choo bandit!

37.  Why did the train driver get mad at the ticket inspector?

Because he was always chugging along!

38.  What’s a train’s favorite color?

Railroad blue!

39.  Why did the train go to outer space?

 To see the Milky Way station!

40.  Why did the train need a comb?

Because it had a lot of track-marks!

41.  What do you call a train that’s always running late?

 A delay-caboose!

42.  Why did the train go so fast?

Because it had a locomotive!

43.  What did the train say when it ran out of steam?

I’m out of puff!

44.  What did the conductor say when one of the passengers asked for a ticket?

 All aboard!

45.  Why did the train go so slow?

 Because it was stuck on a track!

46.  What did the train say when it was leaving the station?

 Choo-choo!

Train Jokes One-Liners

47.  Why did the train conductor give up his career?

He couldn’t get on board with the new schedule.

48.  Why did the train cross the playground?

 To get to the other slide.

49.  Why was the train so bad at math?

 It always forgot to carry a caboose.

50.  Why did the train always get lost?

Because it had no sense of rail-ity.

51.  What do you get when you cross a train with a frog?

A hop-on, hop-off service.

52.  Why did the train go to space?

 To visit the milky way station.

53.  Why don’t trains ever eat in public?

They prefer to dine-car.

54.  Why did the train go to the doctor?

It had a loco-motive problem.

55.  Why did the train go to the gym?

 It wanted to get engine-ered.

56.  Why did the train have a hard time falling asleep?

 It had too many engineers.

57.  What did the train conductor say when he saw a cow on the tracks?

 “Mooove out of the way!”

58.  Why did the train break the law?

 It was feeling loco.

59.  Why did the train have a party?

It wanted to locomote.

60.  What do you call a train that comes in late?

A tardy train!

61.   How do trains get to work?

 They take the “rail” road!

62.  What do you call a train with a long nose?

A sniffer-train!

63.  What did the train engineer say when the train passed a cow?

 “Moo-ve over!”

64.  What did the train engineer say when the train got stuck in the mud?

 “Wheels in the muck!”

Train Jokes for Adults

Train jokes for kids can be a fun way to keep children entertained and laughing.

Whether you’re on a family vacation, taking a train ride, or just looking for something fun to do, these train jokes are sure to bring smiles to everyone’s faces.

65.  How do trains get to work?

 They take the train!

66.  What did the conductor say when the train stopped?

 “All aboard!”

67.    what did the passenger say?

“I thought you said ‘all bored!’”

68.  Why did the train run away?

 Because it was scared of the crossing guard!

69.  What did the engineer say when the train was stuck?

 “We’re stuck, but no one’s giving up!”

70.  Why did the conductor quit his job?

 He wasn’t trained for it.I used to be a train driver, but I got sidetracked.

71.  Why don’t trains like birthday parties?

 They always get derailed.

72.  Did you hear about the train that got a speeding ticket?

 It was really loco.

73.  Why did the train take a nap?

 It was a little engine that could use some rest.

74.  What do you get when you cross a train with a hamburger?

 A fast food express.

75.  How do you make a train float?

You add a little engine-uity.

76.  Why do trains make terrible magicians?

 They always reveal their tracks.

77.  Why do trains make such good detectives?

 They always follow the tracks.

78.  How do you know if a train is male or female?

 You check for its caboose.

79.  Why do trains make such good athletes?

 They’re always on track.

80.  Why don’t trains ever go on vacation?

They’re always on track.

81.  Why did the train get kicked out of the bar?

It was on a locomotive.

82.  Why was the train driver arrested?

 He had a one-track mind.

Dirty Train Jokes

These Following train jokes are sure to keep kids laughing and entertained for hours. Whether you’re at home or on a train ride, these jokes are sure to bring a smile to everyone’s faces. So grab your tickets and get ready for a ride full of laughter!

83.   What did the conductor say when the train stopped?

 All aboard!

84.   What did the train engineer say when he saw a cow on the tracks?

 Moo-ve over!

85.   What did the train engineer say when he saw a pig on the tracks?

Pork Chop!

86.   What did the train engineer say when he saw a horse on the tracks?

Neigh-vermind!

87.   What did the train engineer say when he saw a monkey on the tracks?

 Banana split!

88.  What did the train engine say when it was stuck?

I think I’m on the wrong track!”

89.  Where did the train go to get a new engine?

The engine repairs!

90.  Why did the conductor keep running around the train?

 He was trying to get up to speed!

91.  How do trains communicate?

By rail mail!

92.  What did the train conductor say when he saw a cow on the tracks?

Mooooooove!”

93.   What did the train say when it crossed the finish line?

 “I think I made it!”

94.   What did the train say when it was late?

 “I’m running behind schedule!”

95.   How do trains get around mountains?

 By taking the tunnels!

96.  What did the train engine say when it was in a hurry?

“Choo-choo-choose to go faster!”

97.  How do trains make announcements?

 they shout “All aboard!”

98.   What did the train say when it reached the end of the line?

 That’s all, folks!”

99.  What did the ticket collector say when the train didn’t stop?

 “Sorry, no stops!”

100.   What did the train say when it went over a bump?

“Bumpity-bump!”

101.   What did the train say when it went around a bend?

 “Choo-choo-chugga!”

Jokes about Steam Trains

102.  Why did the steam train break up with his girlfriend?

She took him for-granted and never gave him enough space.

103.  What do you call a steam train that’s gone off the rails?

 A loco-motive.

104.  Why did the steam train go to the doctor?

 It had a case of locomotive.

105.  Why did the steam train cross the road?

 To get to the other railway.

106.  Why did the steam train get a job at the bank?

 It had a lot of steam to blow off.

107.  What do you get if you cross a steam train with a shark?

 A steam shark.

108.  Why was the steam train afraid of the dark?

Because it didn’t want to be caught in a tunnel with a ghost train.

109.  Why did the steam train fail his driving test?

He kept getting steamed up.

110.  What do you call a steam train with a cold?

A chuff-chuff-chuffle.

111.  Why did the steam train join the army?

It wanted to be a loco-soldier.

112.  What do you call a steam train that’s always late?

 A tardy loco.

113.  Why did the steam train go on a diet?

It wanted to be a lean, mean, steaming machine.

114.  What do you get if you cross a steam train with a kangaroo?

 A chuffa-roo.

115.  Why did the steam train go to school?

 It wanted to get a steam education.

116.  What do you call a steam train that’s lost its whistle?

A choo without a choo-choo.

117.  Why did the steam train join the circus?

 It wanted to be a loco-motivator.

118.  What do you get if you cross a steam train with a bird?

 A chuff-chuff-chirp.

119.  Why did the steam train go to the cinema?

It wanted to watch the latest steam-punk movie.

120.  What do you call a steam train with a sense of humor?

 A loco-joker.

121.  Why did the steam train go to the gym?

 It wanted to be a steamy, buff machine

Delayed Train Jokes

122.  Why did the train get delayed?

Because it was train-ing to be late.

123.  Why did the train get stuck on the tracks?

 Because it had a locomotive disorder.

134.  Why was the train driver so stressed?

 Because he had a lot of baggage to carry.

125.  Why did the train decide to take a break?

Because it was running out of steam.

126.  Why did the train conductor get lost?

Because he didn’t have a schedule to keep track of.

127.  Why did the train stop suddenly?

Because it saw a red signal ahead.

128.  Why did the train get lost in the city?

Because it didn’t have a conductor’s GPS.

129.  Why did the train have to go to the repair shop?

 Because it had a derailment of responsibility.

130.  Why did the train refuse to leave the station?

Because it was waiting for its train of thought.

131.  Why did the train go off the rails?

Because it was trying to avoid the traffic on the tracks.

132.  Why did the train driver take a detour?

 Because he wanted to take the scenic railway.

133.  Why did the train driver feel like he was going in circles?

 Because he was driving a roundhouse.

134.  Why did the train get lost in the fog?

 Because it couldn’t see the station ahead.

135.  Why did the train feel like it was going in slow motion?

Because it was on a slow train to nowhere.

136.  Why did the train have to stop for a bathroom break?

Because the passengers were getting too steamy.

137.  Why did the train have to switch tracks?

Because the conductor needed to make a u-turn.

138.  Why did the train driver feel like he was in a time warp?

 Because he was going back and forth on the same route.

139.  Why did the train get delayed at every stop?

Because the conductor kept losing track of time.

140.  Why did the train need a caffeine fix?

 Because it was running on express-o.

141.  Why did the train go to the chiropractor?

Because it had a bad case of rail pain.

142.  Why did the train take so long to arrive?

 Because it was on the slow train to China.

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Final Thoughts

These above given jokes are a great way to bring a smile to a child’s face and help them understand the various aspects of trains and railway systems.

Whether it’s a silly joke about a steam engine or a pun about a passenger car, these jokes are sure to bring a smile to any child’s face. With so many fun and clever train jokes for kids, there’s sure to be something that will make your little one laugh.